The relationship between mother and daughter in Amy Tans Two Kinds - Research Paper Example

The short story; “Two Kinds” is the final installment of Amy Tan’s collection of stories d the Joy Luck Club; the book is segmented into four sections with and each of these holds an autonomous story (Becerra 1). Two Kinds is and examinations of the relationship between mothers and daughters and the complexities and conflicts that can ensure especially if both of them come from different backgrounds. The social cultural setting centers around a mother who was born and brought up in the pre-communist China but who is currently living in America and explicably alienated form her native culture. The daughter on the other hand is a child of American cultural environment and she is forced to maneuver between double burden of her Chinese heritage and the expectations of American life from both herself and her mother (Wise, and Da Silva). The protagonist is the author and the antagonist is her real mother since the story is a factual account of Tans life in the 50s and 60s as she grew up in China town. Tans mother desires greatly for her daughter to be a child prodigy and excel in many fields ranging from academics, music and games so that she may have a good life in America and covertly because she (The mother) wishes to be envied by her friends for having a talented child. To this end, she tries to make Tan take up several interests and pushes her, often too hard, to make sure she excels (Ghymn 152). She is particularly jealous of her neighbor’s child who is and talented musician and compels Tam to take up piano lessons so she may compete with Lindo through her daughter. However as the story develops, Tan grows resentful of her mother’s attitude and the pressure she is exerting upon her to perform even when she is clearly not exceptionally talented. It affects her self-esteem and she becomes confused and torn between which interests are closest to her heart, hers or he mother’s (Duke). She gradually starts to sabotage her mother’s agenda by not taking her piano practice seriously, since she felt she was doing it for her mother not herself and ends up humiliating both herself, and her mother. She later comes to admit, with the benefit of hindsight, that the reason she never performed as well as her mother had wanted was not because of her having or lacking talent but because she deliberately under performs to spite her mother. Largely, Tan is successful in defining the complex relationship between mothers and daughters by presenting her interactions when she was a young girl. The misunderstandings, conflict and finally what appears to be an epiphany at the end in which she admits that she was probably too rebellious and spiteful of her mother help the reader to see into the complexities that characterize the relationship. The story is a reflection of the different perceptions that parents from various different cultures have about the right way to bring up children. Coming from a Chinese background, Tam’s mother is trying to apply the parenting method of putting pressure on a child without regard for what they want, which was largely the case in conservative China at the time. Even today, Chinese parenting culture is radically different from what one finds in the west especially America, this is exemplified in and essay written by Army Chua “Why Chinese mothers are superior”. However, it is not so much the content of the article but the reaction of American parents to it that underscores the momentous difference in parenting skills between the US and China. Chua describes how she ensured her daughters excel in school by putting them on inflexible schedules, banning TV, sleepovers and other leisure activities that American parents take for granted (Amy). She did all she could; insulting, shouting and even screaming at them until they became straight A students, for American parents, if the outrage following the article is anything to go by, this is unacceptable and tantamount to child abuse. From this examples, one notices a parallel between Chua and Tans mother, both parents who bore elements of Chinese upbringing not only found it acceptable but necessary to drive their daughters as her as they could in the quest to ensure they became child prodigies (Amy). From both of those scenarios the relationship between mother and daughters is illuminated particularly from an Chinese American context and one is forced to ask why it that mothers specifically are the ones driving their daughters so hard, where are the men and how come they do not take part in this motivation? According to Tan, her father was present in much of her childhood there but he played a role and let his wife dominate the child’s upbringing despite the fact that she was mentally unbalanced and suicidal (Gee 85). Recounting her childhood, Tam says her mother had tried to kill herself severally at one point even threatened her with a knife. For some reason, the Chinese mothers feels compelled to take responsibility for her daughter’s success and takes it upon herself to “help” her along regardless of what it takes, however these extremes can sometimes sour the relationships as was evinced in tans case. In Chua’s case, the story is only told from the mother’s perspective and even though the daughters do become prodigies, the reader never gets to know if they appreciated the way their mother treated them. This is especially because despite their Chinese heritage, they are essentially American children; culturally speaking, they no doubt they had a hard time dealing with the realities in their home which probably differed from their peers’. Tan’s relationship with the mother suffered when she was a child but clearly from her musings later in the book as she reflects on her past with the benefit of hindsight, she seems to develop a mellow attitude towards her mother and somewhat appreciates that she was doing what she thought was best. Chua’s daughters, if they feel their mother’s way of bringing them up was effective are likely to apply the same techniques to their children, clearly the love practiced between girls and their female parents is what is normally referred to as “hard love”. It is difficult to explain or rationalize the bonds since they seem to persist even when an outsider would imagine the conflict is too much for a healthy relationship to prosper. This is especially underscored in the last parts of Two Kinds when Tan seem to regret taking her mother’s actions for granted although the disinterested reader might still hold that her mother had been unfair and selfish. Cultural racial and ethnic differences heavily influence parenting and this is established in a study carried out by Paul Spicer from the University of Oklahoma. The study found that black, white and Hispanic parents adopted radically different approaches when it came to parenting (Spicer 28). For example, it was found that African American and Hispanic parents were less inclined to discuss feelings with children or express them to express their emotions than white parents. In the same way, Chinese parents especially mothers seem disinclined to consider their daughters opinions and feelings in regard to academics and favor the idea of pushing them as hard as possible towards success (Zhou 30). This is because in the Chinese culture, parents tend to override their children’s preferences since the pandering to a child’s desires and wants and desires is seen as act of futility. This radically contrasts with majority of American parents who take a very liberal approach to parenting and encourage their children to express themselves and follow their dreams. To Chinese mothers like Chua and Tans mum, the only dream that should be followed is one that leads them to academic success so they can secure a good college and eventually a good job. Further, it is possible that the reason Chinese mothers drive their children so hard is not only because of the culture but also as a way for them to get a from foundation in America which to some of the parents is still a foreign land especially if they were born in China. This is permissible since when one migrates from one culture to another, the experience is often confusing and they are often torn between their loyalty to their original culture and the practicability of adapting to the new culture (Amlani). The ensuring conflict with their children is motivated by the fact that the latter are incapable of understanding the parental motivation as the have always seen themselves as Americans since they have never been immersed in Chinese culture. In conclusion, at the end of the day, after a closely reading of the story and comparing it’s content with other texts relating to the subject of motherhood and different cultural approaches to parenting one must admit that Two kinds is a powerful and insightful expose of identity and community issues in post 20th century America. Evidently, what some Chinese parents may call good parenting may appear too strict to the American ones and the vice versa since the Asian parents deem American ones too permissive. Tan’s story and life is an expression of the sensitive aspect of the culturally and ethnically diverse America where different cultural assumptions are put to play in the process of parenting each justified by a preexisting set of beliefs (Berent 13). Works Cited Amlani, Alzak. "Honoring your culture; Shifting your Culture". Cross-Cultural: An integral Approach to Diversity. The Wholeness Therapy, 2001. Web, November 16, 2013.< http://www.wholenesstherapy.com/public/cultural.htm > Becerra, Cynthia S. "Two Kinds." Masterplots II: Short Story Series, Revised Edition; January 2004, p1-2. Berent, Natalie. "The Preserved Power of the mother-daughter relationship". ESSAI: Vol. 5, Article 10. Chua, Amy. "Why Chinese Mothers are superior". The Wall Street Journal: Life and Culture. January 8, 2011. Web. November 16, 2013. < http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754> Duke, Lynne. "The Secrets Silence Holds." The Washington Post, March 15, 2001, p. C1. Gee, Alison Singh. "A Life on the Brink." People Weekly 55, no 18, May 7, 2001: 85-88.. Ghymn, Esther Mikyung. "Critical readings: Mothers and Daughters". Critical Insights: The Joy Luck Club: 2010, p145-172, Spicer, Paul. "Cultural Influences on Parenting." Zero to Three, March 2010. Web. Nov 8, 2013.< http://main.zerotothree.org/site/DocServer/Spicer0310_2.pdf > Wise, Sarah and Da Silva, Lisa. "Differential parenting of children from diverse cultural backgrounds attending child care". Australian Institute of Family Studies, April 2007,Web. Nov 8, 2013. < http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/rp39/rp39.html> Zhou, Min. "Contemporary Chinese America: Immigration, Ethnicity, and Community Transformation." In Asian American History and Culture. Philadelphia, PA: Temple Univ. Press. 2009.. Read More