Friendship and the Extent to Which Aksts Writing Applies to Friendship and Possible Deviations - Essay Example

?Friendship Friendship has great value and its effects supersede human imaginations. My most cherished friendship began when I was twelve years old. I was on a family trip to the city after completing my elementary school and I met a young boy whom I did not know upon arrival at my uncle’s place. It was not a pleasant experience because we were strangers to one another. Even though my uncle was not happy about our lack of knowledge of each other, he introduced us as first cousins after which we became friends. I was also able to meet other cousins during my stay in the city but my friendship with this particular cousin has grown beyond any other personal relationship that I have had and I, in this paper, look at friendship and the extent to which Akst’s writing applies to friendship and possible deviations. Basis of friendships Akst, in his article, noted Aristotle’s explanation of three forms of friendship: “those based on usefulness (contacts), on pleasure (drinking buddies), and on a shared pursuit of virtue – the highest form of all” (Akst, 24). Our friendship developed from shared goals and dreams that we aspired to achieve in the future. The only contrasting aspect that existed between my cousin and I was our preferred professions. My cousin preferred a business career. He was a self-proclaimed businessperson and believed that business was the only key that could unlock his fortunes. On the contrary, I had education-oriented goals. I aimed at working hard in school to secure good grades that would qualify me to attend top ranking universities in the country. We however shared common goals despite the different paths that we chose to our respective success. A reflection, ten years later, of our friendship echoes Akst’s point that friendship built on shared pursuit of virtue is the highest form of all existing types of friendship basis. (Akst, 24) Advantages of having friends in the society Wilson in his article addressed the positive implications of friendship. According to Wilson, “living in a society of friends has many advantages. Friendship can moderate our behavior” and “friends help us establish and maintain norms and can tell us if we are running off when others do not notice, will not break the news, or lack the necessary credibility” (in Akst, 26). In any given friendship, there exists a common trait. Personal traits among true friends are always in accord in terms of moral beliefs, ethical standards and political or religious affiliations. The concept of moderation of character in friendship was demonstrated through our relationship. Based on our contrasting success strategies, my cousin opted to venture into business while I pursued my undergraduate studies. Over the years, my cousin equipped himself with versatile entrepreneurial skills while I concentrated on my studies. Within a period of two years while I was in college, my cousin was able to establish and run a successful business firm. In his part, my cousin challenged my strategy of success. He argued that I did not have to finish college in order to own a business. My cousin reckoned that I could continue with my studies while operating a small business venture. He was able to instill in me the art and skills of a young entrepreneur while I was still pursuing my childhood dream of becoming a scholar. After considering his advice, I started supplying the college’s administration with stationeries and later expanded my market to cover the entire college and its environs. It was through our friendship that my cousin moderated my obsession with academic studies and established a renewed perspective of business in my character. Friendship concepts overlooked by the author Misunderstandings in friendships In his argument, Akst failed to mention that friendship is not always perfect. His analysis of the concept of friendship overlooked mistakes and misunderstanding among friends. In my personal opinion, mistakes and misunderstanding serve to strengthen friendship. In my relationship with my cousin, we have had numerous misunderstandings in the past that had contributed positively to our mutual understanding of one another. One outstanding incidence of misunderstanding occurred when I failed to mention to him that I had been mistakenly paid for a job that I had already left. After sometime, the bank debited my account for the wrongful payment and my cousin felt betrayed since I never consulted his advice. The occurrence of such incident served as teaching experience and further revealed my limitations as a friend. In addition, the incident strengthened our mutual understanding Friendship and gay relationships Based on my relationship with my cousin, I also disagree with the claim that the state of friendship in the country has deteriorated because of the liberation of the gay movements in the country as asserted by Wilson. He stated that the current culture “stands particularly ready to sexualize men’s friendship since the gay liberation movement swept mercifully away taboos against discussing same-sex relationship”, (Akst, 25). It is incorrect to correlate gay relationship with plutonic friendship for two reasons. First, gay relationship is sexual while plutonic relationships are never sexual. Many outstanding relationships are not qualified by physical contacts or erotic engagements but through the deeds of selflessness and respect for one another. Men can still walk freely in the streets and have drinks at the bar without the fear of sexual intimidation. Secondly, the liberation of gay movement has improved the state of friendship in the country. Gay relationships are generally sexual relationships and all sexual relationships develop from mutual relationships that were previously based on friendship. Hence, an increase in gay relationship can only result from an increase in the level of national friendships. Even though friendship is one asset that is available to all individuals, recent trends in the United States indicated a decrease in the level of personal friendships in the country. However, this notwithstanding, there still exists mature and genuine friendship in our society. My relationship with my cousin, which began ten years ago, is a perfect demonstration of true friendship. True friendship is one that is based on shared pursuit of virtues and respect for one another. Friendship rewards not only the receiver but also the giver. Friendship does not only moderate the behavior of friends but also leads to establishment and maintenance of rightful norms in the society. However, even though it is evident that people are becoming lonelier, the decrease in the level friendship cannot be attributed to homosexual relationships. Works cited Akst, Daniel. America: Land of loners. The Wilson Quarterly.2010.Web.22 Aug. 2013 Read More