Compromise and Necessity in Marriage - Essay Example

Dr. Richard Courtney ENG-122 James Saunders Jr. May 30, Compromise and Necessity in Marriage Although marriage was once an almost mandatory stage for everyone, particularly women, this notion of union is now challenged as some argue that marriage is only a ritual that forces two people to make compromise constantly in their daily life. Written in the early 1900s, Thomas Hardy's "The Ruined Maid" blatantly criticizes marriage for destroying a woman's life despite the comfort and economic benefits it offers. Ernest Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants" and George Corso's "Marriage," on the other hand, are less extreme while depicting the conflict and compromise between couples. Although neither of the texts portrays marriage as the symbol of complete bliss, they suggest different reasons on why people get married: social mobility, companionship, and in some sense, necessity. Among the three texts, Hardy's work is written the earliest. The poem describes the encounter of two women who used to be from the same village and work as laborers. The dialogue between the two reveals that one of them has climbed the social ladder: wearing expensive clothing and jewelry and speaking with a polished accent. While her friend questions her for all these positive changes, the woman only answers plainly, "O didn't you know I have been ruined" (line 4). Although such lines on being ruined suggest that the woman sees her marriage in a negative light, her casual tone reveals that she has expected marriage to be unpleasant. It appears that the woman in the poem married out of necessity to improve her social status and is willing to accept any negative consequences. Hardy uses a comic tone and narration to write about the misery behind a seemingly lucky and happy wife. Indeed, during the time period when Hardy composed the poem, women were not on equal footing with their husbands, and marriage was often seen as an instrument to escape poverty as single women could hardly support themselves financially. Unlike the other two texts, "The Ruined Maid" does not mention any compromise or struggle between the wife and husband as it is almost certain that the wife has to be all submissive for the financial and social benefits she receives through marriage. In this regard, Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephant" is more nuanced as it depicts the interaction between two lovers while they discuss a critical matter-abortion. Although there is no clear reference on marriage, the dialogue between the two suggests that the two characters in the story are as intimate as a married couple. Their interactions are also representative of those between two people who are in a relationship. Although it appears that the man and the woman in the story are on equal footings, the man remains the more powerful one, similar to the situation depicted in Hardy's poem. When the man attempts to convince his partner to have the operation, the woman does not respond at all-she avoids the conversation by staring down. The woman's attitude softens when the man promises that they "can have everything" and after the operation the two of them will be happy like before. The woman shows resistance towards the man's constant suggestion of an abortion; however, at the end, she claims that she "there's nothing wrong with [her]. [She] feel[s] fine." This suggests that she is willing to compromise to appease her partner. She may view that it is necessary for her to have the operation in order to rescue the relationship from jeopardy. It is unclear whether the woman finally agrees to have the abortion but the struggle and compromise portrayed by the dialogue and interactions between the two characters are one of the main components of marriage. In Hardy's poem, the woman compromises her life as an independent person for a higher social status, while the narrator in Corso's "Marriage" seems ready to compromise partly due to his belief that it is necessary for a man to get married to fend off the fear of old age and loneliness. Corso's poem depicts the change in the narrator's different feeling towards his imaginary relationship with the girl next door, from passion, hesitancy, pleasant stability, unrest, to boredom. In the fifth stanza, the narrator presents his positive vision on marriage: "How nice it'd be to come home to her/ and sit by the fireplace and she in the kitchen/ aproned young and lovely wanting by baby/ and so happy about me she burns the roast beef" (line 50-53). However, immediately the narrator thinks of another situation: taking care of a newborn infant and devoting all his time to his family. The worst scenario in the narrator's mind is that after marriage, he and his family are in a dire economic situation where the household becomes a constant battle ground. A few lines after the depiction of a life with "a fat Reichian wife" (line 68), the narrator describes a seemingly perfect situation where he is married to a sophisticated and beautiful woman. However, he then claims that he "can't imagine myself married to that pleasant prison dream" (line 82). It appears that the narrator cannot even imagine being in a married life, but at the end he gives the rationale on why he would still try to get married: to avoid loneliness. His reasoning is that since everyone will be married years later, he will be the only one left all by himself. It is, thus, out of necessity that he would marry a woman even though she is not the ideal. In other words, the narrator suggests that marriage is not about creating a picture-perfect union, but about easing the fear of loneliness. Out of such necessity, the narrator is willing to compromise the single lifestyle that he prefers. Although all three pieces of texts discussed here portray the negative aspects of marriage or of being in a committed relationship and that the protagonists get married merely out of necessity, there are couples who choose to marry because of love, respect, and understanding. It is undeniable that all successful marriages require compromise and accommodation on both parts, but that does not mean that marriages bear only responsibilities. Marriage exists not only because people are willing to fulfill all the entailed obligations in order to receive what they need, but also because people are willing to make certain sacrifice for the one they love. Works Cited Corso, George. "Marriage." Reading Literature and Writing Argument. Missy James and Alan Merickel Ed. Upper Saddle River: Prentice Hall, 2002: page number. Print. Hardy, Thomas. "The Ruined Maid." Reading Literature and Writing Argument. Missy James and Alan Merickel Ed. Upper Saddle River: Prentice Hall, 2002: page number. Print. Hemingway, Ernest. "Hills Like White Elephants." Reading Literature and Writing Argument. Missy James and Alan Merickel Ed. Upper Saddle River: Prentice Hall, 2002: page number. Print. Read More