Conflicts Between Mother and Child in Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been - Research Paper Example

Connie is a very beautiful girl and her mother is very worried about her daughter since the mother thinks that Connie concentrates too much on her beauty and does nothing around the house (Oates, and Elaine, 24).  Connie’s father is busy most of the time at work and when he is home he does not interact with his two children, therefore Connie has little attachment to his father. Connie is always in conflict with her mother and she, therefore, yearns to be an independent girl so that no one bothers with her life.
Oates and Lee affirm that Connie is always concerned with her physical appearance and most of her time is spent grooming herself. She argues with her mother and sister often. Connie’s mother was once beautiful but due to her, the beauty has faded away, but Connie has this beauty that her mother once had (67). The conflict arises when Connie spends much time admiring herself in the mirror and comparing herself to other people to make sure that hers was alright. When Connie’s mother notices this she scolds her daughter about it saying, “Stop gawking at you. Who are you? You think you are so pretty?” Connie would often raise eyebrows about it and wonder why her mother was always furious about it, yet she was once beautiful like her daughter as depicted by the pictures in the photo album.
Steinberg states that moral values are not considered vital and are not conveyed to Connie in their middle-class family setup (72). Connie’s parents seem quite typical and lack the qualifications of an amoral guide to their daughter. No one in Connie’s life can serve as a role model, which makes Connie live a life of her own where no one is present to give her directions in life. Her mother always compares Connie to her elder sister and the mother wants Connie to emulate her sister, June, who is plain and simple. The mother forgets that everyone is unique with distinct characteristics, thus this push by Connie’s mother is trying to make Connie live a life that she is not creating a conflict between. In the story, the names of both parents are not indicated, which clearly shows the lack of identity powerlessness, and weakness. Generally the American middle-class is depicted in a negative connotation shown clearly when the father of Connie’s friend goes to pick Connie and her friends from the plaza and never bothers to ask them what they had done during their time out at the plaza (Steinberg, 74).
Oates and Elaine point out that the conflict between Connie and her mother resulted in a rebellion by Connie (28). She was always against what was told her, for example, one Sunday when the family went for a barbecue at their aunt’s house, Connie chose to stay behind and wash her hair. With Connie’s mother always complaining about one thing or the other, Connie found it difficult to cope up with and she decided to spend much time with her friends at the mall. The outcome of Connie’s search for independence has a brutal outcome in that Arnold Friend arrives and yanks Connie out of her childhood escapades. The things that Arnold tells Connie to indicate the search that Connie has been critically looking for. Arnold Friend tells Connie, “I’m your lover. You don’t know what that is but you will.” Arnold represents all the fears and confusions that Connie experiences as an adolescent.
The conflict that exists between Connie and her mother is seen to be caused by the lack of guidance and role models in the life of Connie since the father is too preoccupied with work that he does not find time to spend with her children. Her mother, on the other hand, keeps on comparing Connie with her sister June who is simple and plain. This creates discontent on Connie’s part since she does not feel appreciated by the family, yet this same family is what Connie depends upon. The conflict in this family setup can only be solved if there is unity in the family and respect for every individual where everyone is appreciated the way they are despite their weaknesses. Read More