The principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications - Essay Example

? Final Paper Final Paper Dear John and Jane, Following your request for advice on your relationship, I hereby write this letter to inform you about some of the basic essentials of an interpersonal relationship. Interpersonal communication can be termed as an essential component of any relationship. For a relationship to be successful, all the parties involved should embrace interpersonal communication in whatever they do. This letter will detail some of the vital components of an interpersonal relationship, which play an essential role in determining a relationship. The principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications There are several principles that underlie effective interpersonal communication. These principles should be adhered to in order to enhance the success of any interpersonal communication endeavor. The principles of effective interpersonal communication have emanated from mediation, focusing on the quality and nature of interpersonal communication and relationships. One of the key principles of interpersonal communication demands that people should treat one another with a lot of respect. A couple should enjoy being together and present for one another during times of difficulty. Another principle of effective interpersonal communication is that people should not interrupt one another. This principle is essential as it helps a person to be listened to when he or she talks with another person. By not interrupting others, conversations will become useful, joyful, interesting, and worthwhile (Mayer, 2007). In interpersonal communication, there is a vital principle, which demands that people should not volunteer others. This denotes that there should be the recognition of valuing the right of the other person to make their own choice. As such, there is no need to use one’s language in a manner suggesting we are choosing for the other party. The other principle of effective interpersonal communication is that everyone has the right to pass. This means that a person can make the choice not to do something, especially when he or she does not have the feeling to do it. With this principle in mind, everyone should take responsibility for their own actions and choices. Interpersonal communication also calls for the principle of speaking, but the speaking should not be for long or happen too often. Based on this principle, it can be deduced that talking for too long affects the reliance on communication as a way of connecting with others. Therefore, it is of considerable significance that we allow others to talk about ourselves. Interpersonal communication also holds the principle that we should challenge the behavior of the other person, as opposed to challenging the person. Therefore, complicated situations should be de-personalized from a personal battle to an opportunity for creativity and learning (Mayer, 2007). The other principle of effective interpersonal communication is that confidentiality should be respected. Therefore, one should develop a feeling of safety, trust, and intimacy by valuing what the other person regards as crucial to themselves. Effective interpersonal communication also has the principle that there may be nothing wrong in making mistakes. Thus, people in a relationship should acknowledge that either or both of them may make mistakes. Mistakes can be regarded as leaning opportunities, avenues for insight and connection instead of opportunities where people should blame each other (Mayer, 2007). Effective interpersonal is not without several misconceptions. One of the misconceptions in effective interpersonal communication encompasses the belief that it solves all problems. Although people may learn to communicate about a problem clearly through interpersonal communication, it may be easy to come with a solution to the problem. The other misconception about interpersonal communication entails the belief that it is always a desired thing. However, may communicate in ways that tend to be deceitful, racist, manipulative, and exploitative. Another misconception that exists regarding effective interpersonal communication is the misconception that interpersonal communication is common sense. If interpersonal communication could entail common sense, people could not be having problems while communicating with one another (Mayer, 2007). Another misconception that people have about interpersonal communication is that it can be equated to interpersonal relationships. The essence of having an interpersonal relationship with a person is not because there is exchange of interpersonal communication. Although it is true that interpersonal communication can result to interpersonal relationships, interpersonal messages do not necessarily lead to an interpersonal relationship. This means that an interpersonal relationship develops a result of intimate exchanges after a certain period. The barriers to effective interpersonal interactions There are several barriers that may act as hindrances to the success of any form of interpersonal interactions. These barriers inhibit the relationship and effective interaction between two people who have an interpersonal relationship. One of the barriers to effective interpersonal communication includes low self esteem, which has a large impact on interpersonal communication. A person may feel that he or she is not worthy, thus lack the courage to express his or her ideas. This may signal a contrasting message from what you want to deliver. For instance, it may be misleading to other people, making them believe that what you mean is what they intended you to tell them. Low self esteem can lead to lack or loss of confidence. Low self esteem leads to feelings of mistrust; a person with low self esteem may be seeking help from others at all times (West & Turner, 2010). Mayer (2007) argues that negative emotions also act as a barrier to effective interpersonal interactions. Failure to release such emotions, especially from past experiences, may continue to hunt a person. Negative emotions may be necessitated by situations showing up in a person’s life, without the conscious recognition of the person they affect. Past emotions should be released, lest they have a strong impact on interpersonal interactions. With negative emotions of previous life experiences, interpersonal communication may be affected since the other person may not know the source of an overreaction of the other party. The other barrier to effective interpersonal interactions entails the lack of commitment. In most cases, this stems from the lack of knowledge on what one wants or the lack of courage to take the necessary actions. The lack of commitment hinders people from communicating effectively, leading to many difficulties in an interpersonal relationship. Without commitment, effective communication becomes difficult as either of the parties may ignore the other or fail to pay attention to what the other says (West & Turner, 2010). The process by which self-concept is developed and maintained. Self concept refers to how a person perceives or thinks about him or herself. Self concept also details how people think about themselves and also evaluate themselves. People who have awareness about themselves can be regarded as having self concept. In addition, self concept may also refer a person’s belief regarding herself or himself; this encompassed the attributes of the person. Psychologists argue that the development of self concept constitutes comprises of two aspects, which include the existential self and the categorical self. The existential self can be regarded as the main constituent of self concept; it entails the sense of being distinct and separate from other people, as well as awareness of self. According to Wood (2012), during the existential self, the child develops the realization that they are separate entities from other people, and they have the capacity to continue existing over time and space. The awareness of the existential self starts when the child is two or three months old; to some extent, this awareness results from how the child relates with the world. For instance, self concept may develop because someone smiles back when the child smiles, or when the child touches something mobile, and it moves. The categorical self, as a process of the development of self concept, arises when the child realizes themselves as objects in the world. The child develops awareness that, as objects, they have properties that can also be experienced. During the categorical self, the child develops the awareness that the self can also be classified in categories, which may include gender, age, skill, or body size. The first categories that children apply include those of gender and age; they can refer to themselves as a boy or as four years old. During early childhood, children tend to apply concrete categories to themselves; these may include height and color of hair. After some time, the description of the self becomes inclusive of psychological characteristics and comparisons with other people (West & Turner, 2010). After its development, self concept is maintained in a number of ways. In order to keep self concept stable, there are a number of psychological and mental inferences as well as attributions involved. One of the ways in which self concept is maintained is by seeing it as a prophecy that is self fulfilling. For instance, a person who sees themselves as caring and kind will be generous in situations of everyday life. This helps in the reinforcement of certain beliefs and self concept. The other process by which self concept is maintained encompasses selective memory (Wood, 2012). In this case, people tend to recall and remember events and show support to their current and modern self concept. For instance, a shy and reserved person will tend to remember when he had a peaceful day, especially a day that he or she had a smile. In addition, people tend to maintain self concept by forgetting the events that were not appealing, which they would wish to forget. Psychologists and other scholars have found selective memory to play a central role in maintaining a consistent, self concept. This stems from the fact that selective memory helps in reinforcing the beliefs of a person about himself. Selective memory does not question the inner beliefs too much, thus leading to a settled self concept that has a lot of comfort. Another way of maintaining self concept is through attribution. This mainly occurs when making excuses while faced with behaviors not consistent with self concept. For instance, a confident and outgoing person may blame situations where they stayed at home alone by justifying that they had a lot to think about and were tired (Wood, 2012). Emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationships Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to identify and adequately and properly, evaluate as well as control a person’s own emotion or the emotion of a group. The other definition of this term can also be the ability to recognize, sense, and integrate personal emotions with the purpose of enhancing thinking, understanding and controlling emotions so as to achieve personal growth and development. Emotional intelligence emanated from the works of Charles Darwin regarding the role played by emotional intelligence in survival. Emotional intelligence makes significant contributions when it comes to effective interpersonal relationships (Carblis, 2008). One of the roles played by emotional intelligence in effective interpersonal relationship is that it helps in the building of relationships that tend to be long lasting. This helps a person to be patient and understand how they can deal with issues and circumstances in life. Through emotional intelligence, it becomes possible to overcome difficulties that have an impact on whether an interpersonal relationship will be successful. Emotional intelligence also plays a crucial role in the understanding of personal feelings, needs, and motivations. As a result, it becomes easier to adopt effective strategies while communicating to the partner. Moreover, emotional intelligence affects the ability to read other people accurately, counter arguments that may arise, and come up with solutions for ill feelings (Carblis, 2008). Emotional intelligence also makes significant contributions in defining an interpersonal relationship. For instance, it defines the relationship between two people who may be in love. During times of dispute, the lovers will depend on emotional intelligence to resolve their differences. At such times, both parties in love should have the ability to be on the top of this emotion and perceive it to make the relationship stronger (Carblis, 2008). Strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts Interpersonal conflicts are inevitable in everyday life; conflicts stem from varying opinions, misunderstandings and miscommunications. If not solved, conflicts can have dire consequences on the interaction between people. As such, there is a need to employ the appropriate strategies that will help in solving conflicts. One of the strategies that can be used to manage interpersonal conflicts includes dealing with it. This stems from the fact that, when conflict is avoided or ignored, it can result to stress, feelings of hostility, anger, and resentment. Dealing with conflicts leads desirable health and happiness, both emotionally and physically. The other strategy for managing interpersonal conflicts includes talking about the conflict face to face. Although face to face communication as a method of managing conflict may tend to be intimidating, it can be regarded as one of the best ways to resolve a misunderstanding. The effectiveness of face-to-face communication emanates from the fact that it creates an avenue that allows the exchange of information actively. The non-verbal cues employed in the face to face communication play an essential role in solving interpersonal conflicts. Another strategy that can be used in resolving conflicts includes apologizing when necessary. Every party should accept their role played in bringing about the conflict, and if a person has gone wrong somewhere, they should acknowledge it and be apologetic (Carter, 2003). A strategy that can also be used to manage conflicts includes the use of a mediator when the need to do so arises. This mostly applies in situations where other efforts and strategies have failed to address the conflict. In such a case, it may be necessary to invite a third party who will act as a mediator and bring peace in the relationship. A mediator is necessary since he or she remains neutral and they objectively listen to both sides of the story with the sole aims of facilitating compromise and conflict resolution (Carter, 2003). Yours Sincerely, David. References Carblis, P. (2008). Assessing Emotional Intelligence: A Competency Framework for the Development of Standards for Soft Skill. New York: Cambria Press. Carter, K. A. (2003). Type me how you feel: Quasi-nonverbal cues in computer-mediated communication. et Cetera, 60(1), 29-39. Mayer, F. (2007). Effective interpersonal communications in a multi-cultural work environment. London: GRIN Verlag. West, R. & Turner, L. H. (2010). Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Choices in Changing Times. London: Cengage Learning. Wood, J. T. (2012). Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters. London: Cengage Learning. Read More