Basic Communication Skills That Are Prerequisites for the Helping Relationship - Assignment Example

Discuss the basic communication skills that are prerequistites for the helping relationship It is a fact that the quality of social life of every person depends on the character of his/her communication with other people. Getting satisfaction from communication reflects on psychological well-being of participants of communication process, at the same time the dissatisfaction caused by social contacts and interpersonal attitudes, loneliness can lead to bad mood and depression, drop in activity, and at last to health worsening. So, actually effective and qualitative communication is good for productive social and interpersonal attitudes, and on the contrary, low-quality communication can cause difficulties for living in society. Every person needs communication and contacts establishing. From one side, it is a necessity to get new impressions, feelings and knowledge, and from the other side it is a wish to share thoughts and opinion. So, communication is a process of information exchange. This process helps to enrich experience of the person who communicates. Education of every human goes through communication which is one of the main experience sources. In the process of personality development the communication development gets the social-selective character. The universal character of communication becomes apparent in “confess” nessecity: to share thoughts and problems. Communication necessity is always connected with the self-communication. Some people have a well-developed habit of self-comnmunication. The reasons for this are hidden in personality or society he/she lives in. It is a fact that active interpersonal attitudes cause self-comnmunication necessity. Usually people are tired of the information they don’t need and this becomes the reason for self-communication. It is worth admitting that the skills of self-communication are very important for soluting the problems and analyzing difficulties. ___________________________________________________________________________ * Hofstede G. Culture and organizations, p. 19 - 20 So, communication is an integral part of human existing and important prerequisite for social human formation, and also it is a prerequisite for society development. The process of communication helps to organize, to regulate and to unite people, it helps to develop emotional and intellectual interaction between people. Analysing personality as a social-psychological phenomenon we can see that society correlation is not an interrelation of two isolated systems: personality researching is always connected with society researching and on the contrary. A personality should be always analysed at the contest of social relationship. The matter and level of relationship between people are various: social, public, interpersonal attitudes and others. Social relationship reflect the interaction between social groups and persons as the representatives of these groups. Public relationship are characterized by the personality and society interaction through the social communities. They are very important for economical, social, political and cultural relationship. * The notion ”interpersonal attitudes” is used to define different subjective actions of people in the process of interaction with the objects of environment. Usually they are expressed by the economical, legal, moral, religious, political, aesthetic, and ethnical relationship. In context of analysing interpersonal attitudes we can mark out the notion of “personal attitude”. This notion reflects personal subjective orientation to a group of people or to a difinite person. The personal attitude includes reaction to the partner’s merits and demerits. The personal reaction becomes apparent with the help of the speech, voice, mimicry, pantomimic and others. Action also can be a form of personal attitude. Interpersonal attitudes are characterized by the real direct or mediate interaction what has feedback. In this sense they get the social-psychological character (because of personal ___________________________________________________________________________ * Hofstede G. Culture and organizations, p. 17 - 20 understand the nature of interpersonal attitudes in right way we should not associate them with the social relationship. Interpersonal attitudes is the special range of realtionship which appear inside every type of social relationship. Underestimation of the interpersonal attitudes is an obstacle for anylising the social relationship. So, we can say that interpersonal attutudes are determined by the social and there is a strong connection between them. All kinds of relationship are realized in communication which is the integral part of human activity. The connection between communication and relatioship system is vivid: the relationship that appear between the participants of interaction are formed and realized through the process of communication.* The complecated process of information exchange, understanding between the participants of communication requires a certain communication ground, i.e. social-psychological environment where it is possible to build an appropriate communication model. It should be the ground where it is possible to realize all the functions of communication: developing, notional and resultative. The communication ground influences on the subjects of communication not only directly by the general information which was created at the process of exchange, but through the means of communication (verbal and non-verbal), some rules of communication, moral norms of interaction, and traditions. The interrelation between the participants of communication process and communication ground is expressed in the direct connection and interdependence between them. It is also expressed in the influence of the subjects of communication on the communication ground and on the contrary. The third thing where we can see the interrelation is oppositions and antagonisms between communication ground and person if there are no conditions for personal information satisfaction. The interrelation is ___________________________________________________________________________ * Egan G. The skilled helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping, p. 263 - 264 expressed in the mechanisms which make or do not make for understanding between the subjects of information. It is a fact that psychological well-being of every person is determined by his/her place in the system of interpersonal attitudes.* Communication ground of the interpersonal attitudes is a complecated formation with the definite system of connections and can be considered to have such properties: integrity, structure, separate srtuctural components and their functional integrity at the same time. In general the communication ground of interpersonal attutudes is the ground of intents and aims of the participants of the communication process; of the interrelation, interdependences, interference; of feedback and general information field; means of information and sources of information; of communication norms, language values; of common sence. It is important to discuss the communication ground considering social-cultural and ethnical-psychological context, because the communication culture has a great impact on human nature, actions and wishes. ** As for the subjects of communication process, we can say that there should be at least two people who are not separate in the communication ground though the independence of each of them is considered. At the stage of opening information exchange this integrity is almost unnoticeable, it is just expressed in announcing information and listening. Real process of communication gives the communication properties the ability to turn into actual. The subjects of communication provide the process of interrelation with the help of verbal and non-verbal means. If the information goes from one subject to another and than back, it connects the ___________________________________________________________________________ *Egan G. The skilled helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping, p. 266 - 273 ** Fishbein M. Attitude and the prediction of behaviot, p. 477 - 485 partners to general information field. The information which appeared in the process of exchange (specification, supplement and others) is much more deeper than the openning information. The general information field has a common mood. We should admit that the general information field does not solute the problem of understanding.* Trying to achieve a dialogue and common sense the partners have to go through the range of mechanisms and phenomena which promote or are an obstacle for understanding: If the feedback is expressed in the form, which is not accepted because of malevolence, then it is not accepted as a feedback, but as a critisism, pressure and insult. If the communicator feels the negative partner’s mood, but does not understand the reasons for this, then it is very difficult to develop communication. If the partners name the feelings they get at the process of communication sincerely, use comparison, analogies for the specification and expansion of information, then the subjects will accept information in right way. The information is accepted only if it does not cause the discomfort, cognitive dissonance, but satisfies certain needs of a partner. The result of communication is a really achieved by level of integrity of communicator and recipient as subjects of communication, level of development of general communication action. In other words the result of successful communication is common sense and dialogue relationship. ** When people begin their talk there are always at least two constituents: talking (speaking, information announcing) and listening. These processes are represented in verbal sphere during communication. Verbal communication, which uses human speech as a sign system, can be directed to the certain person or a group (sometimes it even does not have an ________________________________________________________________________ * Fishbein M. Attitude and the prediction of behaviot, p. 487 - 492 ** Gabor D. How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends, p. 98 - 101 addressee), but in any case it have a dialogue character and performes communication actions. In the process of information transfer different functions of speech become apparent: saying and accepting of messages, regulation of comminication action of participants, results controling and others. Speech is a means of emotional impact. The positive emotional impact and negative emotional impact regulate the actions of the pasrticipants of the communication process. This helps better understanding of situation aims and improves the effectiveness of comunication action of participants. Communication skills of announcing the information (speaking) are subject of investigation for a long time. Speaking has following characteristics: speech mechanisms, forms of expression, individual features of a speaker (manner of speaking). To manage the culture of speaking is an ability to formulate the thoughts exactly without extra words. Speaking also depends on ability to fix the voice timbre in right way, to choose the tempo of speaking and means that help to stimulate the partner. The culture of speaking demands the mobilization of thinking, memory, rich vocabulary, spiritual sphere, psychological stability. It is very important to avoid filler words that make speech pile up the information. In the process of speaking serious and humorous can go together. It is a fact that humour is a good positive psychological means, which helps to deenergize and creates good atmosphere for understanding. Though it should be mentioned that too much humour can bring bad results for both participants of the communication process. It is very useful to use the expressive gestures during the process of speaking. It is very important when gestures are in harmony with the words. Wrong use of the gestures can divert the attention from the information given in speech. To the communication skills belongs the ability to listen. It is a fact that listening as a method of accepting the information in formal communication is used oftener than the ability to read and write. Though not all people can listen. It is not a rare case when the attention is diverted by the emotional state. In this context it is important to differenciate to notions “to listen” and “to hear”. We can speak about listening as about effective process only if it provides right understanding of the words and feelings of the speaker. The effective listening provides creation communication field and trust relationship between the participants of the communication process.* Listening to another person is not just keeping silence, but active work and interest to the speaker, verbal and non-verbal aspects. The successful communication is achieved only if the main laws of listening skills are observed: to avoid misuse of criticism; not to tell much about personal problems and life; to show sincere interest to the partner of communication; to show the respect to the partner; to have adequate reaction to the partner; to be a grateful listener and to listen to the partner to the end; to respect the opinion of other people; to avoid quarrels (very often it is much more better to listen to the partner keeping silence, but not to interrupt for quarrels); to use the method of persuasion, not to use command tone; to remember the names: this helps to create trust relationship; to keep up the positive emotions of the partner; - to smile often: it is a gesture of openness. __________________________________________________________________________ * Gabor D. How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends, p. 103 - 115 Listening is an active process, which demands attention. * There are two types of listening: reflexive and nonreflexive. Nonreflexive listening means minimal interference in the partner’s speaking (passive listening). It is considered that it is useful to use the nonreflexive listening in following situations: the partner is talking about his view of a problem (it is good to use this type of listening if you are having an interview for getting a job, or duting the negotiations); if the partner wants to speak abouit his/her personal problems, feels bad or wants to solve a serious problem; if it is important for the partner to share his/her problems; the emotions should be controlled if the partner takes up a high post. The nonreflexive listening is not useful when: the partner has no wish to talk; keeping silence is taken as positive reaction. ** The other type is reflexive listening. It requires the feedback to understand if the information was taken in a right way. It is the method of active listening and means active process of communication: questions. It is a fact that the questions show interest to tyhe partmer and make the conditions for trust relationship. There are different types of questions: informative questions (for applying the necessary information), control (for controlling if the partner follows the idea of the conversation), orientation aim (to see if the partner has the same position), confirmatory questions (to reach understanding), familiarization questions (to know the partner’s thoughts about the problem), single-pole questions (the repetition of the partner’s question to show that you understand the points of conversation), alternative (give ________________________________________________________________________ * Schein Edgar H. Process Consultation Revisited : Building the Helping Relationship, p. 48 - 55 ** Allport G.V. Attitudes, p.3 - 13 the possibility of choice), provocative questions (to understand the aims of a partner and his/her understanding of a problem), introductory questions (to interest the partner and to pay his/her attention), cuncluding questins (to make the conclusion), close questions (these type of questions demands brief answer). The art of answering the questions has also some laws: before answering a pause should be made; if the question has a difficult construction, then it should be divided into several parts; if the idea of the question is difficult then it should be repeated, if the partner is not sure that he has understood it; if a person does npot know how to answer the question then he should ask for some time to think about this. Speaking about communication skills we should remember about the difficulties that are an obstacle for helping relationship: attention diverting; quick process of mental activity (if the person thinks quicker than speaks); feeling an aversion to other people’s thoughts; optionality of attention (if the a person tries to think about several things at the same time); answer necessity (if a person wants to reply he/she stops listening and concentrates his/her attention on formulating the answer). * There are also outside obstacles for listening such as noise, the accent of the person who speaks, the tempo of speaking (too slow or too fast), the peculiarities of appearance of the person who speaks, the voice of the speaker (too loud or too quiet), time limitation, temperature in the place where the conversation takes place and others. __________________________________________________________________________ * Allport G.V. Attitudes, p. 7 - 13 References cited Allport G.V. Attitudes // Readings in attitude theory and measurement. N.Y.: John Wiley and Sons, 1998 Egan G. The skilled helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping, 7th edition, Loyola University of Chicago Brooks/Cole Thomson Learning © 2002, ISBN 0-534-36731-3 Fishbein M. Attitude and the prediction of behaviot // Readings in attitude theory and measurement. N.Y.: John Wiley and Sons, 2000 Gabor D. How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends, Fireside; Rev&Updtd edition (January 9, 2001) ISBN: 0684868016 Hofstede G. Culture and organizations // International studies of Management Organization. 1981. № 4. Schein Edgar H. Process Consultation Revisited: Building the Helping Relationship (Addison-Wesley Series on Organization Development), Prentice Hall, 1998 Read More