The Dimensions of the Self - Essay Example

The Dimensions of the Self Who am I? When I answer this question, I immediately think of my group associations, particularly my race, religion, and kin. After that, I think about my own values, attitudes, and beliefs, which my organizations and groups believe in. This kind of thinking highlights how I define myself. I define myself as an element of the collective. I have a hard time seeing myself outside my society and culture. It is as if it is a sin to see myself strongly as an individual. This paper will help me explore the different dimensions of the “self,” including the “I” who is a member of my groups, and the “I” as I want me to be, based on my own personal beliefs. To summarize my identity is not easy, but in essence, I am a Middle-Eastern, male, middle-class Muslim, Emirati, young adult, who supports racial equality and enjoys talking about politics, business, society, and food. When asked about my ethnicity, I see myself as a national of the UAE, an Emirati. Some people find their ethnicity very important in distinguishing themselves from others in their own country, but I do not feel that way. Some non-UAE people might see me immediately as Arabic or Middle Eastern, but those descriptions are too vague for me. I dislike it when they stereotype me as a sexist because they think all Arabs are anti-women. This is not true because I believe that men and women are created equal in the eyes of God. Most of all, I see myself as an Emirati. Emiratis are known for their hospitality. In my family, we feel honored when we receive guests and socialize with our relatives and friends. In our house, it is common to have visitors dropping by. Family relatives drop unannounced frequently because my mother is such as gracious host and good friend to them. Sometimes, this is good because we are updated about the events about the clan. Their presence can be very refreshing, as they bring their stories and humor to us. Other times, I feel no privacy. My family can be very intrusive at times, but I know this is because they want the best life for me. When our guests are in the house, we enjoy time with them, while drinking coffee or tea and eating sandwiches and fresh dates. My mother is a fantastic cook and baker, so she would invite them to lunch or dinner too. They love my mother’s Al Majboos (beef or chicken recipe) and Al Khabeesah (dessert), as well as her gourmet sandwiches. Maybe they come more for my mother’s great dishes. Though the banter can be so noisy, at the same time, they seem to be so peaceful. These are the voices of my blood and they are my soul too. My ethnicity affects me because it is the basis of my culture. My elders teach me what is right and wrong- the right clothes, the right attitudes at the right places and with the right people, and the right words to say to men, women, and children. They say this because it is Emirati and it is Muslim. They are the sources of our norms. To some people, our norms, especially for women, are very restrictive. But I believe that some conservative values protect men and women alike. As long as women can still access the same quality of life as men, conservative attitudes are not wrong. My age group is young adult and that affects me as a person too, because I am expected to make mature decisions as a student and as a man, and to be prepared for family life. Right now, I have the privilege of the youth. My parents are lenient with my activities, as long as I have good grades in school and remain focused on my studies. Of course, they also want me to be a dedicated Muslim, wherever I may be. In addition, my age is the time when people prepare them for arranged marriages. My family still practices arranged marriages, but they do not force their children and relatives to marry strangers nowadays. They are not concerned of how much they will get for these marriages, but they want me to marry an Emirati as well. It is important to maintain traditions for them, although they think they have liberal views too. They do, however, try as much as they can to influence their children. Because of the Internet, parents still “try” to choose for their children. They ask their children and their arranged dates to chat or correspond online, which is good because they do not have to actually see each other and be tempted to do other things. I already met these dates online, but I am not yet interested in marrying. For now, I am enjoying my studies and freedom. Someday I will find the right woman for me, and I will be the right man for her. But that is a long time from now. We both still have to achieve our personal success as individuals. I feel privileged as a middle class because I can access good education, healthcare, and we have some influence in our communities. I cannot imagine how it is to be poor and not be able to eat well or be sick enough because I cannot afford doctors. My parents ensure that they can provide a good life for their children and a middle-class life is a good life. Because of that, I do not have to worry about the food I will eat, where I will get medicine if I get sick, where I will get my clothes, or where I will live. As middle class, I can afford to do numerous activities as I please. I can buy books and read them. I can buy personal luxuries. I can watch movies or buy DVD copies. I can listen to music through my iPod. I can make calls through my cell phone and play games on my iPad. I can engage in sports without being forced to work part-time to make ends meet. I can go to vacations abroad with my friends and family. I have my own car and do not have to worry about public transportation. I am at ease because my basic needs are accounted for. As a middle class child, I can have more time to become who I want to be. I can enjoy myself and have time for my hobbies. Moreover, we have influence in our community. My parents, especially my uncles and father, are considered as leaders. They participate in politics and public meetings. They have power as middle class. Being a man is not easier than being a woman because of the restrictions placed on us by society, although we have fewer controls than women. Our culture demands their men to be good providers to their families and to be strong participants in the economics and politics of their communities and nations. Sports are not my focus because I am not much into sports, except for soccer. I prefer reading and watching movies to sports. As a man, I find fewer restrictions in my physical movement, but controlled in how I interact with women. Sometimes, even when I just want to make friends with the opposite sex because of our similarities in interests, I cannot do that easily. I might be accused of coming on to women if I talk to them. They might also think that I am a sexual predator. I used to think of my friends when I was still a young boy and I wish we can stay that way, so that I can speak and interact with them freely. I do not find anything wrong with speaking with another women or laughing with them in public. I find nothing sinful in being with them for company. This is not wrong. This is just communication and human connections. But my culture has distinct rules, when it comes to the opposite sex. I wonder how much harder it is then for women. Some families are more liberal than others but tongues wag. Women must feel like a boxed package in more ways than I do. So for that, I cannot complain, but I hope for changes when men and women can interact with each other freely as equals and friends. This brings me to the self that includes my personality, which is more liberal than others, but still conservative in some ways, and which believes in racial equality and enjoys talking about politics, business, society, and food. I miss my mother’s cooking all the time in the U.S. Food is not just about fulfilling a physical need because it has emotional and cultural aspects that make me love my Emirate culture even more. Now I will talk about my views. I am conservative because I believe in the sanctity and validity of our religious and political infrastructures. I know that our political and religious leaders have our best interests at heart, but if they stray from the people’s needs and interests, we can express our own agenda to them. I enjoy reading about politics and business. I want to know what is happening around me and how that affects me as a person and as an Emirati. I also take pleasure in reading business articles because my family is involved in different businesses. I have the heart of an entrepreneur too and someday I will expand our businesses. Social events and changes are interesting to me. Our culture will never stay exactly the same as it is 500 years ago. I am open to changes. I support racial equality and think that all races are equal. Moreover, I believe that women should be free like men. They should have rights for mobility, education, and marriage on their own terms. I cannot imagine my future daughters living in conditions where they cannot attain their full potential because they are women. If they want to study abroad, I will allow them. If they want to marry at 30 or 40, so be it. I will not stay in their way of happiness and success. I will not define love, marriage, and happiness for them because I also do not want to be controlled in that way. I want to be free. This is the individual side of me that conflicts sometimes with my culture. I try to find a balance, but sometimes, I am distressed when I displease my parents through asserting myself. This is the individual that clashes with the group, and I am not comfortable when it happens. Slowly, I believe that my family will appreciate my own individual dreams and goals in life. Who am I? I am a Muslim. I am an Emirati. I am a middle-class young adult. I am someone who wants to be free in making my decisions in life. I will respect traditions but I want to be free in being who I am too. My values regarding being a good Muslim and person are the same as others, but I believe in autonomy too. I am me; I am inside my groups and outside it. Read More