Modest Proposal-Satire - Essay Example

MODEST War is a problem that has plagued society for years, and as war has become more and more technologically advanced, more and more young men and women are being asked to give up their lives for their country. In the US, recently, the last few wars have been particularly unpopular. In Vietnam, many young men and women were sent by presidents Kennedy, Johnson, and Nixon, to lose their lives, in the name of stopping a political ideology. In the Iraq War, even though Obama has recently deescalated this unpopular venture, under Bush, thousands of young men and women lost their lives not for political ideology, but for no clear reason at all.

And even under Obama, the US is still involved in a deadly conflict in Afghanistan, in which many young men and women are dying on a fairly regular basis. Of course, in these situations, it was not just the US presidents who were sending their forces into war: Ho Chi Minh, Saddam Hussein, and Osama Bin Laden have also been there on the other side, sending their own forces (although fewer young women are among them) to die in the name of a politicized, extremist religion. The solution which I propose to the pervasive problem of war between nations is simple and effective, and it is amazing that no one has thought of it before.

To fully understand the solution, you must put yourself into the boots of a ground soldier. It is no matter what army they are fighting for; you make take your pick. In every case, they are fighting for someone else. They are fighting because someone is telling them that, for example, Iraq has WMD, or that America is the Great Satan. A lot of them are young men and women with no personal, political, religious, or ideological stake in the war for which they are expected to lay down their lives.

My friend Pat from childhood went to Iraq with the Navy; he joined the Navy out of high school as a way to earn extra money for college, and he wanted to buy a sports car, which he was able to do with his signing bonus. Pat did not care about Iraq or WMD: he could not even locate Iraq on a map. He had no personal dealings with, or vendetta against, either Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein. For that matter, he didn’t like Bush; he used him as an example of a person who had a “free ride.

” Now that you know Pat, and how much he didn’t care about the issues before he was sent to Iraq to risk his life, you might wonder who should have been sent, and who should have fought. Here is the simple answer: George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein. They are the ones who showed themselves totally willing to send legions of people like Pat to their possible death and disfigurement. But they didn’t even have to set foot on the battlefield. The real solution is simple: no more troops. Squabbles between nations over issues like political ideology and religion, will now be settled by a bare-knuckle cage match between the quarrelling world leaders, televised worldwide and broadcast for free.

The rules will be simple: the last world leader left standing in the cage, will officially win the war. Although some may argue that this solution will lead to a future of professional wrestlers and kung fu masters as world leaders, I must ask you: does this really seem so bad? Would you really mind so much, if your president happened to also be a Shaolin warrior monk, or Detroit street fighter? Think of the money that could be saved on armies and armaments. Think of the peace that would be ensured, when all wars would be over in 12 rounds or less.

Although some say that big problems don’t have easy solutions, the cage match solution proposed here seems to be an elegant and cost effective solution to the modern problem of war.