Background Check Regarding Ex-Spouse - Essay Example

If you do choose to respond to the reference check request, it is not necessary to lie in order to avoid diminishing your ex-husband’s employment chances. However, there are a few pieces of advice you should remember.

First, try to maintain your objectivity as much as possible. This may be very difficult, especially if you and your ex-husband still have some past unresolved issues. Thus, avoid mentioning anything about your personal relationship with your husband. Instead, talk about how he deals with other people, how long he has been in his previous work, etc. The reference check is only meant to validate the information he has provided. Hence, you should not mention anything about how your personal life or marriage life was like or how he was as a husband. Secondly, you should only talk about areas of your ex-spouse’s skills and experience about which you have observed first hand. For instance, if you have not seen your ex-husband at work, then you should explain this to the company requesting this information.

There are several questions you should avoid answering from the company conducting a reference check.

First, it is unethical for the company to request information from you regarding your ex-husband to ask personal questions such as regarding your married life. I asked a personal question, you may respond by diverting the topic and saying that when your ex-husband was employed in another company when you were still together, he was a contributor to the company or his work was appreciated by his superiors. Another question to avoid is, “What weaknesses does your ex-husband have?” The correct way to respond to this question is to say that you are not aware of your husband had any weaknesses that merit attention in his capacity to perform his duties at work, because you do not work in the same company. In other words, answer only the questions that you feel comfortable responding to if you are contacted for a reference check from a potential employer of your ex-husband.

If the company asks you to comment whether you think your ex-husband will be an ideal employee in the position he is applying for, you may refuse to answer the question since you have no way to foresee or predict his performance, especially since you may not be familiar with his role at work or the specific job responsibilities of his job. Unless your ex-husband has a criminal background or has very some serious psychological problems (e.g. mental illness) that an employer should know about, you need not mention his flaws.

Finally, it is always your prerogative to say no to a reference check request. You have all the right to refuse such a request by simply saying that you have already been separated from your ex-husband or that you feel uncomfortable speaking about your ex-husband.

In the end, it is best to just politely refuse the request for a reference check if you are not at ease with it. The company will understand, as it is difficult for an ex-spouse to remain objective. Better yet, avoid being contacted by potential employers of your ex-husband by asking him to remove you from the list of references in his applications.