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Self Evaluation - Personal Statement Example

Extract of sample
Self Evaluation

Even a person with no knowledge of health care and no sensitivity to diversity could understand the topic. The sentence from Page 4, "But healthcare is more than just medical equipment, hospitals, and adequate insurance. Healthcare is a competent staff that can relate to the patients and effectively care for them within the context of their own needs and desires", relates a focused thought that can get someone to start thinking differently about our health care system. It could be read by anyone and have the opportunity to inform them or change their mind. This has become a very important part or writing to me.
2.) My weakest essay was "The Literacy Behind Patient Care". The paper opens with a weak line telling the reader what the paper is about. It should have grabbed their attention and made them curious. Many of the sentences are not well constructed. This also holds true for the paragraphs that ramble and jump from idea to idea. Overall, the paper is difficult to read and its intentions are not clear. The essay spends too much time showing specific examples and does not clearly show the results of the examples or why they are important.
3.) To improve "The Literacy Behind Patient Care" I would first determine what I wanted the reader to take away from the essay. I wanted to demonstrate why patient literacy was important, not what it was. I would write a thesis that stated the patient literacy was important because it impacts a patient's well-being. I would then write an outline that explained all the ways that a patient can suffer from improper care. I would then construct each paragraph in the outline before starting to write. I would also spend more time revising the draft. I would have some other people, not necessarily students, read the paper and ask for their reaction.
4.) My revising and editing skills have greatly improved during this class. At the beginning I did not understand the necessity of revising a paper. I didn't even know what to look for when revising. Now, I can look at each paragraph as an independent topic, and how it relates to the paragraphs around it. I can look at the paragraph and see if it flows from opening to closing and is supported by evidence and facts. I also look at each sentence to see if it is grammatically correct and easy to read.
These skills were unknown and overwhelming at the beginning of the course, but I now see they are steps in the writing process. Revising and editing each paragraph and each sentence has made the task less of an obstacle. Knowing the key points of transition and relevance has been important to improving my writing skills. I now revise and edit in pieces, rather than the entire paper at once.
5.) My writing was improved most by my concept of the writing process. In the beginning papers, I thought a person could just write their thoughts and that would be the end of the task. I now understand that I can write freely in a draft and go back and edit it. I don't feel pressured to get it exactly right the first time. The drafting and revising process has had a great impact on improving my papers.
Also, the feedback and advice from other people has helped me. I am no longer shy about showing my essays and asking for an honest opinion. Making small changes in the language or correcting structural errors have made my papers more clear and easier to read. The writing center has also helped me to develop the technique and ...Show more

Summary

1.) My strongest essay was "Recruiting Diversity Into the Healthcare System". I felt that the topic was important and it is a subject that I am passionate about. The paper was focused on the topic and flowed as a coherent thought. The paragraphs were independent topics that were supported by a body of evidence…
Author : swiftdemetris
Self Evaluation essay example
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