Living Together Before Marriage. A Good Idea - Research Paper Example

Introduction This brief research paper tends to clarify if living together before marriage is of benefit to couples. Staying together before marriage is a common trend in this present day. The figures show that 60 percent of today’s unmarried couples are currently staying together. Living together now never poses great threat and stigma that it did some centuries back. ‘Test run’ is a newly coined word for todays couple who stay together has been a very interesting subject especially for the couples around the world. Hence the need to conjecture its importance (Monica, Para. 9). The paper explains why staying together before marriage is a good compatibility test. It goes a bit further to explain it’s importance of testing the commitment level of couples before marriage. Short explanations are also stated in regards clarify beliefs of couples who during ttheir younger years their parents went through horrific divorce and left a negative dent pertaining to marriage. the paper will also explain the importance of staying together before marriage as a means of helping couples whose former relationships have been horrible and try and baby step them to overcome this past experience by staying together first. Background Staying together before marriage is beneficial to love birds because it will help them know if they are compatible. Compatibility saves couples from messy and brutal divorce that they have to go through if their marriage is not working. Staying together acts as a litmus test to deduce if the two lovers can stay together (Iyer, Para. 24) Their commitment will be evident if they manage to solve problems within a period of time, if not then its best for them to call it quits since this will save them litigation money, embarrassment and despair that divorcing couples usually go through. Bill Maier, PH.D states “ Living together is a good way to find out if couples are compatible-a sort of test drive that will determine your chances of marital success.” More so, Dr. Galena Rhodes who is the D.U for marital status and family states “ a study indicates that almost half of first marriages break within a minimum period of 20 years.” This was in reference to the couples who stay together without marriage. most of them feel that, marriage is a huge commitment and their ambitions about their careers they decide its best to be safe than sorry since it will not cost them much when they say ‘they have separated’ rather than say ‘they have divorced’ (Iyer, Para, 7). In addition to that, many young individuals have grown in the era where there is numerous horrific divorce that leave the young individual traumatized with no clue of handling separation of the two most important people in their lives. Hence they develop that kind of mentality that marriage is always ending up in separation basing their facts on past encounters. Hence they are very much reluctant to marry or get married. Staying together before marriage will baby step this young individuals towards shaping this kind of belief. (Iyer, Para, 9). Consequently, living together between couples can become the most crucial part and phase before marriage. Other couples have experienced traumatising break ups and divorce hence they find it difficult to marry immediately since they don’t want to experience the same encounter. Hence they will prefer to first stay together to test the waters before finally deciding to tie the knot which is a good and wise decision. Staying together before marriage for couples that who have separately undergone divorce is also good since it will demistify the bad notion about marriage and bad luck hence making it a good idea and the best option to consider.(Marriagebuilders: Para, 2). Furthermore, staying together before marriage is also beneficial for the lovebirds who are still in doubt and still adamant about their commitments and with the possible staying together they will find strong reasons for increasing their commitments. “Reason lovebirds cohabit is that they are still adamant about commitment and are likely to pack their bags and take off when problems they can’t solve arise. Cohabiting may make happy marriage more difficult. Recent study, for example, suggest, ‘less motivation is evident when lovebirds develop create support skills and conflict resolution.” It is true that staying together is like a test drive and couples aren’t 100% sure about their commitments . but when staying together turns out to be more fulfillinhg and they find out that they can really stay together the level of commitment also increases and eventually marriage will suffice. In addittion to this, staying together before marriage after increasing the commitment for the doubtful partners it gives the partners a sneak peak of what they should expect in their marriage. reason being staying together and marriage are simillar and there the thin margin of difference is the fact that marriage symbolizes the legal bond. But this brushed aside staying together before marriage will create awareness of what to expect from each other in their marriage life. It will paint the life lessons of the norms and rules of a peaceful cohabitation between the man and the woman. This is a good way to psychologically prepare the couples of ways to adapt to their loved ones bad and igly lifestyles and behaviors. More so, basing on cohabitation on the bright shinning side, when staying together one gets to know his/her partners deeper than when just marrying immediately. You get to know all the dark and bright sides. Staying together also brings to surface other far reaching issues such as your mate’s desire to have children or not, or even the vision of the relationship if you have a long or short term goals this can be done effectively while staying at the same roof together. In addition to this, approaches both of extended families will have sway in your relationship (Iyer, Para, 6). Another advantage of staying together before marriage is that apart from the commitment shown, there is a high possibility that the couple save on money that they could have used on separate houses and frequent transport cost if they were to visit each other. Especially when the places are far. But staying together in one roof with your partner provides an opportunity to save money and time. Another advantage is that living with your partner before marriage is a recipe for saving money and investment. To support the above reason, staying together before marriage is significant since marriage has an effect on those who abide by the strict rule of marriage engagement. Marriage commitment is seen as the "other guy's" commitment. Those who have stayed together before tying the knot see their own actions as have passed the test and are reluctant to behave well since they have the notion that there spouse can’t leave now that they are married and they think that if they marry they will ruin it all. This is just but an indication of how good staying together gives the family the couples motivation to continue working hard to commit to each other in the come we stay relationship. Glen Stanton director of family formation studies at focus on the family says “staying together is a moral standard issue. Although viewing it in the psychological and social perspective sets it clear that staying together before marriage may be short-lived and more volatile than marriages because cohabitation is an ambiguous relationship,” this statement has shadowed the element or the fact that these people since they are in this volatile relationship they can as well try very hard to make it work on the other end. We need to practice cause practice makes perfect and that’s exactly what cohabiting advocates for before marriage. Couples should constantly stay together before marriage in a preparation before they tie the knot.(Bower, Para, 5). Conclusion Couples have been bothered by the fact of staying together before marriage. They have being trying to weigh if it is a recipe for a successful marriage or not. Hence the reason for this paper to find out if staying together before marriage is a good idea? This research paper has indeed painted vividly the benefits of staying together before marriage. This paper explains that to know your partner more in a deeper way and understand their weakness and to see if you can cope with them you have to stay together before marriage, to reaffirm your commitment to each other you have to stay together before marriage, to help partners who have experienced bitter past relationships then staying together will provide them with the necessary remedy to start over again before marriage. To test compatibility among couples then there is need to first stay together and later decide if you can marry that is if you are compatible. And to help young individuals whose parents went through divorce and created a dent in their children life its is important for them to stay together in order for them to off-set the belief. Works cited Bower, Lisa.” Cohabitation Before Marriage: a Good Idea.” Life123.com. 21 April,2014. Iyer, Sujata. “Living Together Before Marriage: Good or Bad?” buzzle.com. September 20 September 2011. “Living Together Before Marriage.” Marriage Builder. Marriagebuilder.com.2014 Monica, Ask. “Living Together Before Marriage: A Good Idea?” phillymag.com. 12 May,2013. “Why Living, Together. before marriage Is not a Good idea.” Marriage Mission. Marriagemission.com 2014 Read More