The first stage is the relating stage wherein you relate with the subject’s frame of mind. This can be done by being attentive to what he says and at times also paraphrasing and repeating it. This makes the client feel that he was listened to and understood properly and this instils a belief in the client towards the counsellor. The next stage is the understanding stage. In this stage, the counsellor tries to understand the thinking style of the subject. Next is the changing stage wherein the counsellor tries to mentor the subject thereby changing his thinking pattern and thus helping him to solve his problems.
Counselling requires a lot of activities from the counsellor’s side in order to help the subject. The Counsellor needs to create verbal, vocal and bodily communication with the subject (Board 2005). Once effective communication is established between the counsellor and the subject, it becomes easy for the counsellor to understand the frame of reference of the subject. Counsellor should make use of appropriate micro skills in order to establish effective communication with the speaker (Hough 1996). The micro skills constitute of keeping eye contact with the client, encouraging the client throughout by nodding at intervals. Acknowledgement of the subject’s emotions and feelings is also very important (Burnard 1999). The counsellor should make sure that he is not doing any other task at that point of time. Interrupting the client for no reason is also a must do not for counsellors. The counsellors should make sure that the questions which they ask the clients should not be leading ones and should be open questions (Inskipp 1988). Leading questions direct the clients to give the answers which the counsellors desire. The counsellor should face the client in a square position, and should maintain a posture which shows involvement from the side