The Reinvention of Marriage - Essay Example

Marano wrote about marital therapist Liberty Kovacs' research and findings, based on theoretical bravado from group dynamics, theories of adult development, and family systems, of the six stages that marriages go through. Kovacs developed a system which tracks the paths of marital relationships as they evolve in intimacy and mutuality and finds that these paths are predictable in marriages. The six stages are highly distinct and marriages do not necessarily move from one stage to the next in an orderly fashion.

A marriage may be stuck in one stage for years or it may go back to another stage. Instead of progressing in a linear pattern, the stages move in a circular pattern. The six stages include: Stage One-Romance (Honeymoon) Fusion; Stage Two-Expectations Compromise; Stage Three-Power Struggle; Stage Four-Seven-Year Itch Competition; Stage Five-Reconciliation Cooperation; Stage Six-Acceptance Collaboration. Being able to look at marriage as a predictable pattern, which involves phases that couples go through, helps couples to be aware of what they are going through and how to deal with them.

The knowledge that these phases are part of what marriages go through helps couples to know that this is a natural cyclic process and that they are not alone as all marriages go through these stages in time, as research has discovered. . Being aware of the stages of marriage allows a couple to customize and design a marriage that will help them work through the six stages then instead of trial and error attempts at a guessing game, there is a more tried and true approach. Couples are able to view the blueprint as they are aware of the stages and can customize the path/solution to take.

A strong marriage does not happen overnight and instant gratification should not be what one looks for. Poor conflict management is the key in developing a healthy marriage as it moves through the stages. The art of arguing, as Kovacs calls it, is learning how to communicate effectively and to learn the skills of problem solving. It is important that men and women understand their differences in how they handle conflict and experience pain. By understanding each other's points of view and natural way of responding, conflict management and problem solving can be more easily accomplished.

Along with better conflict management methods "the positive affect", or the expression of affection, must also be incorporated. A sense of humor, empathy, agreement, and other positive actions are aspects of "the positive affect" which shows expressions of affection. This article is relevant to psychology because as the "Elmer" Social Science Dictionary (2003) defines the word psychology, it deals with the "Scientific study of human behavior, mental processes, and how they are affected and/or affect an individuals or group's physical state, mental state, and external environment.

Its goal is to describe, understand, predict, and modify behavior." The findings of this article and the research that was conducted can be applied toward not only marriages but basically, any