Hildhood Experience of Male Chauvinism - Essay Example

 Introduction Childhood experiences play a great role in molding the future of human beings. The brain of a child is delicate and vulnerable and its development is influenced by the surroundings within which the child is brought up. Research has been conducted to relate the child’s experiences with the various behaviors witnessed in most of the adults. Although it is said that time heals, a research conducted on a sample of approximately 250 adults by the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) showed that childhood emotional experiences correlate highly with the adult’s emotional and physical health (Felitti 2009). A child who is subjected to abuse or grows in a family with parents who are uncaring or poor may find it hard to integrate with the society due to the negative attitude he/she may have based on the trauma and rejection during childhood. This essay is an evaluation of my own childhood experience of male chauvinism and the effects it had on my later life. Childhood Experiences During my childhood approximately at the age of 5 and being the only girl in the household, I had a lot of pressure which originated from my pestering and abusive brothers who could not at one time appreciate the fact that being their only sister deserved the nice treatment my parents gave me. At my age, I could not understand why I was the main source of conflict between my brothers and my parents. I respected them since they were senior to me and as such, there was no way I could have defended myself though sometimes physical fights erupted when my parents were not around to defend me, of which I always lost. Later in the day the occurrences would have to be reported to my parents especially my father who always showed a lot of affection towards me and the boys would get punished. Little did I know that reporting them would later turn out to be the worst mistake for they would wait for my parents, who were teachers in a neighboring school to leave so they can revenge. It was not until the age of seven years that I realized that depending so much on my parents for protection was not providing much help as they could not afford to be present every time there was a conflict. Being young and feeling rejected developed a feeling in me that I was no good. I felt desperate as this was also affecting my studies. Unfortunately, my father also died of cancer in the same period leaving our mother to take care of us. As such, I felt like I had lost the only person who was my surviving block as he was always on my side even when the mistakes were mine. The situation was also getting worse as my mother could no longer go to work or perform household tasks due to her ailments she suffered in a road accident as they came from picking my father’s body from the mortuary, which to us was a double tragedy. Being the only girl and in the family of chauvinistic brothers, without a father and with an ailing mother meant that all the responsibilities in the house were on my shoulders. Daily chores for example cooking, cleaning the house and washing clothes had to be done. My brothers could not offer their help despite my mother asking them to do so. They always said that those were a woman’s job and as such, it was not within their responsibilities which were limited to taking care of the cattle and clearing bushes around the home compound which was occasional. This meant that there was little time left for me to do my home work as well as to study and as such, my grades in school kept on deteriorating. Once I remember my head teacher punishing me for failing and attaining the last position in my class but as he did so, I managed to grasp a word of advice he gave me which even today works as an inspiration in my life. He told me,” young girl, I’m not punishing you because you are a failure, it is because you have a potential to go against the odds to acquire the best in your life if you only put more effort in your studies.” This opened my eyes and made me realize that life is what you make out of it. The negative attitude I had towards life was the main obstacle to my success, but how could I change my life with all that was happening back at home and at school. There was no way I could have neglected my duties at home which were equally important to my studies. By the time I was nine years old, I had learnt to be a mother and a house wife due to the duties I was performing. My elder brothers were no better and I realized that I was on my own. We always had endless quarrels which culminated into fights. At school, the situation was the same since the society in which we were brought up had gender discrimination towards females. The boys were rude and naïve and in most times forced us girls into having sex with them, threatening us against reporting them to the administration which was not of much help anyway. Despite the challenges, I always felt that there was a way out and to achieve my goals, it was necessary to be resilient. The motivation from my head teacher instilled courage in me which helped in containing the hardships and obstacles that were in the society. I put effort in my studies as well as my other duties which enabled me to raise my grades and earn respect from my male counter parts which was the main achievement I was aimed at. On seeing this improvement, the boys started befriending me so that I could help them with problems especially those related to Math and Science subjects. In my belief which I held since my childhood, God created both man and woman in his own image and as such they should be treated equally and empowered with equal opportunities in the society. Therefore, it was difficult for me to understand why the society discriminated women and the female child. I was full of anger and disillusionment as well as frustration due to the experiences I was going through. As a result, I developed hatred towards men not withstanding their supposed dominance on economic and political issues. However, the childhood experiences though difficult, helped to build and strengthen my character contrary to the belief held by many that they can have a negative impact on a child’s future life. Though this is true, since it has been proved by numerous researches on the relationship between childhood experiences and adult life, it highly depends on the personality of the victim. There are those who are able to forget and move on with their lives, like I did, and there are those who are so much affected that they lead their lives hating the society in which they grew in. When I look back at the difficulties I went through, I try to figure out how different my life would have been was I born in a family that had loving brothers who would have stood by me instead of subjecting me to unnecessary mental and physical abuse with their male chauvinistic characters. On the other hand, I feel that I am an independent woman having experienced the role of taking care of our family in the absence of my father and mother’s assistance. I can work on my own without depending on anyone’s assistance but I am always eager to help and counsel my peers whenever they are faced with similar predicaments. Conclusion Childhood experiences have a great impact on a person’s later life which could be positive or negative depending on a victim’s personality. There are those who spend their lives remembering and suffering from childhood abuse and there are those who completely forget and continue with their normal lives as well as those who take advantage of the experiences to build their character in a positive way. Male chauvinism is a common problem in the society whereby women and girl children are denied equal opportunities as opposed to the men. The political field and economic sectors are dominated by men some of whom may not have higher qualifications than their female counterparts. It is therefore necessary for the various human rights organizations to protect the women’s rights in the society. References Felitti V. The Relation between Adverse Childhood Experiences and Adult Health: Turning Gold into Lead, October 19, 2009.27 October 2009 Read More