On Seeing a Sex Surrogate by Mark O'Brien - Research Paper Example

The Positive Psychology of Disability Mark O’Brien’s article d “On Seeing a Sex Surrogate” which was published in The Sun magazine in 1990 highlights a critical social issue that has largely remained under the shadows of unawareness, ignorance, lack of knowledge and even a lack of understanding regarding those matters which have the potential to affect and negatively impact the lives of individuals who are suffering from disability or have special physical requirements which render them incapable of acting under the physical norms and boundaries of normalcy. Indeed those readers who were graced with the opportunity of reading Mark O’Brien’s insightful and thought provoking article upon its initial publication in 1990 must have been touched by the profoundness of the story and the raw streak of honesty which prevails in the author’s recollection of a journey which triggered and fulfilled the exploration of his sexuality. Yet, it is the 2012 adaptation of O’Brien’s article under the name of The Sessions starring John Hawkes as Mark O’Brien and Helen Hunt as sex surrogate Cheryl Cohen-Greene that delves into a greater comprehension of the psychological elements of disability, which is a state that for the most part has always been associated with physical consequences rather than accepting the emotional characteristics which are linked with it. The elements that transform the article “On Seeing a Sex Surrogate” into the motion picture The Sessions are rooted in O’Brien’s discussion of his life’s intimate details openly with the priest, the development of a bond of love between himself and Cheryl and his discovery of a life partner in Susan. These factors reemphasize and restate the idea that the positive molding of an individual’s psychological state through love, acceptance and understanding can trigger a profound change in one’s self-image. While, this phenomenon is gradually observed by the audience throughout the course of the film it is eventually witnessed and reaffirmed when the emotional outburst of the three most important women in his life – his nurse, Cheryl and his life partner in the last phase of his existence is projected at Mark’s funeral. Therefore, The Sessions is an insight into the life of disabled individuals who have to fight through life dealing with psychological issues that are prompted by the negative attitude of society and religious construct towards invalids’ sexuality and how these issues can be resolved through the application of positive psychology including the transformation of negative self-image, love, understanding and acceptance. The nonfiction article titled “On Seeing with a Surrogate” written by Mark O’Brien features his life experience as a disabled individual who has lived a sheltered life under the teachings of a religious and traditional household, where sexuality as a topic of discussion was never addressed and even shunned by the author’s parents. O’Brien asserts that this unusual ignorance of a natural phenomenon, especially, in the case of the author’s disability brought upon him several societal pressures and even led to the development of feelings of jealousy against sexually active men and women (1). However, the author also accepts that this sense of jealousy was marked by the presence of innate fears which can be attributable to the psychological issues that may emerge as a consequence of the taboo which surrounds the sexuality of disabled individuals and makes it a social topic that holds fundamental significance. In voicing his feelings of alienation on the matter, O’Brien states: “…it took me years to discover that what separated me from them was fear – fear of others, fear of making decisions, fear of my own decisions, fear of my own sexuality and a surpassing dread of my parents” (1). Another factor that triggered the emergence of a feeling of guilt for O’Brien for having a desire to explore his sexuality was associated with the social and religious construct which did never aided him in developing a more open attitude about himself. In fact, the feeling of guilt was so strong that it almost felt like lying to oneself about an obvious, apparent and certain reality. In one particularly profound phrase O’Brien suggests that society expected a depiction of sex where the author became convinced “…that people should emulate the wholesome asexuality of Barbie and Ken, that we should behave as though we had no “down there’s” down there” (1). However, in this chaos of emotions and uncertainty O’Brien’s meeting with Cheryl, a sex surrogate introduced in his life the first glimmer of acceptance of his own sexuality as he began to accept that it “…feels good to be a man” (3). While, towards the departure of O’Brien’s narration the author maintains a sense of hesitancy and dubiousness regarding the requirement of holding the sex sessions with Cheryl as the sameness of his life remains stagnant, the literary piece presents a reflection into the life of a disabled individual’s psychological dilemmas which are characterized by an inferiority complex, a strong desire for love, affection and companionship and an innate will to keep fighting till the very end. In the 2012 adaptation of Mark O’Brien’s 1990 article, John Hawkes and Helen Hunt presume the roles of Mark O’Brien and Cheryl respectively. While, the screenplay of the motion picture has been adapted from the non-fiction article, the directors have quite intriguingly chosen to modify the finale of the film. Therefore, instead of being introduced with Mark’s uncertainties, doubts and questioning of the true benefit of the sex sessions as his life remains largely the same, the audience is shown a scene depicting the protagonist’s funeral. While, the development of this particular scene does not present the viewer with something out of the ordinary in terms of depiction, the presence of three women who played a critical role in Mark’s life is thought provoking and formulates the basis for justifying why the directors chose to opt out of presenting the ending which was portrayed in the article. The emotional outbursts of Mark’s nurse, Cheryl and his life partner Susan who joined him as his love during the last few years of his life suggests that despite of his physical weakness, Mark impacted and touched the lives of those he met and for that he is remembered. This component of the film’s finale can also be viewed as source of encouragement and appreciation for disabled individuals by suggesting that a disabled individual’s physical weakness cannot and does not disbar him/her from establishing a psychological and emotional connection with another human being. Therefore, disabled people should be encouraged to seek companionship, develop emotional bonds and establish a circle of friends. However, an important point which the film raises in this regard is that the foundation of emotional bonds can only be established once disabled people demonstrate acceptance of their physical state and their sexuality through the assistance of those around them or through the positive support of professionals like Cheryl. A strong point of comparison between The Sessions and “On Seeing with a Surrogate” draws the line on the religious construction of surrogacy and which to a certain extent was conducted by O’Brien in his real life experience to answer his doubts regarding the parallels which can be drawn between prostitution and seeking the help of a professional surrogate. While, O’Brien’s doubts on the professional expertise of surrogates were cleared soon, the religious element of seeking their services appeared to be bleak (2). In O’Brien’s account of his experiences, the figure of Father Mike only appears initially to affirm him that Jesus does not expect Mark to strictly adhere to biblical laws because they can be rejected “out of compassion” (2). However, the filmmakers of The Sessions appear to have deliberately taken a conscious decision to enhance and advance the role of the priest in the article’s film adaptation by critically shaping the character of Father Brendan who by no means is the projected under the boundaries of a traditional priest. This conscious effort on many levels can be seen as a bid to eliminate the stereotypical understanding of religion and sexuality which almost always present the two phenomenons being at odds with each other, which they in fact are. At the same time however, it cannot be forgotten that in Mark O’Brien’s experience his encounter with Father Mike did not emerge as a hurdle towards seeking approval for surrogacy services and this scenario is similar in the movie, what has so drastically changed however, is the manner in which sex and religion have been linked in the drama. In his book titled Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality, Darrel Ray writes that “Religion’s goal is to propagate religion” (n. pag.) and like every other integral aspect of a human being’s life which has been directly impacted by religion in one way or the other, Ray believes that the notion of sex has also met with the same fate. Yet, in Father Brendan’s depiction of the unusual priest who patiently listens as Mark recounts his desire for Amanda and his ultimate decision to opt for the services of a surrogate, there is a general acceptance that an individual’s psychology can be impacted positively if he/she gains a favorable feedback from an institution such as religion which is mostly viewed as a source of shackling and binding individuals. The depiction of religion in The Sessions surpasses the idea which has been put forth by Manning and Zuckerman that religious comprehensions of sex can only be bounded by restrictions (n. pag.) The notion of love lies at the root of coping with the psychological consequences of disability through positivity, understanding and acceptance to enhance negative self-image. Moreover, love is also a need and a yearning which stays with those who have never had the pleasure of experiencing it. Therefore, O’Brien’s comprehension of his psychological problems in the beginning of his article is marked by a sense of depression which is introduced by his negative self-image that fails to accept that love is a possibility for the author despite of several years without companionship and romantic relationships. In one instance of his depression over the absence of love, O’Brien recounts “I doubted I deserved to be loved” (1). While, the intimacy between Cheryl and Mark is addressed in the article it does not epitomize into the feeling of love as is seen by the viewer in The Sessions. This factor is partly attributable to the fact that in the cinematic depiction the audience can understand the shades of O’Brien’s character and learn to accept that sexual relations which are established under such unconventional unions can provide the same or even a greater level of fulfillment then relations that are guided by social institutions such as marriage. For example, in assessing the basis of sexual relationships that involve disability Stone highlights the significance of communicating fears, insecurities and any issues that may hinder the establishment of the relationship and suggests that it is critical for the parties involved to understand each other’s space and try to resolve any factors that may contribute towards problems (189). Perhaps, this factor can be seen as the strongest point of Cheryl and Mark’s relationship which eventually bonds into love – they understand, respect and accept one another. Moreover, the multifaceted nature of Mark’s personality is something which transcends his disability and attracts Cheryl towards him. The Sessions ends with an emotional farewell to Mark and marks a celebration of his glorious life and his fighting spirit. Amongst the three distinct figures who are mourning his death, the audience sees Susan, the woman who eventually becomes Mark’s life partner for the last five years of his life. While, Mark’s relationship which occurred much later in real life is not featured in The Sun article Susan’s appearance reaffirms the concept that the psychological effects of disability can be resolved through the provision of love, care and emotional support which was provided by Cheryl to Mark. Eventually, as Mark is able to enter in a long term relationship after his experience with Cheryl, his experience proves that psychological support which is rendered by a professional who understands specific needs, requirements and self-esteem issues of the other person can in fact work to positively mould a person’s personality and psyche. Moreover, it is also heartening to see that the screenplay of The Sessions which in a sense encourages disabled individuals to seek rehabilitation and reach out to professionals to enhance the quality of their life has been defined by an audacity to challenge traditional notions of the treatment for disability which should not only be limited to physical wellbeing but also mental rehabilitation. In fact, O’Brien’s need for rehabilitation through surrogacy can be correlated with research results which indicate that a positive outlook to disability can advance the subjective wellbeing (SWB) levels of individuals who are disabled and therefore, assist their transition into a normal, healthier and happier lifestyle (Dunn, Uswatte and Elliott 651). While, The Sessions has been adapted from “On Seeing a Surrogate” the narrative of the film has been perfected by ending Mark O’Brien’s journey on a positive note which is both profound and insightful. The film teaches the viewer that the application of positive psychology has the ability to overcome physical barriers and hindrances to shatter a disabled person’s negative self-image and inferiority complex thereby, providing him/her with a new outlook on life. The Sessions can be described as an effort to address a social issue which is seldom addressed by mainstream media platforms for being too controversial or not suiting the tastes of target audiences. Yet it should be accepted that disabled individuals are a part of every society and by breaking traditional social constructs that bar them from playing an active role in their personal and community life, disabled individuals can be provided with an opportunity to live their life to the fullest. Works Cited Dunn, Dana S., Gitendra Uswatte, and Timothy R. Elliott. "Happiness, resilience, and positive growth following physical disability: Issues for understanding, research, and therapeutic intervention." (2009). Manning, Christel, and Phil Zuckerman. Sex and Religion. Cengage Learning Publishers, 2004. O’Brien, Mark. “On Seeing a Sex Surrogate.” The Sun. The Sun Mag., May 1990. Web. 11 Mar. 2014. Ray, Darrel. Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality. IPC Press, 2012. Stone, Karen G. Awakening to Disability. Nothing About Us Without Us. Volcano Press, 2006. Print. The Sessions. Dir. Ben Lewin. Perf. John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, William Macy. Fox Searchlight Pictures, 2012. DVD. Read More