Major Metamorphosis of Marriage - Essay Example

Titus Rock Manickam Order No. 187582 23 October 2007 Sociology Report Introduction The metamorphosis of marriage from an ideal, divinely inspired familial institution to an insipid social structure prone to frictions and fissures within the past few decades has set alarm bells clanging like never before in the annals of social history. The increasing number of separation, divorce and blended families impact children, the most vulnerable component of a family and society, and is cause for concern not only to the children, but society as a whole, because society derives its existence and well being on its healthy family units. Indeed, disturbing trends in family affairs can impact a nation, impinging on human rights, weakening its human resource, forecasting a gloomy future, and make it dependent on imported offshore skills to run its economy. This sociology report on cohabitation, marriage, separation, divorce and blended marriage is intended to highlight the debilitating effects of unsuccessful marriages, the depression it causes particularly to the woman, the irreversible sense of damage and loss it leaves in the minds of children, and the unmitigated futility of never ending debate it rakes up in a society ever enacting fresh laws and rules to suit everyone, without getting anywhere close to the ideal, long term solution. Sociological Perspective The cause for separation and divorce is now not only marital discord which may be the initial spark, but it is also fuelled by many other factors in a society riven with exclusive commercialism, cut-throat competition, demanding lifestyles, insecure job situations, infidelity, declining moral standards, and so forth. The basic reason could be as frivolous as intolerance towards the way one eats an apple or snores while asleep, or serious ones such as physical abuse. Whatever the reason, there is no denying the fact that it leaves a trail of sadness, insecurity, and lifelong scars. Traditionally, divorce was considered taboo and was almost unheard of. If it did occur, it was talked about in hushed tones, equivalent to any disaster of very high portentous proportion. One would be willing to go to any length to achieve its prevention. Nowadays, divorce is considered even at the drop of a hat! It has become so fashionable! Globalization, business priorities, long separations in view of offshore employments, infidelity, same sex marriage, irreverence to time proven, healthy traditional values, disregard for moral and religious precepts, total subjugation to temporal, materialistic gains, have heavily eroded the sanctity and strength the family unit once observed and nourished as a rule. The discord between the couple is an excuse which allows these monstrous social and economic factors to hit the final nails into the coffin. The unceremonious example of the Prince of Wales and his glamorous wife, the late Princess Diana, and the prince's blended marriage with Camilla, is a mere reflection of the delusions and dilemmas prevalent in society today as a result of the stormy winds of unprecedented social and economic changes that have ascended like the tsunami, taking a heavy toll of family ties and values. The stigma of separation and divorce on the whole does not stop with the immediate couple involved, but it goes on to influence the whole society with the unhealthy trend serving as a case study or trend setter to others considering divorce instead of allowing a chance for an edifying shot at patching up. Also significant are cases of couples who live together before marriage. Evidence exist that show couples who live together before marriage do not understand the importance and usefulness of a planned marriage, and are more likely to get divorced before long. And even if married, the chances of their cheating on their spouses are considerably high, given their casual approach to the subject of marriage. Furthermore, the consequence begins to impact and influence their children at an early age. In real, the prevalence of sexually transmitted disease (STD) is high among couples cohabiting without seriously considering marriage. Couples living together without the sanctity of marriage are prone to lack the moral and legal safeguards and protections the institution of marriage offers. The occurrence of separation in these cases can only be abnormally high. Children borne by cohabiting couple are less likely to marry and are illegitimate. Suffering scorn of the very society that has licensed their coming to existence they also are more likely to become a liability to society. Observations reveal the prevalence of drug use and criminal behavior is high among illegitimate children. It is difficult to argue in favour of separation and divorce because of the tremendous criticality and debilitating effects of the issues involved. One shudders to imagine the fate of a nation with a high population of cohabiting couples or divorced parents. Children need space and an environment where they can learn and grow. They also need the ideal parents, peers and shelter they can call their own and be proud of. They are born with a right to belong and to be cared for until they reach their age of maturity and self-reliance. They have a right to expect parents to give up their own petty quarrels in order to include the child to decide whether divorce is necessary. Good families, couples who sacrifice their own happiness for the better future of their children, joint families where there are grand parents to care for children in the absence of parents, regular observation of worship of the Almighty who has set the rules and order of the universe, cannot be allowed to become extinct. (Paul Vitz)1. The impact on preschool age children in a single parent household is more severe than that experienced by older children. The absence of one parent is conspicuous because the child sees parents of her peers and cannot help wondering why she has to be the one without the love and attention of both the parents. Moreover, in many cases the low income of the single parent creates a sense of insecurity which aggravates a balanced approach in bringing up the child. There is inconsistency in creating a proper family atmosphere, resulting in negative thoughts and attitudes simmering in the minds of the single parent as well as the child. . School going children may also find the going tough, although they have more resilience to eventually adjust to the changed situation. They are also in a better position to get an idea of what is wrong and who is more responsible for the mess. However, the pangs of deprivation will undoubtedly hold sway for a long period of time, maybe leaving a lifelong sense of loneliness and inadequacy. Remarriages does little to ameliorate the feelings of the child. It may even lead to more complicated situation where the child has to share her single parent with a total stranger and his children from the previous marriage, in case he has them. (Cathleen Jo Faruque).2 Historical and Cultural Context From the early years of the 20th Century, the divorce rates kept increasing steadily from 12% in 1900 to 19% in 1920, 27% in 1940 and it increased to 33% in 1950. This is the statistics in U.S.A. Today, one of two or three marriages ends in divorce in the U.S.A. Elsewhere, especially in the third world cultures, due to social, economical and religious pressures the situation statistically does not come anywhere close to the western countries. Nonetheless, the simmering discontent among married couples is showing signs of erupting with marriage counselors reporting rising incidents of uneasy couples seeking divorce. (Divorce).3 Divorce and legal separation have become very common in the United States and in the European countries. Elsewhere, the scenario is as dismal, breaking safety valves that traditional, cultural environments provided, disintegrating joint families through modernization and misplaced fascination for western mindset by which newly wed couple prefers to stay separately as a family unit. Shorn of the traditional safeguards and strengths that joint family provided, the newly weds begin to face situations similar to their western counterparts before the virus of separation and divorce begin to strike at epidemic levels. Between 1960 and 1980, the divorce rate in the U.S.A. tripled. This could well be the situation in third world countries like India in the coming years. Whereas a few decades ago, single mothers were unheard of in India, today there are celebrities unabashedly proclaiming their status as single mothers. The issue of single parenting in India has hitherto remained incognito because it is a recent phenomenon and India is still coming to grips with the new formations of familial, social and economical networks. Single parenting is a reality staring bleakly at the educated middle class youth in countries like India today. (Parenting).4 Conclusion - what are the implications for the future Considering all the pros and cons, and every aspect of the issues related to marriage and divorce, there can be no alternative to a healthy family-oriented married living. Using insight, foresight, and hindsight, the alternatives are only too horny to opt for. Put simply, we cannot afford to encourage alternatives to the good, old institution of marriage. Whatever social, health specialists or psychologists might say, the odds are not in favor of cohabiting couples, separation and divorce. They are not advisable for any society and nation either. The experiment with divorce and remarriage ostensibly began in the 1960s and has continued with additions and modifications ever since. But the outcome proves that the tendency to cohabit, separate, divorce and blend is not the ideal solution for either the couple involved or the children thereof. Nations that advocated liberal divorce laws have only proved that children of the lawfully wedded couple score admirably well in comparison to the offspring of the law exploiting cohabiting couple in which the probability of at least one of the couple's unhappy state of mind does not augur well for the family. A great majority of studies show the long term negative effects in children of divorced parents can be very serious. (The Early Identification and Streaming of Cases of High Conflict).5 Coping with adolescence is difficult enough to a child. The prospect of having to undergo the additional trauma of divorced parents most definitely impinges on the child's rights as a human being. No child would want her parents to divorce, despite the disturbing circumstances that sometimes may lead to divorce. They feel doubly burdened when their single parent remarry and have to cope with a step-parent and step-brothers and/or step-sisters. (Combining Families).6 Sources 1. Paul Vitz, Family Decline: The Findings of Social Science, www.catholiceducation.org/articles/marriage/mf0002.html, 21 October 2007. 2. Cathleen Jo Faruque, The Changing of America's Families, www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/parenting/families.html, 21 October 2007. 3. Divorce, www.psych.ku.edu/dennisk/PF642/Divorce.pdf, 21 October 2007. 4. Parenting, www.ifsha.org/parenting/sparent.htm, 22 October 2007. 5. The Early Identification and Streaming of Cases of High Conflict, canada.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/pad/reports/2001-fcy-7/tracking.html, 21 October 2007. 6. Combining Families, www.ecureme.com/especial/psychology/combining_families.asp, 21 October 2007. Read More