The author says that exercise MAY prevent disease and improve overall health. This should be considered a fact, so the word WILL should be used instead.
There is not really a counterargument present. One…
(Signal phrases are discussed in more detail in section 10g of The New Century Handbook. ) If so, provide an example. If not, suggest the correct way to do this.
In the last paragraph, the author uses a pronoun in a sentence when putting across their point of view. The sentence is: “I believe exercise is necessary because people often are not aware of the correlation between exercise and more serious health problems.” The author could have just cut out “I believe” to make it more formal. Also they should have said “correlation between [a lack] of exercise.”
Overall this is a well-written piece with good uses of quotes to back up each the argument of each paragraph. There was not really a conclusion, and this took away from the message somewhat. The rest of the essay is fine ...
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(Please Critique 2 Papers (week 3) Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 Words)
“Please Critique 2 Papers (week 3) Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 Words”, n.d. https://studentshare.net/english/533946-please-critique-2-papers-week-3.
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