How Persona Influences the Ego Consciousness in its Movement towards Individuation - Essay Example

Persona: How It Influenced My Ego Consciousness In Its Movement Towards Individuation I could trace my realization the mask I wear, the persona, to the kindergarten years. It was then that I was made aware by my parents and teachers that appearances matter. Till then, I was the one who was accepted the way I was – almost always. No matter how much I covered myself in spilt milk, dropped food or my own urine and excrement, I was given an excuse. I was too small to take care of my appearances, and the adult world could see and understand my helplessness. But when it was time for me to project myself as a miniature individual who was responsible for his appearances, I realized that I was not to be excused for the flaws that my projected self had. I watched the behavior of all the ‘good kids’ and followed suit – by being careful about my clean white shirt, shiny black shoes, and the tie for all seasons. Moreover, I knew that it was not a good idea to exhibit all my true feelings, especially sadness and fear, which posed a serious threat to my gender and what was expected of it. I am aware that my growing up years were a challenge when it came to the masks I was supposed to wear at various occasions. It was difficult for my ego consciousness to come to terms with the demands of time and space on it and to act accordingly. I was always looking for the right choices, the right persons with whom I could identify and carve a model for the mask that I could wear in the future, on a long term basis. I knew that many of my real role models were to be looked down upon by my elders. So, my real choices had to give way to the more socially acceptable, admirable ones. Though I loved to be like the clowns in a circus or the self-willed animals in the wild (which I watched on TV) who were not expected to follow the rules of civilized human society, I gave up on such rebellious thoughts after receiving unwelcome reactions to such behavior I tried a few times. Then came a phase when it dawned on me that the expectations that one was to fulfill was the price for one’s happiness and success. It was not fair to ignore my Shadow, which represented at least some of my real needs and longings. But I had to project my Self above that; the Self that wanted to be accepted, and given a chance, to move around in its immediate surroundings and to attain its higher goals. In that way, I was not sacrificing my Shadow, but my ego consciousness was suppressing it at times when it embarrassed me and others. My greatest revelation was that I was not the only one who had a dark side that I kept hidden within my mask. I found out for my own good that the persons I admired, the ones on whom I projected my Persona, were also like me – a mixture of the so-called and good and bad elements but appearing in a socially acceptable proportion that leads to a well-balanced personality. The movement towards my individuation was thus initiated and influenced by my ego consciousness of the Persona. Transcript Of The Conversation Between The Persona And Ego Ego: I am glad that I chanced upon you at an early stage in my life. But I don’t know why, I feel it is getting a lot difficult to keep a good relationship with you. What do you think about this? Persona: Well, I am in fact your creation. I do not really exist outside your ego consciousness. You just try to identify me in the people you admire, and you project your Self on them, in a kind of wishful thinking. Sometimes you are a lot confused, and that’s the reason why you feel that it’s difficult to keep a good relationship with me. Ego: But I try my best to keep the balance between the demands of my inner self (Id) and the outer world (Superego) which has a lot of expectations about me. All the circus clowns and animals I wanted to be like were the ones my inner self chose, but I started ignoring them to move on to some football players, who in my opinion were the ones who got all the attention from the public, especially from the opposite sex. But then, my university years have started to have a stronger influence on me, and I find you in my favorite teacher. At first, I thought he was everything I want to be. He is highly educated, smart and well behaved. He can speak many languages and speak and write wonderfully on any topic under the sun. His knowledge gives him a lot of power. But I recently found out that he had a string of broken relationships and has a dark side to him. He is a frequent visitor of the night clubs and bars and does not care for what others think of him when he is outside the university. Persona: So, you need to see me in some other person now? Ego: No, I am already tired of wearing too many masks. I need to come to terms with my true identity and to learn to lead a balanced life that does not seriously upset my Self or the society. Persona: I believe you are ready for Individuation. You have to realize that I exist only through you. And there is another part in you, just like me, which exists only through you. And since we are the two integral parts of your existence, we are also inter-related. I am talking about Shadow. I feel you are upset about the new information about your teacher because you dislike his so-called dark side. But it is in fact your dark side too. I know that you try to see me and Shadow as the opposites of each other. But I gain meaning only through the existence of Shadow. Similarly, Shadow is so scary to you mainly because I am too idealistic and perfect in your outlook. But the truth is that you are a mixture of both good and bad elements. You have some base instincts with which you have to live your life, be it good or not. What is significant is the way you handle this in your personality development. As you said correctly, it is not a good idea to wear too many masks. I feel you need to explore your inner self more closely, and come to terms with your suppressed instincts. And you need to think out a harmless and effective way to give vent to some of the real needs of your Id. Ego: Okay, I can try that. But can you explain why I find it very difficult to maintain you in my teacher and at the same time I want don’t want it to project you on someone else? Why is it such a painful experience, I wonder. Persona: This happens when you identify strongly with a person. You know that there is some aspect in that person which you want to be. But sometimes you are so much disturbed that you think that person does not rise up to all your expectations. But I would tell you that this is a better situation, because you can see your persona projected on someone who is just like you. You can explore the potential in you to be like him and at the same time be aware that he is also fallible, as a constant reminder for yourself. There are cases where the Ego fails to see the dark or weak side of the Persona and perceives it only in full –glory, as the epitome of perfection. This can be a tricky situation, since the Ego will soon be disappointed by its ability to rise up to that level of perfection. Ego: Yes, I have seen some movies like Persona by Ingmar Bergman and Mulholland Dr. by David Lynch, which deals with this situation. It leads to a lot of complications, to jealousy, which can even be murderous. Persona: Yes, you are right. Now you know why I am happy that I rest on the face of someone who is not that perfect? This way, you can deal better with your individuation process, and I can stay safe! Commentary On The Conversation At first, I intended to talk to a person on whom I have projected my persona. But I chose to retain my persona as a separate entity which had been projected upon many people until I reached the final one, my teacher, who happens to be an embodiment of many things I admire. However, I had to take into account the dark elements in myself that I had to fight within myself. I used the description of the teacher’s dark side as a means to bring out my inner struggle with the good/bad aspects. I also wanted to explain the relationship between the concept of good/bad and social acceptability of certain behaviors. Since I could not elaborate on every aspect of my individuation process, I relied on the strongly evident ones, which linked my Shadow and Persona and a realization of their co-existence within me. The reference to the two famous movies which deal with the concept of Persona was an attempt to explore the many possibilities of a failure in individuation, which I was trying to avoid. Read More