What is Good Sex - Term Paper Example

What is good sex? Sur s Love is the most beautiful of all human emotions. Love motivates people to do the most extreme actions. It stands at the cradle of the greatest creations of human genius, provokes the formation of a variety of talents. All the noble impulses of the heart and soul are committed under the influence of love. Love touches the most delicate strings of the human being, involving both spiritual and sexual components, as they are the parts of the same coin. The association between these components is the essence of true love. Thus, good sex is being important for both men and women. It fills their heart with love and most definitely proves one’s feelings towards another person. Experienced and skilled touch of a partner wouldn’t leave woman a reason to doubt whether she is important for him. Her soul struggles for love, and this desire may be satisfied only by passionate attention and inseparableness of the partner. As for men, most of them see in sex the opportunity to get rid of irritation. Sex allows them to reawaken their passion and affection to the woman. Still, it is widely spread that men cannot understand the main aim of their efforts: they consider female orgasm to be their main purpose and their victory (Henry, 1981). Warm and humid answer of her womb is exciting, electrifying and awakens the deepest fibers of man’s being. The gates of Paradise are opened, he got his way! Woman is satisfied, and it gives a man the reason to feel that she learned everything about his love and paid tribute to his efforts. That is why to get the physical pleasure you need to have a contact with your partners body as much as you want and need, though sometimes it may seem to be the wrong place or intensity or you may think that your partner dont need it. Sometimes we cannot explain our needs and desires to a partner because of the elementary confusion. We are afraid of offending a partner or seeming to be dissolute perverts. Hence the lack of moral satisfaction comes: if we cannot talk to the partner about how we would like to make our sex, we feel offended and receive less pleasure. Gradually, this feeling is being collected and poured into a quarrel, and we (as well as our partner) may be even not aware and conscious about what was the real cause of such misunderstanding (Philpott, 2006). Kiss is one of the key components of sexuality and makes the sex be really good. It is difficult to imagine sexual game without kissing; the touch of the lips often gives a lot more emotions than sex itself. It is considered, that women particularly need kissing, and not only because that gives them pleasure. Physiologically they needed more time to awaken their desires, so kisses help in fueling women’s sexual appetite. But kisses are important for men as well, as it is one of the most exciting elements in an intimate communion between man and woman. And its not just about kissing the lips. The majority of couples come to such point in their relationship, which can be characterized as a crisis in sexual intercourse. Sex comes to happen more rarely, and even if it occurs, it goes casually and routinely, without prior twinkle in eyes (Philpott, 2006). Many people immediately start panic and think its the end of the relationship. This is plainly wrong. Everything changes, and sexual attraction isn’t exception. Stress, fatigue, conflict are completely natural factors for a reduction in sexual intercourse. For two intelligent people who love each other the problem of sexual relations is only a temporary stage of their relationship and nothing more. Any problem can be solved by mutual efforts. First thing what you need to do is to get a clear understanding that libido cannot remain on the same level throughout the whole life. Therefore it is necessary to remember that sex is an art. It is not necessary to believe into romantic novels and movies which depict men and women as perfect lovers. In reality they are not like that: even the most beautiful, athletic and well-educated people from time to time have problems with sex. And they also are being broken apart for the sake of others. That is why it is important to study the basics of high-quality sex. Improvement in sexual life of already established couples do not always happen quickly. It is much easier to do with a new sexual partner. And if you can give joy of quality sex to your loved one, youll become the best lover in one’s life. Your partner will quickly realize that you are indispensable. In many cultures the art of sex is being learned since very childhood. Nowadays the same trend is being observed in the USA: while people are getting more understanding of the importance of good sex in their lives, more attention is being paid on early sexual education of children and adolescents. Books, stories, and presentations about the sexual life, as well as comprehensive sex education in schools are not only important in terms of overcoming early pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases among adolescents. It is also necessary for normal psychological development of teenagers, as since their age of early 12-13 years they are entering a difficult period of trying to be “normal”. Thus it also may prevent their mistaken decisions to become sexually intimate in a wrong way or with not a proper person (Shulevitz, 2006). Such courses introduce to teenagers real values of intimate life. In other case they may think that real-life intercourse should be like in pornography – when “the partner is eager to do any position you want” (Abraham, 2011). Such impression is mistaken and inculcates false values to a conscious seeking for new answers and experience. There are also psychological prerequisites for achievement good sex as well. One should never use sex as a tool of manipulation in order to gain own benefit. Generally manipulation will turn against the manipulator, as he will be inevitably replayed by own partner, children, friends, or friends. Sooner or later manipulator would lose (Belliotti, 1993). Besides abovementioned, there are some inalienable terms which are worth learning to gain good sexual relationship. First of all, sex cannot be good for both partners without mutual agreement. Men and women can freely and comfortably choose whether to join or not the sex, as well as they can stop any time during sexual intercourse. Secondly, a sense of personal power should be on an equal level between partners: no domination of one over the other is allowed (if it is not part of the script sex play by mutual consent). Thirdly, you should feel respect to your partner (which means a positive attitude towards yourself and your partner, as well as a sense of respect from the partner). Physical and emotional trust between partners is important as well. You should have mutual recognition and the ability to respond to the sensitivity of the partner. All that will give the sense of safeness and security in a sexual situation: you won’t need to pay attention on where, when and how the sexual activity takes place. In addition, it also may be gained with the feeling of safeness from unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections and physical traumas (Philpott, 2006). Serious mistakes in sexual education often may lead to such peculiarities as a victim complex or desire for masochistic practices. But not always the desire for sexual experimentations is a consequence of mental aberration. Practicing something new in sex makes a relationship be deep, diverse and sensual, thus helps to keep the sexual tension. Places and ways of sexual experimentations can be very different. The main thing is to stipulate or to hint about this to your partner in advance. But in any case it is important to feel the borders between healthy sexual games and the development of fetishes or other psychopathology. It is important to focus on maintaining and strengthening the depth of relationship with a partner, to disclose it, to learn and develop each other. Married couples must also remember that their children subconsciously read the picture of their parents’ relationship, which means that sexual harmony between their mother and father affects their future life. Finally, I have to admit that for some people good sex cannot be measures in a number of orgasms per night, while for others good sex means hot sex with a great level of intimacy. After all attempts to define great sex I understood that there is no possibility to find out the only explanation of how it is like, though any way there would be some common features in each definition. Happy sexual life turns to be not only an evidence of the passion between a woman and a man, but also a powerful factor in creation of long-term relationship. Pleasurable sex fills our hearts with love as well as it meets all our emotional needs. Good sex helps a person to feel more self-confident in the relationship and increases the level of self-esteem. References Abraham, L. (November 16, 2011). Teaching Good Sex. The New York Times Magazine. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/20/magazine/teaching-good-sex.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1& Belliotti, R. A. (1993). Good Sex: Perspectives on Sexual Ethics. University Press of Kansas. Henry, A. (1981). Good sex, bad sex. Off Our Backs, 11.9, 18-19. Philpott, A., Wendy, K., & Boydell, V. (2006). Pleasure and Prevention: When Good Sex Is Safer Sex. Reproductive Health Matters, 14.28, 23-31. Shulevitz, J. (August 27, 2006). Teach Your Children Well. The New York Times Magazine. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/27/books/review/Shulevitz.t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 Read More