Should Parents be Responsible for Their Children's Actions - Research Paper Example

Introduction Parents are usually regarded as the people in charge of children from birth to the period when they attain the age whereby they can be self reliant in regard to making individual decisions. The maturity age varies in different countries. For example in the United States maturity age is 18 years, in England and Scotland, the age of consent is 16 years, while in Latin America it is much lower, being cerebrated at the age of 15 years. The maturity age signifies the capability of a person to differentiate between right and wrong, and to make a sound decision in matters affecting his/her life as well as that of other people. It is the age at which a person is required to take full responsibility of his/her actions (Uniacke 57). Before attaining the maturity age, the behavior of a person is mainly attributed to the parenting style. It is more often assumed that the parent has a great influence on the actions of children since children often do what they have seen others do, and the parent is supposed to be in charge of helping the child to understand good and bad actions. In some instances, the child may act in a unique way that he has never seen anyone else do. Parents are in charge of ensuring that the children learn how to relate with other people. They are expected to teach the children to be respectful to other people as well as their property. This creates a general perception that guides the child in regard to acceptable behavior until he/she attains maturity age. This paper is a critique of whether parents should be responsible for their children’s actions. Responsibilities of Parents and the Actions of Children The behavior of children is largely determined from their moral intelligence. This is the intelligence acquired as the children grow up while observing the behavior of others in the society (Coles 37). Parents are the closest members of the society to the children especially during early childhood when the child develops cognitive capabilities. They need to ensure that the children learn good behavior before they begin interacting with others in school as well as in other social settings. Moral behavior is learned throughout life, but the early stages of development are critical. Parents are required to act as the role models of their children. Kurcinka observes that children tend to learn from the actions of adults (56). If the children witness the parents engaging in unethical behavior such as lying to other people, it is unlikely that they will be convinced that lying is bad. This also applies to other actions such as violent behavior and the use of abusive language amongst other immoral behaviors in the society. In this respect, if a six year old child uses abusive language, or fights other children, the parent needs to be held responsible for such actions because most likely, the child has witnessed such behavior in the parent. Further more, if the child overhears the parent telling a lie over the phone to another person, the child develops the same behavior. The parent who talks and behaves cautiously in the presence of children models good behavior in them. Parents can therefore be held liable for their children’s behavior especially the ones that seem obvious to have been acquired from the parents. However, it is difficult to differentiate the influence of peers from that of the parents. A child interacts with other children at school, who come from different family backgrounds. The parenting style under which the other children have grown may not be supportive of moral behaviors, and their influence may cause a child to acquire unacceptable behavior (Coles 45). Apart from other children, it is possible for a child to acquire bad behavior, from other adults in the society. Even though parents may want to remain informed regarding all the activities of their children, it is difficult to monitor them throughout because of the day to day engagements (Healy 66). For example, both parents may not be smokers or alcoholics, but they may discover that their 14 year old child is smoking, drinking or abusing drugs. The child may engage in such behavior without the knowledge of the parents. Such parents need not be held fully liable for the immoral behavior of their child. In such a situation, the society is to blame. On the other hand, they can be held partly liable for not ensuring that their parents interact with the right company. Parents need to teach their children regarding good and bad company. Parents also need to set standards in the family. The children should adhere to a particular code of conduct whenever interacting or handling other people’s property. A child who respects other people can not use abusive language or act in a manner that may cause damage to their property. The moral standards of behavior help the children to envisage the possible consequences of engaging in particular actions. They are able to make meaningful considerations regarding the reaction of other people towards their behavior (Gray 33). More over, the parent needs to ensure that children are effectively punished for their immoral actions. They may be held responsible for their children’s actions when children persistently engage in wrong doing with the knowledge of the parent. For example, if a parent finds that his/her wine bottle is missing yet he/she has only 2 children living in the house, it would be necessary to ensure that the disappearance is accounted for. This would help in ensuring that the children do not take alcohol. The parent needs to make a follow up to establish where the bottle of wine has disappeared to. In essence, no parent would like his/her child to engage in delinquent actions. This is one factor that needs to be considered when holding the parents responsible for their children’s actions. Coles observes that holding the parents responsible for the actions of their children or punishing them does not correct the child (61). It is important to note that in spite of some parents punishing their children regularly for bad behavior, they might not be successful in correcting their actions and therefore instead of shifting the responsibility to the parents, it might be significant to establish ways of solving the problem while holding the child responsible, and determining the cause of delinquent behavior. For example, if a child throws a stone at an elderly person, it would be important to inform the parents, but holding them fully responsible for the action may leave the behavior of the child unattended to sufficiently. The child needs to be handled as an individual, punished and corrected by an expert. However, parents have to pay for any damages caused by the children. If parents are not concerned with behaviors regarding disappearance of household items and such things as alcohol, it is likely that the children will turn out to be thieves, drunkards, and other such irresponsible behaviors (Brooks 43). For example, when a child is caught in possession of a wine bottle or any household item in school such as a knife, the parent should be held responsible for not keeping track of the disappearance of such items. In case the child induces others to take the wine leading to violence, the parent is also fully responsible for the actions. This indicates that parents need to take full responsibility of managing their households to ensure that the children are not tempted to engage in immoral behavior. When children are taught by parents to comply with the teachers’ instructions, they are likely to view it differently from when the parents are not concerned regarding student-teacher relationships. When they realize that the parent is cooperating with the teacher for their wellbeing, they are likely to be obedient and successful in school. On the other hand, bad behavior among children may be associated with lack of concern (Schaefer & DiGeronimo 34). Parents who fail to make follow ups regarding their children’s performance in school may be promoting bad behaviors such as truancy. Negligence amongst parents is a major factor that leads to irresponsible actions among children. When parents care less regarding the needs of their children, they expose them to antisocial actions. For example, they are likely to beg or steal at an early age to satisfy their needs. The antisocial behaviors that result from such negligence can only be taken to be the responsibility of the parent. This is because the child lacks guidance at a crucial stage in life and is likely to make the wrong decision. Such children lack emotional intelligence and may be unable to interact with others. Passive parenting also results in undesirable behavior due to the fact that the children are unlikely to make a sound decision on their own. More over, they are likely to be influenced by peers resulting in immoral behavior (Brooks 63). Apart from juvenile delinquency that can be largely attributed to the parenting style, the children are also likely to develop other behaviors that may not be offensive, but still undesirable. For example, parents need to ensure that they understand whether their children are suffering from oppression or bullying. Such children might be fearful and also tend to feel inferior to others. They might not be competent in school and may also develop truancy. Such actions may indicate lack of satisfaction in the society. In some cases, it is the parents who deprive their children of the peace they require for effective development. When the child feels at peace only when parents are away or when he/she is away from home, there is likelihood that he/she will find comfort or satisfaction in other avenues. This is one of the major causes of irresponsible sexual behaviors (Gray 33). The parent is responsible for the actions of the children. As much as punishment is important in correcting the behavior of children, parents may negatively influence their actions by using the wrong punishment strategies. For example, there are many actions that parents can take to solve the problem of truancy. The parent needs to engage in the most appropriate action that is likely to help in solving the issue. When parents use the wrong methods of punishment, they are likely to escalate the situation and should be held accountable for the resultant actions (Kurcinka 61). For instance, extreme battering and admonishment may lead to dropping out of school. The child may feel offended especially if he is not made to understand the reason for such punishment. On the other hand, parents may choose to remain silent regarding their children’s behavior and fail to provide them with a particular incentive as a consequence. Both styles of punishment may result in the child permanently failing to behave in the right way. In situations where the parent does not use the appropriate punishment that involves dialogue, the child is likely to hide from the parent and continue with the immoral behavior. Such a parent should be held liable if the bad behavior in the child escalates to cause harm to others. Parents also need to ensure that children are exposed to opportunities such as education. They also need to ensure that they understand the meaning of these opportunities in their lives. When they are given the opportunity to attend school, children are taught moral behaviors and also learn to interact with other children as well as respecting the elder people. Parents who do not take their children to school are liable for any misbehavior that may result from the children’s ignorance. They need to take all the necessary measures to ensure that children acquire skills that are important for their wellbeing. The law in many states does not recognize the perception that children can decide whether or not to go to school. The parents are responsible for providing education until the children attain maturity for them to make their own decisions whether to pursue further education (Coles 62). Conclusion Parents are expected to be in charge of their children until they attain the age of maturity. This is the age where they are capable of making a sound decision. They need to be held responsible for the actions of their children before attaining maturity age. These are mainly the actions that apparently occur as a result of negligence or poor parenting. Children usually learn from the actions of their parents or other adults that they interact with. Parents are therefore expected to exercise moral behaviors especially in the presence of their children. Although parents need to ensure that children interact with members of the society who are well behaved, it is usually difficult for them to keep track through out to ensure that they do not engage in delinquent behaviors when they interact with other children or adults. Parents may try as much as possible to provide all the necessary guidance for their children, take them to school and ensure that they are getting significant advice and still fail to get rid of juvenile delinquency. Not all actions should be considered to be the failure of parents. The responsibility of parents in regard to the behavior of their children should be considered case by case. All factors leading to a particular action should be considered to establish whether the parents are partly or fully responsible, or they are not responsible at all for the actions of their children. References Brooks P. Consequences of Growing up in a Poor Family: the Impact of Insensitive Parenting, New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 1997. Coles, R. The moral intelligence of children: How to raise a moral child. New York: Dutton/Plume, 1997. Gray D. D. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Todays Parents, Perspectives Press (IN), 2002. Healy, J. Your Childs Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning from Birth to Adolescence, Third Edition, Broadway, 2004. Kurcinka, M. S. Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic, Harper Paperbacks, 1998. Schaefer, C. E. & DiGeronimo, T. F. Ages and Stages: A Parents Guide to Normal Childhood Development, First Edition, Wiley, 2000. Uniacke, P. “Childrens consent to medical treatment: implications for the medical profession”. Law Society Journal, 6.2 (1991): 56-58. Read More