Why do we love and cheat - Research Paper Example

? Why do we love and cheat Love indeed is feeling that any person might have indulged at least one time in his whole life time well if one thinks whydoes love happen to anybody, the response to it can be vague and unrealistic. Love is a cocktail of emotions and once this lethal combo strikes a person, he only gets drowned in this without him noticing it. Love has always been an inspiration for people around the worlds in all ages and civilizations. However, there had been always a dark side attached to the romantic stories of earlier times .This was that the lovers always get desperately obsesses with each other and mostly are ready to give up their life for this immeasurable emotional and physical attachment. According to (Obringer) “Love is a chemical state of mind , that's part of our genes and influenced by our upbringing. The scientists are discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love”. Love is a beautiful experience, but the other side of it is very dangerous and vicious and that is cheating stage. Cheating has always been a hidden part of love and many have been victimizes to this hazardous phenomena. However, with all this turmoil and fatal turns and twists, people still knowingly engage in love affairs. We never want to stop loving, after all the negative emotions we have been through, we still want to fall in love. This is where the scientist, anthropologist and psychologist get confused and they are definitely sure that love is not a chemical play but largely something beyond it. Helen Fischer here is talking about the mysterious topic of love and cheating and how all this works out in the brain of an individual. Helen is an anthropologist who researches on gender differences and human emotion and behaviors. She here explains that love is a concept which has mesmerized men and women at all times of history and the idea behind it is still unknown to human species. But loads of experiments and researches have been undertaken by Helen to understand the real reason behind why people fall for a particular person leaving the rest behind. She states that people are even ready to die for the person they loved which shows us the power of love and affection. From her speech we can make out that the real culprits behind love is the chemical rushing through our nervous system. The chemical dopamine has an upper hand in developing love and making the people involved in love addicted to a particular person. Dopamine is considered to be the pleasurable chemical which gives a felling of happiness and bliss to the people involved in romantic relationships. Helen states that, lovers she experimented had rush of chemicals in their brain and according to her love is a combination of lust, attachment and romantic feeling. However, it is not only human who have this chemical movement in brain but animal also do feel the same. As per (Ghosh) “In animals, scientists have observed that a chemical called oxytocin is involved in developing a bond between a mother and her young”. Apart form loving, people also do cheat and it is not always men who cheat but also women commit this sin. According to Helen, world can be a deadlier place, ff love never existed between people and this is an extremely worthy statement. Without love what would be the purpose of existence for human being. It could be utterly foolish to tell that eating, mating and defending is the sole purpose of life. A life without the feeling of love is bland, less purposeful and deadly. It would not be wrong to mention that no one would want to live this life without feeling love or giving love to someone. Helen here explains that women are more loving, undestanding and articulate and communicative than men. She explains that both of men and women brain work different and it is definitely an undeniable truth. “On average men; and women’s brains are not the same. Men’s and women’s were engineered , in part to handle quiet different tasks ,and that engineering is expressed in us still”(Lichtenberg, pg.36). We can very well accept the fact expressed by Helen Fischer that women are on equal stand to men nowadays and marriages in this era is more of equality and compatibility rather than superiority and subservience. Nonetheless, love has always been the centre to all human relationship as lust and attachment cannot solely pull the life forward. Love is substantially important to keep the human grow mentally, physically and spiritually. As the common notion prevalent in the society, it is not men who always cheat but women are also cheating at some what same proportion... However, it could be said that women are more emotional, sexually attached and caring which makes her little less prone to cheating than men. Helen also states that when in love people tend to idealize their partner and everything related to their partner looks appealing to them .This is a fact and there is something beyond chemical powers that pull us toward our partner which is beyond human intelligence can grasp. One thing we forget is the role the heart play in love and romantic relationship. It is just not brain and chemical which is involved in love but heart has a magnificent and unusual part to play by using its magnetic pull towards love. Love is not a thing which can be studied or analyzed by people in laboratory or with MRI scanning machines. It is rather a very deep feeling which make the life force emerge in to a feeling of bonding and nurturing which is beyond theory and psychological concepts. Love is a diving gift from god and cheating is the evil string attached to it. According to ( Cohen,248)“ Cheating is not about love – it is about being too lazy to be honest with yourself and the people who like you or love you”. People have always been greedy and if the urge for lust and sex come in between the emotions then it can no longer be termed as love .To fall in love is not easy as cheating, as it needs a pure heart and soft feeling flowing inside it and to remain in love is indeed is a blessing from divine. References Cohen, Harlan. The Naked Roommate: and 107 Other Issues You Might Run into in College. Naperville, IL. 2009. 248. Print. Ghosh, Pallab. "Is Love Just a Chemical Cocktail?" www.bbc.co.uk. BBC, 7 Jan. 2009. Web. 1 May 2011. . Lichtenberg, Ronna. Pitch like a Girl: How a Woman Can Be Herself and Still Succeed. Rodale, 2005. 36.Print. Obringer, Lee Ann. "How Love Works." Howstuffworks "People" How Stuff Works Inc., 2011. Web. 01 May 2011. . Read More