This is not so according to Rebecca Shafir (Shafir 11). She says that we may not be as we think the mindful thinkers. From her book the Zen of listening, I was able to learn that if we take some moments to reflect on our behavior as we listen to other people, we will realize many different obstacles to our mindful thinking. I took my own personal time to find out the obstacles to my mindful listening. From then I realized that I might not be a better listener as I thought.
The first obstacle that I encountered is what Shafir refers to as critical self-talk. I discovered that sometimes when I am engaged in a conversation, I sometimes become nervous, and become worried that I may say something stupid. I become too much engaged in the self-talk rather than the conversation that we are in. Besides this, I may also become worried of my appearance, especially when I am conversing with someone of a higher rank. Sometimes in a conversation, I allow my personal judgment of the other party take over and at several times the person I am conversing with may feel bad since I may ask him to pardon at the time he requires a response from me because of not hearing what he had just said.
Another obstacle that I do face is to allow the experience that I had with the person interfered with the conversation. By bringing the experiences into the present, they affect our interaction even when those experiences may no longer be justified. At several occasions, I have put off some of the people I had previous disagreements with, without taking time to listen to what they had in mind. To be sincere, I have suffered severally because of not listening to some of them.
Using my phone while in a conversation has also been a great obstacle. On a number of occasions, I have been a victim of not listening because I am engaged on my phone either chatting or playing games. Most of my concentration is usually on the phone and I give little