The words and phrases that suggested this to me were most prominently, “she realized that there was nothing left of her - not even those pictures!” and then later, “’Who would even believe that I, Aleksanda, existed with all the gaiety of life - when there isnt anything or anyone to say so!’” In these regards, it’s clear that Aleksanda felt intense personal loss at losing the pcitures.
I woke up today and walked to the couch. When I sat down I remembered the day before. My girlfriend of two years had informed me that she didn’t want to see me anymore. To make things worse she told me that she had been seeing someone else behind my back. The emotional pain was powerful and sharp. The worst part was the feeling of it not being there, and then remembering the day before and the heartache blindsiding me like a truck on a foggy and rainy day.
It’s now a month later and the emotional pain is still with me. It’s not as sharp as before, but it’s still powerful. I think I’ve just learned to expect the experience and have found ways of coping with the stress. It’s hard to describe, but it’s somewhere between intense regret and simple existential