4. The speaker needs to work on adding variety his speech patterns more, placing emphasis and stress on the important points he wants to convey. He should add variations in tone and volume, and support with the appropriate gestures.
1. Gabrielle tries to make a strong opening also, but comes across as a bit self-conscious and shy, and this is further underscored by her gestures which are rather frequent and nervous. The beginning is not effective in capturing the audience’s attention.
2. The speech is poorly organized. Her topics are not well-structured. She tended to repeat some things, such as the fact that she wants to help people. She also tended to jump from one point to the next and back again, as in alternating between events in her life (her course, what she wants to take up) interspersed with comments about her personal inclinations, then back again. The topics are not quite ordered in a logical sequence.
There don’t appear to be three main points in her speech, but if there are three main points, they would be her aspiration about what she wants to do, her independence from her parents’ decisions, and the fact that she is aspiring to be a doctor in order to fulfil her desire to help others. The topics are not well delineated, however, as she tends to move among them alternatively.
3. The speaker is more animated in her tone, pitch, volume, and so forth, and tries to relate to her audience by maintaining eye contact with them. However, she fails to establish eye contact with the webcam as specified in the instruction. She tries to avoid note card dependence, putting it down at times and trying not to look at it, but then she picks it up again and looks again at it.
4. Gabrielle should not be too nervous, as she conveys this by her seeming desire to be conversational in her approach, and