The Male Dominance Effect - Essay Example

This paper argues that most women indeed prefer dominant men as their partner in life. They want to feel secure and be dominated in their personal relationships, especially in marriage. But this dominance is only allowed by women for the sake of their security, nothing more. Women begin to desire their own freedom or independence when men’s dominance becomes too much, bordering on arrogance and egotism. This preference for dominant women is not natural or biological, but, indeed, socially constructed and culturally influenced. The Male Dominance Effect Introduction In Chapter 12 of The Second Sex entitled ‘The Woman in Love’, the author gives a description of how women love inside and outside marriage or, in essence, how they want to be loved by their partners. As argued by Cecile Sauvage: “When the woman loves, she must forget her own personality. This is a law of nature. A woman does not exist without a master. Without a master, she is a scattered bouquet” (De Beauvoir 683). This statement suggests that women in intimate relationships want to be dominated or, in essence, they are attracted to dominant men. This research paper will examine this prevailing idea that women are attracted to dominant men. More particularly, this paper will try to answer the following questions: (1) Do women prefer dominant men as husbands? (2) Do women prefer to be dominated by their male partners? In order to answer the abovementioned questions secondary literature will be reviewed, particularly empirical studies related to the topic. Essentially, the objective of this paper is to determine whether women themselves prefer to be dominated by their male partner or that they simply do not have a choice. De Beauvoir (2012) herself investigates how women strengthen their own subordination to male dominance. According to her, mystics, women in love, and narcissists accept their existence by inundating their self with an outside object, such as God or a spouse. De Beauvoir cites examples of women being blameworthy for their inferior position relative to men, especially in relation to marriage. The complexity of cutting loose from ‘femininity’, or from giving up comfort and security for an unpromising concept of equality, encourages numerous women to embrace the traditional, unrewarding domestic tasks of motherhood and wifehood. From the start of her analysis, de Beauvoir outlines the economic forces of women inferiority, as well as the economic causes of female emancipation. Women can gain independence only through work. If they can be self-sufficient, provide independently for their own needs, they can also attain a kind of liberation. In the final sections of his book, de Beauvoir talks about the structural barriers women confronts in trying to achieve this objective. Male Dominance: What it really means for women? Numerous social scientists have made a prediction that women’s inclination to prefer dominant men as partners will vanish once they gain higher social standing and economic autonomy; specifically, once self-sufficient women no longer have to get resources and status through their male partners, such female tendencies will become less widespread. However, this is not taking place (Townsend 150). Women with greater resources have a tendency to improve their socioeconomic status for partners. The more determined, single-minded, expressive, and education woman is, the more she wants to be respected by her male partner. For instance, when asked what they want for a male partner, most of the women interviewed admitted they prefer a man who is dominant, someone they could respect and look up to. When asked why they need such protection from a male partner, they were uncertain and stated it was simply an irrational want. These women said they knew they would have enough resources, and they do not hope a man would safeguard them from any actual threat. However, they admitted that having a male partner they really respected would give them a feeling of security. Indeed, some of the most passionate supporters of feminism where the most open in pronouncing their preference for dominant, successful, strong male partners. These women have a tendency to want male partners who were superior to them in a financial and professional way, provided that these men did not attempt to exercise their dominance to compel the women to sacrifice their own professional objectives (Townsend 152). Anthropologist William Jankowiak (1995) talked with several professional women who were passionately devoted to feminist ideology. At first, in selecting their male spouses, these women had deliberately chose men who were trying to go beyond long-established ideas of femininity and masculinity, men who were capable of recognizing and admitting their weaknesses and uncertainties, and eager to perform some domestic tasks. As their professional life advanced and their earnings matched or exceeded the incomes of their male spouses, these women became discontented with their spouses. A 31-year-old CEO admitted that she finds androgynous males attractive (Townsend 152): You could seduce them and that was nice knowing that you had the power to decide when and where you would have sex. Though other times it became too much of an obligation. The men’s inability to assert themselves—once the novelty wore off-got on my nerves. A 37-year-old successful female entrepreneur at first shared a fervent sentiment toward feminist ideology with her male spouse. Nevertheless, she said that as she matured and accomplished things in her professional life, feminism started to dissatisfy her and so did here male partner (Townsend 152-3): About this time I noticed David’s irregular work patterns. I began to resent his lack of effort. At the same time, I felt increasingly incomplete. It was as if something was amiss with my home life. No, it was more like something was amiss with my love life. I resented David’s passivity… I found myself wanting him to be assertive, even dominate me [laughs] at times. I guess that’s why I’ve decided to drop in on these weekly chats. I wanted to know what’s going on with me. Majority of the women interviewed admitted that they prefer ‘challenging’, dominant men. When men are easy to get, women tend to be fed up because there is no excitement in the pursuit. When these women were asked about what ‘getting’ a man means, they provided different instances of eagerness to invest—treating her with respect, eager to spend time with her, be loving, or not flirting with other women. In the college subculture, a widely known word for a man who is eager to give anything for the woman she desires is ‘whipped’ (Syder, Kirkpatrick, & Barrett 428). This word reveals the fact that ‘soft’ men are negatively viewed by their female counterparts, which, consequently, implies that women prefer a man who exudes an air of dominance. A large number of women admitted that they at times initiated arguments so as to dominate their spouses. At times they just want to know if their spouses loved them enough to show strong emotions. They admitted they prefer a constructive disagreement sometimes rather than be with a partner who is emotionally detached and reserved. Sometimes the fight served to check the limitations of the man. The woman would insist on a topic or problem to see if she can win or outdo her male partner (Sadalla et al. 732). It appeared that now woman prefer a male partner who was completely submissive; a fight could prove to her the self-value and energy he has, where he would defend himself and dictate the rules, and how much he is concerned about her feelings or actions. Majority of women who use this kind of testing method are not aware of their objective when they do so. Some of them understand their reasons looking back; others never do. Yet, some are very perceptive and discerning in portraying and interpreting their behavior (Townsend 153). Since the 1987 breakthrough research disclosing women’s attraction to dominant males, researchers have assumed that women would have chosen male partners most likely to provide for and protect them. Sadalla and colleagues (1987) reported findings showing that women want highly dominant men as potential partners. Nevertheless, Snyder and colleagues (2008) challenged the reliability of the initial findings. They noticed an absence of agreement among academics about what makes up social dominance. They also did not understand how female tendency is different between marriage and casual sex. In their research, they reported findings from three investigations conducted with college women. They described dominance as ‘forced leadership’, distinguished by aggressive behavior and other bossy or forceful methods in the quest for the fulfillment of self-interest (Synder et al. 428). They reported that dominance forces followers to surrender to a superior male through fear or threat. They have a tendency keep wider physical space from the superior male. On the other hand, prestige is described as voluntarily granted status by colleagues as a reward for specific skills. People gain from relationship with highly capable individuals, for it is more productive to emulate their knowledge than perform learning through trial and error. The prestigious person is respected, admired, and glorified by followers. Therefore, the findings of Snyder and colleagues (2008) exposed a number of major points: first, when able to choose between prestige and dominance, women show a definite preference of a prestigious man over a dominant man; second, women want less dominant men for short-term and long-term sexual relationship, but the preference is greater when looking for a permanent spouse; third, women want prestigious partners, and this tendency is also greater for long-term sexual relationship; and fourth, women are attracted to dominant character within the context of sports, but punish them for permanent and temporary sexual relationship (Cravatt 29). In view of this, differentiating between prestige and dominance is important to improving our knowledge of femininity, especially with regard to women sexuality. In general, the study shows that females are not drawn to unpleasant men; they are drawn to males who gain the approval and respect of other males, and who exhibit bigheartedness and compassion. The level to which females punish dominance against prestige is relative or circumstantial, in accordance to their own mating or marital goals (Wooldridge 83). It must be mentioned that prestige and dominance are different, but not totally distinct paths to social standing. Paradoxically, membership in fraternity and sports may indicate prestige instead of dominance, even though its members generally prefer causal sex and take part in overbearing attitudes, especially toward females (Snyder et al. 429). Fraternities, which often promote themselves as providing both male companionship and more ability to get valuable women, are apparently selective in recognizing men who can support or even enhance the reputation of the group. They pursue these men vigorously, even setting up meetings for them in certain instances. The school athlete possibly has the greatest ability to entice women, as he is endowed with prestige for coordination and fellowship, and thrills women by showing dominant attitudes in sport competitions (Townsend 154). Unluckily for females, a prestigious male is no assurance of pleasant attitude toward the opposite sex, especially before he is completely developed and matured. In fact, he will be influenced greatly by his peers, which have a tendency to give much more importance to dominance rather than humility and trustworthiness (Cravatt 60). The messages for women are definite: first, they should look for males who have gained prestige from other men through their skills and capabilities; second, evaluate a man by the friends he has, and how much he is truly admired and respected by other people; third, keep away from males who have a tendency to be controlling and aggressive; fourth, anticipate males taking part in casual sex instead of serious relationships to manifest greater dominance, as it is less punished in a temporary sexual relationship; and lastly, males with acquired prestige have greater emotional quotient than self-centered men. Women should try to determine the breadth of emotional strength in males (Snyder et al. 438). The emotions do not have to be centered on a woman, but he should manifest solid faithfulness and love for all those he cares about. The connection between dominance and male appeal is not limited to our society. Dominance structures are present in all cultures; dominance is a quality of the male role in every society. Male biology relates to dominance and aggression and pushes men to achieve high status in the social ladder. Across the globe, men exhibit skill, accomplishment, and status as tools for courtship. And in all cultures, women are drawn to men exuding dominance. In the study of Townsend (1998), females regarded males as ‘challenges’ when it was hard to encourage these males to be sexually faithful and to focus only on them. These males have the ability to form sexual relationships with a number of women and hence do not have to focus on a single woman. Normally, men who received high prestige in their peer groups had several sexual mates. High-profile males like athletes and celebrities, all revealed at least a hundred different sexual mates (Townsend 155). Males who were interviewed by Townsend (1998) were aware that their appeal was dependent on their prestige. For instance, several football players said that their appeal to the opposite sex all relied on the setting and status. A campus bar particularly is popular as a football den and they achieved numerous successes here. They said that when they go to events in other places where they are strangers, they are practically snubbed by women until, for instance, a prominent athlete or sportscaster makes an introduction of them and verifies their status. The male athletes also admitted that they normally wore their varsity accessories like jackets to show their status. Conclusions Do women prefer dominant men as husbands? As shown in the studies mentioned, women prefer dominant men as spouses because this form of dominance somewhat provide them some extent of comfort and security. According to Townsend (1998), women sometimes ‘challenge’ men or provoke confrontations in order to confirm the dominance of their male partners. But do women prefer to be dominated by their male partners? No. Women prefer dominant men as spouses but they do not want to be dominated per se. Women will persistently try to assert their dominance, but at the same time they also want their male partners to draw the line for them. So what is the implication of such findings on De Beauvoir’s assertions? These imply that women want dominant men because they want to feel secure, nothing else. Hence, it does not necessarily mean that women should be blamed for their subordination, because, as shown in the interviews with professional women, they aspire to become self-sufficient or independent so as they do not have to depend on their male partners for resources and status anymore. Works Cited Cravatt, Marguerite. Beyond Ordinary Sex. New York: iUniverse, 2004. Print. De Beauvoir, Simone. The Second Sex. New York: Random House, 2012. Print. Jankowlak, W. Romantic Passion: The Universal Experience. New York: Columbia University Press, 1995. Print. Sadalla, Edward et al. “Dominance and Heterosexual Attraction,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 52.4 (1987): 730-8. Print. Snyder, Jeffrey, Lee Kirkpatrick, & H. Barrett. “The dominance dilemma: do women really prefer dominant mates?” Personal Relationships 15.4 (2008): 425-444. Townsend, John. What Women Want— What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1998. Print. Wooldridge, Frosty. How to Deal with 21st Century American Women: Co-Creating a Successful Relationship. New York: Author House, 2013. Print. Read More