Guess Whos Coming to Dinner - Essay Example

Interpersonal Paper Guess who’s coming to Dinner Guess who’s coming to Dinner A Review College Interpersonal Paper 2 Guess who’s coming to Dinner Guess who’s coming to Dinner A Review of Literature and Film Clip Listening and responding to others has a major role to play in good communication and as such, satisfy their own purposes in life. People communicate with each other for getting information across, for learning and evaluating purposes, for listening and observation purposes or for mere enjoyment or recreation. However, it is a well known fact, that no two people listen, communicate or respond in the same way, and we know that it is true because research in the field has proved that it is so. According to (Bodie et al. 2013) as cited in (Keaton SA) in the article Listening Goals and Communication, the skill of listening represents four distinct “goals that listeners have when engaged in situations that call them to be a particular kind of listener. Communication, which includes both listening and responding comprises of specific styles depending on the depth of listening of any individual because they are closely connected to the goals or outcomes. In this essay, different concepts and styles of listening and responding will be discussed but with a main focus on the relational and analytical style by using examples from the film Guess who’s coming to Dinner. Summary Guess who’s coming to Dinner (1967) is a poignant family drama that is so passionately knitted together in the fabric of human emotions. The film clip I have Interpersonal Paper 3 Guess who’s coming to Dinner chosen to discuss is a heated argument between a father and his son, bringing out the kind of relationship they share. The father is Roy Glenn Sr., while his son is the enigmatic Sidney Poitier and his mother is Beah Richards. The primary themes in the film revolve around the relationships shared between father and son, father and daughter and husband and wife. Tracy and Hepburn are a liberal minded couple and have brought up their daughter, Katherine Houghton, to be open- minded and think for herself instead of conforming to conventional norms. However, they were not prepared for the huge shock that awaited them, when she returned from her vacation with a new fiancé, Poitier who was an African American doctor. The parents of the bride and groom are prejudiced and unable to accept this fact. Their interpersonal communication has barriers which they find difficult to break down or cross. For each of them, the situation holds a different meaning and though they communicate with each other, they were not actually hearing the other person’s point of view. Concepts and theories of Communication Communication has a two pronged approach which is listening and responding. According to (Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S. J., Ivy, 2010, p. 128), the styles are not limited to any particular group and as such can be used by anyone. Among the different skills of listening, ‘Relational Listening’ (RL) concerns with either enjoyment or understanding the stress of the other Interpersonal Paper 4 Guess who’s coming to Dinner person and lending an empathetic ear. In ‘Analytical Listening’ (AL) the listener engages in ‘systematic thinking’ and ‘information processing’ before coming to conclusions. (Bodie, Worthington, et al., 2013; Study 2) This type of listening skill tends to make the individual exhibit a sort of sensitivity towards the other person’s feelings and emotions. In the chosen film, Guess who’s coming to Dinner, we find both these skills of listening being used by the father and son, which are discussed below. Theory, Model or Concept put into practice In the chosen film clip from Guess who’s coming for Dinner, (1967) director Stanley Kramer, highlights the depth of conversation and emotions that flow between the father and son, engaged in a heated argument. There is a clear generation gap between them and this is the major barrier that comes between them and prevents them from actually listening to each other. Poitier’s father is unable to comprehend what is being said, being the stereotypical father that he is. He is unable to accept that his son has grown into a man and has his own ways of thinking and making decisions. He is dead against the fact that his son decided to marry a white girl and in his conversation to him, he tries to explain about the difficulties and struggles he had faced in providing him with the best. This point is clearly seen when Poitier’s father states – “You know I had to work my ass off to get the money to buy you all the chances you had.” In normal Interpersonal Paper 5 Guess who’s coming to Dinner circumstances, I don’t think he would throw up such things to his son. In the first part of the film clip of ‘Guess who’s coming to Dinner’ where the father reprimands and appeals to his son for his actions, the listening skill he uses is relational skill’ where the focus is on the relationship they shared. Poitier’s stance in the film Guess who’s coming to Dinner, is one that clearly shows the generation gap between his father and himself, as he struggles to explain to him that his advice or decisions don’t hold good in his generation. He emphasizes the fact that he has his own ways of dealing with things. He makes use of in-the-face dialogue to send his message across to his father, who tries hard to hold on to the ancient tradition of father controlling his son and the son succumbing to the pressure from his father. The sentence that Poitier uses to stop his father in his tracks is – “Let me tell you something, I owe you nothing. If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you were supposed to do.” (Sydney Poitier, 1967) Poitier employs his ‘Relational Listening’ skills in retaliation to what his father spoke and we know this because he stares straight into his father’s eyes and tries to find the underlying meaning of his words, thereby showing the close relationship they shared. However, in the last part of the film clip, the mood in the room changes to a more softer tone. While his father looks shell- shocked and transfixed by what his son told him, we understand from his body language that he accepts it. From Poitier’s body language, Interpersonal Paper 6 Guess who’s coming to Dinner stance and gestures, we understand the non-verbal communication that takes place between the two, as they silently look into each others eyes. At this point, both father and son employ their ‘Analytical Listening’ skills because they try to understand each other in a more deeper sense. We understand this, when we see him draw back from his lashing words, soften towards his father and smiles because he understands that he loved him so much and he in return reciprocates his love by addressing him as ‘Dad’ and expressing that he loved him so much too and will always love him. This exemplary scene in Guess who’s coming to Dinner, shows that even though there is a wide generation gap between the father and son, yet this boundary is crossed by the deep understanding, respect and love they have for each other, despite the bitter circumstances. Though the communication between the two of them hit home, yet it was the subtle non- verbal expressions and meanings that drew them together and encouraged them to understand each other. Through all the misunderstanding and bitterness, both of them were capable of communicating their feelings and emotions towards each other. References Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S. J., Ivy, D. K. (2010). Communication Principles for a Lifetime (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson Learning Solutions. Graham .D. Bodie and Villaume. (2013) cited in Keaton SA. Listening Goals and Communication. Interpersonal Communication Consultant .pg. 86. Web. Accessed in May 2014 www.researchgate.net Guess who’s coming to Dinner (1967) Web. Retrieved on 4th May 2014 www.imdb.com/ Read More