Grief contributes nothing but pain and unending sorrow. It is only allowing yourself be imprisoned in the past for which affects the people that you deal with at present, dragging them into feeling the same miseries that you have had in your past. We all share one world therefore it is of no wonder that we find people who share the same grievances with us. They may have different memories of the painful past, yet we find security upon knowing that somebody shares the same heartache that we have been into, lest that somebody had found peace against all the odds. No one can escape grief in a blink of an eye.
The book supports the idea that healing a wounded heart requires enough time that its scar leaves a trace of that painful past "How many years pass before the difference between murder and death erodes Grief requires time. If a chip of stone radiates its self, its breath, so long, how stubborn might be the soul. If sound waves carry on to infinity, where are their screams now" It also took Jakob a sufficient time to be able for him to accept the realities that had happened to him and his family.
He had grieved over his sister's loss that he finds himself even more miserable that he sees Bella in his wife's personality - which he eventually thought that life with her is impossible. This situation concerns the lines "the responsibility of forgiveness on behalf of the dead. No act of violence is ever resolved The bond of memory and history when they share space and time. Every moment is two moments." It is with his wife that every moment is two moments for it is with spending time with his wife that Jakob feels spending it with his sister as well. Therefore he had come into a realization that " to remain with the dead is to abandon them" Jakob thus chooses to live at present, see the beauty and the pleasures that the present bring by leaving his past behind, which means leaving Alex to give honor to his sister's memories and to look at forward to brand new memories he could keep in the future.
Living harmoniously at present does not mean burying the memories of the past. It is accepting it and living with it, turning the other side of the stone into a meaningful and memorable past gaining more wisdom and strength out of that painful past. Pain is a common emotion that one feels whenever he has lost someone, or have gone through a dreadful past. However, with grief, one finds the beauty of life itself. "Then Jakob said: 'Perhaps the electron is neither particle nor wave but something else instead, much less simple - a dissonance - like grief, whose pain is love. We think of weather as transient, changeable, and above all, ephemeral; but everywhere nature remembers. Trees, for example, carry the memory of rainfall. In their rings we read ancient weather-storms, sunlight, and temperatures, the growing seasons of centuries'" These lines are just examples that grief could bring to a person. It allows us to see every privilege that we have been granted. In pain, our eyes are opened up to a world with so much to look forward to.
"History is amoral: events occurred. But memory is moral; what we consciously remember is what our conscience remembers..." Memory is involved with not alone of the pictures of the past but it is at the same time feeling the same feeling