But as we begin to discover more of ourselves, and we begin to understand and honor the presence of things and people around us, we become less of a person who is self-seeking but we are slowly being transformed to become self-giving. The more we enjoy the meaning of ourselves, the more we want to share it or give part of ourselves away.
As we get to know each other more, it is much simpler to be generous to others, in almost everything. This is because of our increased sense of security, we have taken from our self-awareness. In my opinion, a person who is self aware, is less insecure. We become more comfortable even in unknowns spheres and parameters. We are no longer confined to restrictions and it becomes a need to share what we are and who we are.
Buddhism or Psychotherapy invokes that the further we look at/into our selves the further we are perpetuating the notion of no self. No self basically means letting go of narcissistic notions and furthermore allowing oneself to become part of a bigger picture in the world. This may sound very paradoxical but this can be explained in several ways.
For example, the more we are in touch with our senses, the better we perceive the senses of others. Our personal sensitivity becomes not just means to promote our own needs but also to meet the needs of others. Simple fact such as being sensitive to foul smell, we cannot just easily ignore it, because our senses can perceive it, at the same time we subconsciously know that others smell it too, thus we begin to "care" about others, and how they would perceive things. This is purely a function of departing from our own self.
Such tendency allows us to discover our inner connection to the world and other beings. As Aristotle says, men indeed are social beings. We are born to form communities and relate with fellow beings. This way of looking at ourselves, will definitely bring us back to the essentials of becoming social beings.
According to Mark Epstein, "What Buddhism teaches is that the connection, the ability to find intimacy or connection, is inherent within us, and that if we can just surrender back into that capacity for love, that is all of our birthrights--all babies are born with that; they instinctively love their caretakers. So if we can find that again, then our relationships will take care of themselves."(Epstein, 2005)
Mark Epstein pioneered the Eastern teachings of non-self, something that is so different and new to the Western mind. Instead of the usual or traditional Western teaching of separation, individuality as the ultimate psychological goals of human development, he opted to create a theory that is based on connection. Through Buddhism, the idea of "self" becomes a part of a certain whole- which is the universe.
Each soul or person becomes a vehicle of spirituality, common to all people. Thus, if we look deeper within ourselves, we find it natural to relate and connect with other people because there is something common amongst all of us, it can be the presence of a higher being within us, or simply the common kind of spirituality which has