Untying the Knot - Essay Example

Untying the Knot The marriage between Max and Kate strikes me as rather superficial, and perhaps more of a marriage of convenience from its inception rather than a genuine joining of kindred souls. The article does present some common interests, some similarities in educational backgrounds, and a cheerful initial meeting. That, however, seems to be the limit of common interests. Max seems pretentious. He persuades his wife to convert to Judaism, criticizes her interests in lowbrow TV, criticizes her corporate job, and attempts to mold her into his ideal form of New York, elite snob.

Kate, on the other hand, is distant and dishonest. She keeps her money separate from Max's, disagrees privately while feigning agreeableness superficially, and accedes to Max's suggestions without expressing her own preferences or interests. Max seems to be using her to afford a comfortable lifestyle and she appears to be using him as a means of access to New York and corporate mobility. The marriage seems forced, more a tool than a relationship, and neither Max nor Kate comes off as even remotely likeable.

The marriage comes off as a competition rather than as a loving relationship In terms of Max, my immediate reaction is that he wanted a trophy wife. He wanted someone to adorn his arm at parties and to reinforce his apparent lack of self-esteem. The article suggests that he wasn't ever in love with Kate; rather; he was infatuated with an idealized version of Kate which diverged from reality. He strikes me as petty, snotty, and patronizing. These qualities, as I see it, would only be complemented by a woman with similar traits.

Kate was more of a common woman, more concerned with career and practical matters than elitist pretensions, and that she tired of Max's contrived routine is hardly surprising. That said, Kate is not an especially admirable character. She came to New York from the Midwest, and it would appear that she benefited rather substantially from her marriage to Max. He introduced her to people, he introduced her to New York, and he had his own income. In sum, my reaction is that Max is controlling and that Kate is insincere and manipulative.

This is a marriage which, in my view, is not only not salvageable, but was probably destined for failure from the beginning. There is nothing in this article which suggests that either of the people is selfless in any way. True, they boxed food for the homeless, but they did this to satisfy Max's desire to prove himself better and more noble than other people. Kate did it to appease Max. They have almost nothing in common. Divorce is the only solution. Finally, how does one allocate fault in such a marriage One might point to Kate's infidelity, but I find that unpersuasive.

I find that argument unpersuasive because the emotional separation had occurred long before. The fault must be divided equally. Two people chose to get married and they were simply, in the long run, incompatible. They made a poor choice in getting married. There is no evidence of abuse. There is no evidence of abandonment. The only evidence is that these two people didn't really like each other very much. Max attempted to guide Kate, and she appeased him in the early years. There really isn't any fault.

Works CitedThernstrom, M."Untying The Knot.(Magazine Desk)."New York Times Magazine (August 24, 2003 p38 col 01 (164 col):38.New York State Newspapers.Thomson Gale.New York Institute of Technology.7 Oct. 2006.