It was very early that I discovered something unusual when I find young men and boys looking at me with deeper meaning in their eyes. I started feeling strange and uncomfortable by someone's intense gaze or meaningful smile while I was entering my teenage. Early teenage interaction with opposite sex assured me of some fiery attraction and bond. Later, Biology class lessons and discussions; television programs; magazines with exposing pictures; books and literature, and socialization led me discover the real meaning and process of sex. At that time, I felt excited but feared by the consequences of doing it in the form of pregnancy.
I was clueless about where “babies come from” until six. One day I heard some kids talking about it in school cafeteria. In utter disbelief, I shared this newly got but awkward information with some of my street friends, few of them came up with similar stories. With more confused than ever ideas in my head, I came back home and talked to my mother about it; she told me that it’s true. I was quite shocked; it was certainly true because my mother was the ultimate source of information. I felt that it is a gross idea and babies can come out by mouth instead, funny idea I know, but that was something popped like popcorn in my mind when I was settling with this phenomenon. I thought but how the kid goes in, an immediate answer was, the way it comes out, but I couldn't give much thought to the later part. I also imagined myself coming out of my mom’s bottom; it seems funny now but was a terrible thought then. Post this information, I became more curious than ever to such information aired on television, magazines, and books. I was aware of the fact that girls and boys are different from my early childhood. I started noticing the differences between male and female body around 7-8 years of age. Whenever I saw a new born without clothes, I naturally observed that boys are different from girls. I felt that little girls have more beautiful body than little boys but boyish thing was interesting for sure. My biology class proved to be the solid fact-checking machine as I could not only read but question whenever I felt confused. After studying the structures and functioning of male and female organs, I was very thrilled. My own changing body and new experiences, such as, periods made me felt like I am transforming into women, ready for a sensual life full of surprises ahead. While I learned about the connection between male and female, I was not able to appreciate my own body. I was interested in what is in outside world. Masturbating was something that came to be naturally and made me realize the beauty and feelings within. Though, I started doing it around the age of 8 or 9 but I was not aware of the fact that I was doing it. I have no clue what it is and why I enjoy touching myself. However, it was not that real masturbating as I used to stick my finger there and move slowly for feeling the sensation or releasing the itch caused by some hard cloth or jeans. I learnt about the “golden moment” (as I refer to orgasm) in my teenage from some dirty magazines where people shared their experiences of