My autobiography: using hardships as stepping stones to future success - Essay Example

My autobiography: using hardships as stepping stones to future success Introduction Learning is a tool to acquire knowledge and skill. It may inculcate positive attitudes and behavior in an individual. In early stages of life, children learn to recognize the objects; similarly teenagers learn how they can improve their habits; and adults learn more practical approach of living as how they could meet tasks and solve complex issues of life. For more complex thinking, more practical approach is required. Developing higher level of skill and knowledge, judgment capability and decision making attributes are stepping stones towards self- realization. These attributes collectively participate to bring out change at individual level and, later on, at societal level in its broader context. So, if we develop strong traits and stress coping strategies in our childhood, then, definitely, we are investing for strong personality in life ahead. Theory of Leadership Chemers (1997) defines leadership as, “a process of social influence.” According to this definition of leadership, it can be judged that becoming a leader is a matter of continuous learning and consciousness. While describing the theory of leadership, Tarryn Wallace explains different steps as how to be an effective leader? First of all, a person with leadership traits always judges his/ her talents. He improves his talents and applies them to make a difference in life. It is also essential to think about issues in a broader sense- to have a careful look for the needs and conflicts that need to be addressed. However, that does not mean that the solutions are always cutting or creative; sometimes they are the simplest ones but only require careful consideration. So, this can simply mean that leadership requires the expansion of human sense towards realization process. The second step towards effective leadership is the capability of thinking deeper and bigger. Trying to find out the root of the evil is the first step towards problem solving strategy. However, it is a fact that sometimes the bigger problems may require group efforts and this makes the point where your role as an effective leader comes forward. Next to this, a leader must be proactive in his approach and vision. Based on the realization of bigger issues, he should have an ability to predict the aftermaths. So, instead of sitting quiet and waiting for the things to appear, he should take steps to go further to prevent the root cause. Moreover, if it is impossible to prevent the issue then at least effective leadership allows a person to prepare for the upcoming situation. This is the major difference between the conduct of a leader and an ordinary person. A strong leader is not only a respondent towards different situations but he takes actions to create or prevent things to happen. Furthermore, leaders are well aware who they are and what are their values and convictions. Instead of confronting or conforming what others say, leaders make sound decisions to facilitate their people who grant them power. Simply speaking, a leader is just like the captain of a ship; the destiny of the people traveling in ship is explicitly in the hands of the captain, and it is the duty of the leader to guide everyone in correct direction. A good leader always hope for the best thing but at the same time prepare to face the worst. Of course, he must have to look for a dream and follow his passion. So, in a nutshell, it can be well said that an effective leader must have strong sense of self realization along with enthusiasm. Indeed, as far as my personality is concerned, after getting deep understanding about leadership, I have developed my own mind set about this concept based on my chosen revolutionary and inspirational leader- Barack Obama, the most influential President in the current day world. Barack Obama who was a man of Great Spirit and enthusiasm getting ahead by means of hard work and conviction that life should be lived in a way to serve others, defines leadership as “a matter of persuading people and giving them confidence and bringing them together.” President Obama’s vision of leadership was based upon his belief to unite people under one umbrella. According to him, the rising and thriving class of people can be generated by directing them on a right path. He went through various hardships of life in the course of his success. Lifelong process of hard work and education were the major means of getting him ahead in life. Being a leader, he always believes on a ‘can- do’ attitude that inspires his followers to think that nothing is impossible in this world. Another inspiring character of Obama’s leadership involves his impersonal conduct towards people. This is a strong attribute of his leadership style which drives people of diverse beliefs and values in one direction. He always prefers to include people of multi- cultural backgrounds in his team to force them towards one vision and this shows his more pragmatic approach and strong leadership skills. His vision is simple and very clear. He constantly talks about ‘Change’ that reflects his agenda to bring reform for the welfare and betterment of people. Last but not the least; he always believes that leadership demands continuous effort to achieve goals, courage to evaluate the results and constant dedication to improve further. Considering Obama as my inspirational leader, I also believe that leadership starts with the attitude and brought up of an individual. A leader must have a ‘can-do’ attitude to achieve the quality of life and experience. This sense of inspiration always allows people to be more willing in taking risks. They can better believe in hard work to a more prosperous future. In my opinion, too, leadership is a matter of serving others- creating opportunities to support others in the fulfillment of common goal. A leader must have strong vision, conviction, power and values to leave behind foot prints. Leadership should be taken as a responsibility not a privilege. So, a strong leader must be cautious about his actions as he is a role model for his followers and subjects. However, all the above mentioned vision about leadership is just based on theory. The actual matter of concern is its implications in the real life and above all, in my personal life which is the thrust of this autobiography. Past Experiences My name is Mukaila Adegoke, born on 15th February 1962 in Iwo, Osun State of Nigeria- an era when President John F Kennedy established his office as 35th president of the USA and gave a major input in the history of civil rights. President John F Kennedy pressurized the government authorities and organizations to provide work for African Americans equivalent to Britain Civil Service. In his time, more African Americans were appointed on federal government posts. The year 1962, when I was born, was the time when a black student registered very first time at the University of Mississippi. In 1963, the organization of African Unity (OAU) was also formed in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia near Nigeria. I was born at home to a poor family in a village with no medical assistance. At that time, Nigeria was very poor country as a whole divided into different geo political regions; The Western parts, Eastern and Northern parts. My father, late Mr. Adegoke Atanda, was a farmer from Iwo in Osun State while my mother- late Mrs. Munirat Adegoke, was a trader from Ibadan, Oyo State Nigeria. As a child, I spent most of my childhood living without basic amenities like piped-borne water and electricity. In 1967, I was enrolled into District Primary School, Iwo. That year, the Nigerian Civil War started as a result of military coup and counter coup which proved to be a great human tragedy in the history of Nigeria (This Day in History 1967). This war proved to be a great setback for all those living there. In 1968, I got enrolled in District Primary School. During these days, I had to travel long distance on foot with many other students. Daily, we covered four miles to and from school because there was no transport available nearby. For me, learning and socializing with friends were new experiences and absolutely fun. However, I did not find myself as confident as I could have been in the beginning of my school career. At the same time, what I gained from hardships of my early life is the experience that odd situations in human life always participate to raise our endurance level and stamina in the later stages of life. Applying the Theory Presently, when I think of the initial years of my upbringing viz-a-viz the happenings around the world, especially Kennedy’s commendable input for the welfare and rights of African Americans, I find a source of inspiration, although unconsciously, towards excellence and continuous struggle for betterment in later stages of my life. The analysis of the experiences and competence level of John F Kennedy as a leader allow me to understand that motivated and strong leadership have the strong capacity to translate the visions into reality. My inspirational leader, Barack Obama also portrays the same vision towards excellence. John F Kennedy wished for people welfare and he achieved the target by offering the rights; even, to the crushed people of Africa in America. This just became possible because of his strong inbuilt leadership quality. So, Peter Drucker rightly said the whole idea in his words as, “Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to high sights, the raising of a person’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.” Subsequently, when I evaluate the tragedy of Nigerian Civil war, I find the greed of power and unconscious aspiration of human being as the main reasons behind the whole disaster of war. We find history continuously repeating itself because people ignore the past and value the present. However, what I come to know from my past experiences is that, the nations and individuals who learn from history always acquire the strength to avoid individual and collective disasters and this is the vision that strong leaders also acquire. Life Experiences In 1964, when I was just 2 years old, my half- sister was killed by a rushing vehicle. She was coming from the market with one of her friends, badly distracted and had lost her focus on the road while crossing the road. This resulted in her instant death. Later on, in 1973, I was 11 years old at the time, I became very ill for the first time and hospitalized for two consecutive weeks because of my hectic routine to and from school. After I recovered from the acute sickness, I returned to school to face so many challenges. These confrontations not only involved my academics but also coping with the attitudes of other students who had difficult psychologies and different cultural backgrounds. In 1974, my mother got a job as one of the caterers in the school. This was a happy time because my mother’s job attracted many friends and students to me as they got an opportunity to get free food items from my mother. This new job offered financial security to our family on one hand and a sense acceptance among my peers on the other which boosted my confidence level. Upon completion of my primary school education, I gained admission into a secondary school in 1976. As already mentioned, my village did not possess modern facilities of life like school, colleges and hospitals. I had to move from village to city, the relocation was a big challenge for me. Firstly, this was a first time experience of having to leave my parents and live alone in a completely new environment of a big city. I only traveled to the village on weekends to visit them. Secondly, I had to face another challenge in the new city environment. I found out that the living conditions in a village and city were quite different. Shortly after one year in secondary school, my father completed the construction of his house in the city. My family relocated to a new home in the city and we re-united once again. Tragedy, however, struck in 1978 when my grandmother passed away. It was an extremely sad occurrence where I found my mother crying profusely. We all travelled to Ibadan for the funeral and this was yet another entirely new experience as it was the first time I ever saw a corpse. I was very sad because of the emotional attachments I had to my grandmother, we had shared so many good and bad times together. In 1979, my elder sister got married, I was very excited because it was the first time I had ever witnessed any wedding. An incidence that I would not forget in a hurry was in 1981 when a blind man came to our school to deliver an informative lecture which he titled ‘Deformity is not a barrier to winning souls.’ The lecture was heart touching and left behind a thought provoking awareness in me that if any form deformity or disability is not a barrier then normal human beings can achieve anything they strive to achieve, anything at all! But just when I thought the bad days were over, my mother lost her catering job! The job that gave my family some sort of financial stability. This created a disturbing situation for the whole family. And in 1991, I lost my father, another great setback for me! Two years after, I lost yet another half-sister and again, In 1994 I lost a very dear friend of mine who after two years of his relocation to USA via American lottery was diagnosed of diabetes. Later on, in 1995, I also lost my mother. I was, undoubtedly, depressed and unhappy because I lost loved ones but all these experiences and baggages did not deter me from forging ahead in life. Applying the Theory For me life experiences were matter of developing consciousness time to time. For me the death of my half sister in a road accident was a great setback but at the same time reminded me to be more cautious in the dealings of life. All the tough experiences gave me a new spirit and strength to build up my personality. As Bennis (2003) suggests, a new self was birthed in me. I made up my mind that I would fight against all odds to become successful in life and would go further to liberate my family from miserable life. Soon I realized that I had to adapt to these new circumstances if I really wished to be successful at building a winning career. I also realized the fact that life is about accepting the responsibilities and choices to bring positive change. Turning Points It is change at the individual and personal level that holds the potential for change at a societal level. The diversity of human experiences plays a vital role in human transformation and self-renewal processes in modern life and organisations. When we develop effective life-long learning experience, they awaken the inner self and identify our purpose of living (DiClemente, 2009). Our body goes through a continuous pattern of modifications rather physical or psychological and these changes continue during lifetime. At times, several incidents in life allow us to readjust according to the situation or vice versa. These are known as turning points when we have to take any decision or when we follow any decisive change that benefits the overall results. The human reactions towards various turning points and situations have intense relationship with individual personality build up and this is what the model of transformational diversity leadership (TDL) explains. Such turning points have intense importance in human life as well. This is what forms human character as an individual. When I look up the importance of these turning points in my life, I also found them imperative in my character build up. For instance, in 1987 my elder sister became a Christian. It was very strange to see my elder sister, who was a devout Muslim, change religion since this had never happened before in our family history. She dared to be different! My sister’s action had a very positive impact on my life as I also got converted to a Christian the following year. Shortly after accepting Christ, things started taking shape. I began to understand how to deal with the challenges of life and most importantly how to show love to others. Another incident that still has its reflections on my mind happened in 1972 when President Idi Amin of Uganda ordered the expulsion of Pakistani and Indian’s minority and gave them just 90 days to vacate the country. Although I was very young at that time, I could really feel the pain of the minority communities who had to leave behind their houses and belongings in 90 days only. This was a great setback for the minorities living in Uganda for years. Applying the Theory While developing values, patterns and consciousness about surroundings, I keenly observed all the experiences as how people took the courage to cope with the odd situations. This offered me to develop strength to learn how an individual can gain courage against ill circumstances. INDEPENDENT PERSONALITY AND TRANSFORMATIONAL STAGE- How the leader in me emerged? It is a fact that one’s approach to the world is a cumulative effect of his past, as well as a future perspective (Livia and Whitney 2007). Experiences are considered as a key source towards success. As the Social Change Model opines, these experiences enable an individual to develop a sense of leadership identity. Self-awareness and perception is of great importance in leadership. The sum of all the happenings in my whole life has helped the new ‘me’ to emerge. The significant historic events that occurred resulted in a massive change in perspective, producing a new level of meaning in my life. When I critically reflect on my life’s journey, the process of transformational learning cycle becomes evident: from recognizing a significant problem which I discussed in the earlier parts of the autobiography, confronting such problems, proffering solution(s) and integrating a new perspective into my life (Mezirow, 1991). Mezirow’s (1991) research on adults engaged in transformational change helps to appreciate perspective transformation. He identified the stages of the learning process: experiencing disorienting dilemma, self-examination, critical assessment of assumptions, recognizing that others have been through a similar process, exploring a process, formulating a plan of action and re-integration. I started to believe in my own abilities to achieve whatever goals I set for myself. I became aware of the leadership potential within me, that if I could fight against the odds from my childhood till present and achieve outstanding success, then I could be whatever I dare to be! As Popper (2005) suggests, leadership self-efficacy is the belief in one’s own ability to lead. The perspective transformation can be summarized in what I call “my success story”. This aspect of my life follows on from the harsh experiences of the past. At the age of 20, I finished my secondary school and finally secured a reasonable job in a commercial bank. There, I met Late Barrister Tokunbo Orimobi in 1983 who was my mentor. I learnt so many things from my mentor that assisted me at every level in my professional career. My experience in the commercial bank was good, I found myself very stable and satisfied with the job although I had a strong desire to set up my own business. At the age of 22, I bought my first car- Peugeot 504 SR. After a year, I resigned from my bank job and registered my own private company- Mukad Associates. In 1986, I got my first business contract to do some consultancy job in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Abuja which was a landmark success. Later on, in 1989, I met my wife and we got married in 1990 at the age of 28. In 1992, I was blessed with my first daughter and my second daughter was born in 1996. Although I was enjoying life and career in Nigeria I decided to move to the United Kingdom (UK) in 1998 to find greener pastures. In 2000, I set up a photo printing business in Nigeria with the hope of returning to my country after I must have been more financially stable in the UK. I acted as a broker to a friend when he sold his property and that was a turning point in my life as I used the heavy commission I made from the sales to buy a property for myself in Nigeria. Present In 2005, I was granted a 5 years residence visa to remain in UK. After that, I purchased my first property in the UK. In 2006, I also travelled to Milan in Italy for one week holiday. In the same year, I bought my second property in the UK. I flourished more in the UK compared to my homeland Nigeria. This gave me courage to settle down permanent living in UK. In 2008, my first daughter completed her graduation from secondary school. Then, in 2009, she got admission into university to study law which is a five years course. In 2010, my indefinite leave to remain was granted as I applied for it in 2007. I also got my British passport the same year. I had always had the dream of getting a university degree and finally succeeded in getting admission in London Southbank University despite working full time too. In 2011, my younger daughter also completed her graduation from secondary school and the following year she got an admission into university to study Accounting. Currently, I am busy with my final year project and also preparing for the completion of my graduate degree. Inspirational Leader When I compare my personality with that of President Barack Obama, I find great similarities. President Obama always exercises great care in his decision making especially when it has to do with a sensitive course of action. For instance, he has been choosing strong, intellectual and expert candidates who could better accompany him in his government. Same case goes for me, I never rushed for speedy success and heights. I always preferred to move forward step by step. I also surround myself with the right people. This shows my strong approach and willingness towards success same like any veteran politician. This may be said, to be the main reason why a poor village boy from Nigeria succeeded in obtaining a prestigious job, a private business- Mukad Associates, British passport as well as properties in the United Kingdom. The Future I have high hopes and dreams for the future and I believe the future holds a lot of great potentials for me. I am motivated to keep striving to achieve outstanding success in any of my future endeavors as time has proven the tenacity to succeed pays off in the long run. I close this write- up in the words of James Allen “The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul, a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of reality” References 1. Bennis, W. (2003). On becoming a leader. Cambridge, MA: Basic Books. 2. Chemers, M. (1997). An Integrative Theory of Leadership. United States of America: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc. 3. DiClemente, R. (2009). Emerging Theories in Health Promotion: Practice and Research. San Francisco: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 4. Goleman D, Boyatzis R & McKee A (2002) Primal Leadership: Realizing the power of emotional intelligence, Boston: Harvard Business School Press 5. James Allen(2009) A Life In Brief by  HYPERLINK "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_Horowitz" \o "Mitch Horowitz" Mitch Horowitz, from As a Man Thinketh: Keepsake Edition, Tarcher/Penguin. 6. LIVIA, D'Andrea M and WHITNEY, Rich (2007). The Process of Becoming a Leader: An Individual Identity Model. [online], Available: http://counselingoutfitters.com/vistas/vistas07/Whitney.htm [11th April 2013] 7. Mezirow, J. (1991) Transformative Dimensions of Adult Learning, San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. 8. Popper, M. (2005). Main principles and practices in leader development. Leadership and Organizational Development Journal. 26 (1), 62-75. 9. WikiAnswers. (2013) What are Barack Obama’s Leadership Qualities? [Online], Available: [2nd April 2013]. 10. www.history.com/this-day-in-history/civil-war-in-nigeria [3rd april 2013] Read More