Wedded Strangers: the Challenges of Russian American Marriages - Book Report/Review Example

What seems a perfectly normal arrangement all those years, turn out to be a menacing and demanding one, once a man and a woman enters matrimony. If this is the case for people who fall in love and get married, imagine people marrying total strangers from a completely different background than theirs. “Wedded strangers: the challenges of Russian-American marriages”, the famous book by Lynn Visson deals with this subject with lots and lots of actual examples. When the book was first published in 1998, the author was overwhelmed by the response she got.

In fact, Lynn had put in so much effort into all the main chapters covering the cultural differences between the Russians and the Americans. She had talked to hundreds of Russian-American married and divorced couples to gather the data shared in the book. The writer herself is a lady of American origin who married a Russian man. She put her Harvard P.hd to use by writing this book to help others wondering what went wrong in their well planned multi-cultural marriage. Marrying strangers isn’t a new practice in Eastern countries like India, China, and Indonesia etc.

Most of the marriages in those countries are arranged by parents and relatives. But, the bride and the groom hail from similar economic and ethical backgrounds in such cases. The marriages are mostly comfortable instead of lovable. The idea of American men seeking Russian brides is also similar to this. But, what they fail to notice is the vast cultural difference. It is perfectly fine for an American man to call his mother-in-law by name, hug her and have drink with her. The reaction will spark fiery reactions in an ethnic Russian family.

The author Lynn Visson put explores many such subtle issues in her book. She emphasizes, Russian girls agree to marry American men in hope of getting a much free and lavish lifestyle. The American lad takes her hand in marriage hoping she will be the ideal, housewife without any feminism or shopaholic streak. Both have different dreams and the marriage starts to fall apart the moment they realize this. The beauty of the Russian girls and the money of the American men which blinded these inner expectations come to light in a short while from marriage.

That’s when the problem starts. The author uses several anecdotes in her book. She explains how the dating agencies connecting the spinsters and bachelors from both the countries act as money raving machines, hooking up anybody with anyone for the sake of commission. Several young people fall prey to their massive money making paws losing their life and wealth in the name of matrimony. While it is quite hard for two lovers who have dated ages to live together under one roof, it is perfectly an uphill bike ride for people of two completely different race and culture to make the marriage work.

The author suggests careful analysis is necessary to make these marriages work. In a way she condemns such comfort aiming marriages. She wants her book to be a guide for people who have naturally fallen in love with Russian spouses and are coping hard to understand their mannerisms. The author seems a bit stuck up in time as most of the chapters do not represent the modern changes sweeping Moscow and other Russian countries. She still portrays Russian youngsters as highly conservative people, failing to acknowledge the sweeping westernization in those countries.

This makes the book a little alienated from the reality. One abstract from the book says the citizens of both the countries are like aliens from a different planet Saturn and Uranus (Kirkus Reviews). Nevertheless, she mentions they can make the relationship work, if the couple expects less from each other and show real effort to love and understand each ones background.