The Mother-Daughter Relationship in Historical or National or Cultural Tensions - Essay Example

THE MOTHER/DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP IS A VEHICLE FOR THE TO EXPLORE LARGER HISTORICAL OR NATIONAL OR CULTURAL TENSIONS." By Course University City Date The relationship between a daughter and mother has been a complex affair especially with the development of Technology. The relationship is clearly demonstrated by Amy Tan in The Joy Luck club and Maxine Hong Kinston in The Woman Warrior. Amy Tan explores the life of four women who migrate from China to America. In the book Suyuan Woo talks about "The Joy Luck Club" –an organization started by Chinese women during the perilous times of Second World War, where they were taught "to desire nothing, to swallow other peoples misery, and to eat (their) own bitterness." (p.241). Amy Tan focuses on the dreams, expectations and the hopes that the Chinese immigrants have. The immigrants find it difficult to adapt to the relatively dynamic and modern world hence the constant resistance when it comes to dealing with a new culture. The Chinese-Americans of the second generation are in particular ashamed and resist their heritage. In the beginning, the mothers and their daughters in the worst of terms but eventually the daughters will realize that their mothers all along wanted not the worst but the best for them. Women in the book are depicted as having outstanding characteristics. An-Meis mother who had been not there when her daughter needed her most was later remarried as a concubine to Wu-Tsing. However it was a shameful act to remarry according to the Chinese culture once one was widowed. When-An Mei later meets her mother she learns so much from her. She was brought up with much emphases placed on the need to wear descent clothes in presence of her family. When her Popo passed away An-Mei lived with her mother and her husband. An-Mei later would die from overdosing on opium. Rose would later have the devotion to take care after her siblings. The marriage of Rose to Jordan is on the rocks because of leaving all the decisions to be made by Jordan. She later thinks that the thought of American people is very complicated and to some extent do not make sense just like she had been taught by her mother. In the process of getting their divorce, she stands for herself and claims to retain the ownership of the garden and the house. She thinks of the garden to be having the freedom that she had lacked. These Chinese mothers were all taught to have a certain level of respect for their elders and keep promises made to any member of a family to the point of even sacrificing their own lives. However their daughters "can promise to come to dinner, but no longer has the promise if she wants to watch a favorite movie on TV" (p.42). The difference between the two generations is clearly shown towards the end of the book. Lindo Jong describes the incompatibility and complete difference between the two worlds she had tried to connect for Waverly, her daughter, who barely knows any four Chinese words. It was relatively easier for Waverly to accept the circumstances in America and grow up like other American citizens. Lindo Jong, however, wanted her daughter to understand the importance of the Chinese character that she considered important. She had tried to teach her daughter "How to obey her parents and listen to her mothers care. How not to show her own thoughts, put her feelings behind her face so as to take advantage of any hidden opportunities…How to know her worth and polish it, never flashing it around like a cheap ring."(p. 289) However, the daughters who are born in America do not grasp on to the traits that are preferred by their mothers as the book shows, and they are diametrically opposite their Chinese parents. They never respected for their Chinese heritage or real respect for the elderly. In the end, they turn to be completely different from what their parents had desired of them. The daughters assume that they have gained independence from their mothers merely by pushing away everything that they think they are taught by their mothers. Jing-Mei angrily says, "I wont let her change me, I promised myself. I wont be what I am not."(p.144).The daughters do not take into account that sometimes we do not know who we want to be or who we are. Lena appears to have certainly suffered due to her mothers absence during the time she needed her most during her development. She speaks of "... Unspoken terrors that surrounded their house, the ones that chased her mother until she hid in a secret dark corner of her mind. Moreover, still they found her. She watched, over the years, as they devoured her, piece by piece until she disappeared and became a ghost."(P.105) The outrageous reactions of the daughters emanates from their belief that their mothers have low levels of intelligence as shown by their limited English and the social pressures of the predominant Americans that tend to assimilate the immigrants. When Suyuan pressures Jing-Mei to practice piano even after her poor recital, Jing Mei shouts back at her wishing she was not her daughter and Suyuan was not her mother (Luck 153). Jing-Mei is unwilling to understand her and instead resorts to hostile rejection. This aspect of rejection appears to be the American culture which does not adhere to the tolerance to linguistic and cultural differences. Suyuan has been brought up in a dissimilar society and her limited use of English language hinders the way she communicates with her daughter. The social tension forms the basis for misunderstanding and the accompanying confrontations. The mothers have discovered that it is high time they set the daughters on the right course. Later some daughters would make sense of the right intentions that their mothers had. Suyuan Woo and Kwan Lis stories prove to be a valuable aid that Jing-Mei and Olivia use to understand their cultural values. The mothers discover that the art of storytelling is the most effective way that the message can penetrate the minds and hearts of their daughters. (Shen 240). The heritage that had been passed from mother to daughter in China and then later passed to the daughters in America no longer seemed old fashioned and more sense could be generated from them, The mothers yearned for their daughters to understand the hardships that the daughters would face because of their gender since "…nobody will say that their worth is measured by how loud her husbands belch is…".The daughters accept and identify with their parents after connecting the past of their parents through the stories. The difference in culture shows the frustration experienced when raising children in a society that is different from the parents. Lindo says she wanted her children to have the best combination of Chinese character and American circumstances."…How could I know that these two things do not mix…".After being told not to throw her unfinished coffee by her mother lest she throws her blessings away, Waverly thinks that her mother is so old fashioned (p.290). The association amidst a mother and the daughter is strained by the fact that Waverly does not want to be like her mother though Lindo preferred to be like her own mother. In China women are taught that it is more honorable for a woman to be like her own mother who is contrary to the American society where the mother is blamed for anything that is wrong with the daughter and, therefore, the daughters prefer to be their own person. The Chinese women are trained culturally to be submissive. Girls were normally groomed to be respectful and quiet to maintain the respect of their families. Ying-Ying regrets raising her daughter and accepted her American ways. Her daughter is her greatest shame. She says that." She is the daughter of a ghost. She has no chi. how can I leave the world without leaving her my soul? She will fight me because that is the nature of two tigers. However I will win and give her my soul, because that is the way a mother loves her daughter."(p.286). Subsequent to the death of Suyuan, Jing-Mei later learns that Suyuan had to abandon her twin daughters as she fled to Shanghai during invasion of China by Japanese. Her visit to China in order meet the underlying the babies her mother had longed to find, she clearly understands that her mother all along was for their best. "My mothers long cherished wish. The younger sister who was supposed to be the essence of others." (p.323).The respect for family, Chinese thought and mothers love for her daughters become more vivid in the mind of Jing-Mei. The three sisters feel the connecting element of their mothers soul when they meet for the first time. "And now I see that part of me is Chinese. all these years, it can finally be let go."(p.331). Jing-Mei comes to understanding the meaning of her mothers teachings. Similarly, the other women of Joy Luck Club live with the hope that their teachings will be understood and followed by their daughters. Jing-Mei is able now to come to terms with her mothers perspective and reconcile the conflict with her ancestry. She finally declares that " …when the struggles and battles are over and the daughter is mature enough to accept her mother and recognize what she stood for, what was formerly a hateful bondage reveals itself as a cherished bond" (Shen 243). Olivia and Simons wish for a child are granted on their return to America. They believe that the memory of Kwan resides in the infant daughter with dimples in the fat cheeks (senses 357). From the information and narration given by the members of Joy Luck Club, The difference in the Chinese-Americans from their older relatives and parents is shown clearly. The constant devotion to elders and endurance in the blood of Chinese mothers are completely changed by their daughters through a single generation. The daughters have adopted the American way of thinking, speech and lifestyle. In The woman warrior men, the focus is on the women who have had an impact on Kingstons life in a male dominated society that had surrounded her. The power of the Chinese traditions is explained to be the single most contributing factor to the oppression of the women in the society. Though Kingstons mother is an accomplished doctor she still believes and reinforces the seemingly outdated idea that despite the accomplishment that girls achieve they are still a disappointment to their parents. This confuses Kingston who had earlier been empowered by her mothers narration that the girl child could equally take the responsibility that traditionally a preserve of the man. Kingston explores the family secret of an aunt in China who was impregnated out of wedlock and subsequently faced the rejection of her family. The trauma later led her to drowning in the well. Kingston tries to figure the aunts point of view. Kingston thinks that perhaps her aunt was caught in a slow life and let her growing dreams to fade…she thinks of her having looked at a man because of her liking of the way her hair was neatly tucked behind her ears. Out of speculation Kingston tries to reclaim the forgotten memory of her aunt and holds herself including her parents accountable. She speaks of how her parents want her to participate in the punishment that she has already done. Kingston appears to be haunted by the ghosts of the little Chinese girls that are abandoned to die by their mothers because of the pressure of the society of the need to have sons since the girls are perceived to be a disappointment to the family. Such conflicting messages are what lingers in the mind of little Kingston as she grows up. In a tale of liberation, Kingston tries to imagine of her childhood as Hua Mulan disguised with the aim of defending her village. It comes as no surprise that Kingston is empowered by the retelling of the story of a warrior who manages to combine both her roles as mother and wife; and still leads her village to victory. After defeating their enemies and restoring the corruption free dynasty, she tells her parents on her return home that she will stay with them and do the womanly duties of housework, farming and giving birth to more sons now that she has finished her duties. This shows that for Kingston to reconcile what she had been taught she had to escape her home or take up charge like Fa Mu Lan. Similar fate applies to the Chinese women who can escape from being slaves or wives by taking up the role that had been associated with men like defending the villages. The overthrowing of the emperor heralds a new order for the peasants. The Chinese peasants remain silent on their so guarded community from fear of anything that could disrupt it. It is not only paradoxical but also ironic when Kingston narrates “You must not tell anyone." This burden of silence is more often borne by the children who are now part of the American society. Kingston on her part appears to be naturally quiet in search of her own voice. It is quite awkward that Kingstons mother, herself an accomplished doctor cuts Kingstons tongue to help her talk more. Kingston in her memoir tries to reach out to the new generation of Chinese-Americans who are facing frustrations and mixed feelings of displacement. Kingston is torn between the two worlds. She feels different when with her relatives at the same time she feels different when in the company of her American classmates. A typical Chinese woman usually speaks with a loud voice which further heightens the frustration since it is not considered in American society to be a feminine trait. The ghosts in the memoir are used to discuss animals and humans, Americans and Chinese, the dead and the living. Kingston is brought up listening to the stories of the ghosts that she can no longer differentiate what real from what had resided in her imagination is. She has a quest to determine what is real by shining light on her past. She thought that she might have a ghost following her around in the form of a boy or probably it was just her memory creating the picture of non-existent being. What is even more confusing about the ghosts is that they change continuously depending on the point of view of the narration. According to Brave Orchid everyone who is living in America and is not a Chinese, is a ghost. However, the Chinese-Americans feel that they are the ghosts in America. The stories that are drawn in both the mothers experiences in Amy Tans the Joy Luck club and Chinese myths in Maxine Hongs The Woman Warrior are used to teach the daughters important lessons about the Chinese traditions to enable them to behave in a particular way. Even though the stories are initially imposing insecurity and fear to the young Kingston, they eventually give her an avenue for inspiration as shown when she tells the Brave Orchid that she also tells stories. The birds are used to represent the aggressiveness and bravery of a child who would be able to rise above her current odds and fully pursue her ambitions. Bibliography Tan, A. (2006). The joy luck club. London, Penguin Books. Kingston, M. H. (2010). The woman warrior memoirs of a girlhood among ghosts. New York, Vintage eBooks. http://www.contentreserve.com/TitleInfo.asp?ID={6809B9E8-5849- 4485-A606- E771D699F645}&Format=410. Connolly, D. R. (2000). Homeless mothers: face to face with women and poverty. Minneapolis, Minn. [u.a.], Univ. of Minnesota Press. Cole, S. (2010). Booktalking around the world: great global reads for ages 9-14. Santa Barbara, Calif, Libraries Unlimited. Read More