Conflict and Plan for Improvement - Essay Example

My strengths in handling conflict lies in being able to control my emotions and avoiding fights especially if it only involves petty things. Just recently, someone threw a cup of water on my windshield while I was driving. I have to admit that the incident roused my anger but I was able to control a sudden burst since I realized that it was just a minor thing. Further, nothing good will really come out if I confront the culprit. I simply assumed that they had nothing better to do and if I engaged in their provocation then they will just get the very thing they want in the first place, a pointless altercation. Thus, I would think that I am logical when dealing with conflict. Whenever I am faced with a situation that is a sure way to start a bigger conflict, I first try to look at the intent of the other person. I believe that we first have to look at the intent of a person when they do an act because miscommunications often lead to disagreements. The context of the situation and how a person says something or relays his thought must be considered before we react. I think that I am objective when dealing with conflict. There are times when I could be prone to outbursts especially if I am not in a particularly good mood prior to the conflict. When I am not feeling well or I have problems in other aspects of my life, I cannot help but to be irritated easily with other matters. I also noticed that I am prone to snap in certain situations like when I’m hungry. I could be passive aggressive that I sometimes make it seem that I am okay when I’m not. In these situations, I burst out when I become fed up and it becomes harder for me to let go of issue. I stand by my point to the extent that I cannot let it go until the other person affirms my belief. I am not one to easily get mad but once I do, it becomes harder for me to listen to other people’s point of view. People in my life affirm that I do not easily get mad but my mom says that I have a tendency to be emotional. Nevertheless, I am able to say sorry and acknowledge my guilt even when I was little. She says that when I would get mad I would throw things but afterwards I will tidy things up when my anger has already subsided. Friends also say that I could be moody when I have other problems but it’s easy to calm me down with a few jokes and stories to distract with. My friend says I am very vocal when there is something that displeases me but it does not mean I will immediately do something about it. When it comes to the entire group I could be counted on to be the least bias when there is conflict within us. PLAN FOR IMPROVEMENT Goal No.1 Learn to Breathe First This is the first goal I would like to work on to improve my outlook to be able to effectively resolve conflicts that I may be involved in or those involving others. By first stopping to breathe whenever I am faced with a dilemma I will be able to control by emotions so that I will not burst out and do or say things that I might later on regret. This will allow me to take into consideration the things as they happen before I react. A pause, even if only for a short while, will let me gather my thoughts first before I am overcome by emotions and react by spur of the moment. Learning to breathe and following other exercises such as counting in my head before saying something should develop my self-control in different situations. Goal No.2 Listen Listening is also an important skill that o should develop through this course. Oftentimes it is difficult for me to listen to the side of others because I could be stubborn when I want to prove a point. I sometimes have an ‘it’s my way or the highway’ attitude that could alienate others and also lead to bigger conflicts. I could be headstrong when I am set on my own notions or ideas of an issue that there is virtually nothing that could persuade me to see it any other way. Many of the worst fights I have had in my life stems from the fact that I do not want to listen. When someone is explaining their side of the argument and I am already at the peak of my anger, the things that they are saying just passes through me. Listening could do so much for me to be able to look at the bigger picture and realize that there are other opinions that must be considered aside from my own. Goal No.3 Empathize with Others This goes hand in hand with listening because one must not only stop at listening but also understand that they have their own opinions on certain matters. further, they may have other problems that they are going through. Like I said that I could be moody when there are other things bothering me that it is easier for me to snap others, I must also reflect that other people may be going through the same thing. This may explain why they are acting the way they do and I must consider these things to avoid prolonging the conflict. Understanding is a key element in any relationship to be stronger. Objectivity comes from looking at all aspects of the conflict. Goal No.4 Look at the Larger Picture When I am overwhelmed by emotions that there seems to be no other way for me to do but to say the first thing that comes into my mind or go into a fit, I must keep in mind that there is a larger picture. This means that I must first envision the effects that could come from my words or my actions. Also, I must contemplate on whether I mean what I say and know for certain that I am prepared for the consequences that they may bring. There are words that when we have already said them there is no more turning back. The certainty of how others will react is not something that I can control but what I say is something that is within my resolve. The strain that could result to being insensitive in times of conflict can be irreparable. Sometimes, even if we are already forgiven there is no guarantee that the other person will ever forget the words that we have said or that they will forgive us for it. I must always think first before I act and I hope to work on this. Goal No.5 Learn to Apologize Apologies have always been hard for me. I don’t get angry easily but once I do there is no telling how I react. Thereafter, I seldom apologize because I feel that I am entitled to my response. But saying sorry is perhaps the most important part of resolving any conflict. Knowing that the other person resents what he has done is a sign of willingness to move forward and to forget whatever problem was previously in place. The best resolution on any conflict is the realization that mistakes have been made and that one has to be responsible for their own actions. Apologizing to me is significant in showing that I acknowledge that I may have been wrong and I regret acting the way I did. But even if I may not be the one at fault, apologizing is a sign of being the bigger person and a willingness to move forward. Read More