Aging and Ageism - Essay Example

 My mother, Janet, is 71 years old. Raised as a Mormon, Janet is the middle child of nine children. While married to my father she worked for many years as an elementary school teacher. Approximately 30 years ago she started a real estate investment company. Janet was married for 35 years to my father until he passed away in 1990. She is a Caucasian, and with her Mormon upbringing, lived many years like a gypsy as her father went searching for a second wife. Her large family and religious upbringing affected her outlook on life immensely. The most important thing I learned about Janet is her resilience and ability to adapt to change. Being married to an alcoholic for 35 years greatly affected her and her ability to deal with turbulence and change. She has grown through adversity all of her life and now leads a content lifestyle still pursuing her dreams at age 71. She has taught me that a passion for life, varied interests and a deep desire to help others can create a joyful life. Celebrating and recognizing transitions in life has always been important to Janet. At age 60 she was given a crone party where her family and friends took the opportunity to acknowledge her for where she had come from and where she currently was. It was a chance for her to share some of the lessons she has learned as she aged. Janet used the ceremony to release past issues like a smoking habit she quit many years before, menstruation as she had already gone through menopause, her teaching career, her husband, and the raising of her children. It was a unique way for friends and family to learn from her experiences as well as honor who for who she had become—and recognize that even though she was now considered at times by society as “over the hill”, that she had many years of fruitful opportunities still available. Spirituality has always been a large influence on Janet and her outlook on life. She is deeply religious and believes that her thoughts and actions affect others as well as herself. Her deep caring is shown through continual acts of kindness. She has been known to pick up a hitchhiker and literally give the person the coat off her back. Whenever someone is in need she not only helps in any way she can, she also has extreme empathy. Her resilience comes from many factors. When her Mormon father was kicked out of the Mormon Church because he wanted another wife after polygamy was banned, he took the family on the road and they lived as vagrants for a year while he searched for another wife, believing God had told him to do so. Her father was mentally unstable and his instability can be seen in several of Janet’s brothers and sisters. Even though she is the middle child, there are only three other siblings still living. Another aspect of Janet’s resilience comes from living for 35 years with an alcoholic. Not a drinker herself, she lived through numerous infractions against her beliefs as well as sensibilities. When her husband passed away at the age of 57, it was the first time in Janet’s life that she was independent. All three of her children were grown by this time and Janet had to learn to live alone. She never remarried or dated other men after his death. My father’s death was the catalyst for a lot of change for my mother. Already a strong, passionate woman, she was free for the first time to pursue her dreams completely. She had been with my father since she was 14 years old so it was a huge transition. She spent nearly ten years grieving before she began to live fully again. Since then she has flourished in her senior years. A few years ago she started writing a memoir of her memories of living like a gypsy and the mental instability of her father. The writing class she took was a large influence on her growth. Her teacher recognized her “voice” and praised her work, encouraging her to continue. Since then she has written a complete book and is now looking to publish it. Aging for my mother has mixed rewards and pains. She has had type II diabetes for years and now has many aches and complications related to it. She swims each day and still walks and bicycles regularly. She is an avid traveler and is rarely at home. It’s painful however to see how these excursions wear her out more than ever before. Pain and exhaustion are a greater part of her life than ever before, but she persists in pursuing her dreams. She refuses to accept the limitations that aging has put on her. Even though she has slowed down somewhat, she still dreams and plans and pursues new ventures. Her business partner and her have somewhat retired, but Janet still works at finding real estate and working with the contractors to rehab the houses. Janet’s father lived to 102 year old. At 85 he was spry and walked vigorously. He always believed that “white sugar and flour” were evil and never touched either. He also never smoked or drank. Janet eats well because of her diabetes and doesn’t drink or smoke. Other than the diabetes, she is in excellent health. Interviewing my mother has affected me in numerous ways. I can see the strength that is possible. That everyone endures adversity, but how we handle it is what is key. My mother’s continual optimism, passion for new ventures and love of others has enhanced her life and kept her loving life in her senior years. I am awed by the way she still continues to grow. She doesn’t accept the limitations that aging has placed upon her. Even though it has slowed her down some, she refuses to stop growing. I can see from her that each part of life has its various transitions and that we can choose to learn and grow from each or we can grow stagnate and be bitter about life and its opportunities. Aging can offer the chance to reflect and teach others. It also provides the opportunity to take time for more selfish activities that are neglected during the child-raising years. Her attitude toward aging is an inspiration because she proves that life can get better with age, even with the new limitations. Society tends to view senior citizens as lesser beings, but Janet proves that vitality and the ability to continue contributing to society are a choice. She also shows that by taking care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually, some of the limitations can be avoided. She has shown me that life and our outlook are a choice; we can grow or we can slowly die. All of my life has been influenced by her strength. At 13 years old she took me backpacking through Europe for three months. This was a courageous act for a woman of 35 to travel with a teenager in a strange country. Since she was a teacher as a child she had her summers free and we would travel every summer. She took me to New York to see plays as well. Because she so believed in the need for positive outlets, she continually supported me in trying new things. I credit my own strengths to her desire to always want more and to see life in a positive light. I believe this positive attitude has affected her aging in a positive way, as well. Janet believes that people stagnate and grow old when they stop wanting more and trying new things. Her writing classes have helped her immensely to not only try new things (she had never written before in her life) but also has helped her self esteem and to realize that her words and thoughts have power and can help others. She has learned that her story has value and that others can learn from her lessons. Read More