However, most don’t apply these techniques and contrast this with other problems that begin to accumulate in relationships.
The first set of concepts that Petersen introduces to the reader is known as the flat – brain theory. Petersen takes the reader through calculated emotions and thought processes that most go through when they begin listening to another person. The flat – brain theory implies that there are different ways in which individuals can listen to another. This includes emotional responses, acceptance of different feelings and application in both the head and heart when responding. With the flat – brain theory, one is likely to not respond with the heart and head, but instead stops listening because of emotional changes. Anger, sadness and other problems may build with the conversation that is occurring. This stops the individual from listening to another and creates a lack of listening to what the other individual is trying to say.
The concept of the flat – brain theory presents the main problem with communication and relationships. Petersen then works to show the reader that there are specific techniques and solutions that can be used to overcome this. The first is to notice the talker that is sharing feelings and thoughts. The individual that is listening is required to look at what the talker is trying to say from the emotions as well as from the mind and heart. At the same time, the listener is required to not become defensive or emotional from the specific concepts that are being spoken about. Petersen continues this with noting that for the talker to create a stronger relationship there is the need to speak without emotions and instead to not accuse or attack the individual that is listening. The next set of techniques is based on the listener. Petersen notes specific goals of the listener in relationship building, including the