Divorce as a Social Issue - Essay Example

Divorce as a Social issue “According to the 2007 statistics, divorce rate in America is 54.8%, second only to Sweden. In countries like India divorce rate is as low as 1.1% only” (Nita). Even though America is one of the highly developed and civilized countries in the world, social evils like divorce cases are more in America compared to some other developing or developed countries. Earlier, American people were highly religious and their religious beliefs prevented them from thinking about divorce. Divorce is against the traditions and teachings of Christian religion. However, the belief in religion and ethics or morality are diminishing at present because of the advancements in science and technology and changing life styles and life philosophies of people. Family concepts have less value in contemporary American society which motivates the people to change their husbands and wives just like changing their dresses. This paper briefly analyses the different dimensions of divorce and the major impacts it may cause to the society and family. Cruel treatment, Impotence, Inebriation, Adultery, Desertion etc were the major reasons for divorce in America during seventeenth century. But in twentieth century, the reasons for divorce changed a lot. Loss of sanity, Instances of incompatibility and Long term separations were the reasons of divorce during the initial half of the twentieth century. However, the reasons of divorce kept on changing and during the latter half of the twentieth century; Increase in the earning potential of women, more social acceptance of divorce, an enhancement in the pursuit of joy (i.e. the possibility to locate a better partner) and the presence of no fault laws were the motivating factor for divorce (History of Divorce in America). The above facts clearly show that the reasons for divorce during ancient centuries were biological or behavioral and more genuine when we consider the reasons for divorce in the present century. Divorce laws were tougher earlier compared to that of the current divorce laws which forced people to think about a divorce only in the extreme cases. However, most of the current divorces are taking place because of silly reasons. Even the husband and wife do not know the exact reasons for their divorce. According to Winchester & Beyer (2001); “during and after divorce, many parents feel guilty and confused” (Winchester & Beyer, p.47). This because of their lack of awareness about the reasons of their divorce and the possible consequences divorce can cause in their future life. “Around the mid-1950s in the U.S. several court rulings and state laws clearly recognized the many instances of no-fault reasons to end marriages. These included long-term separation, instances of incompatibility and loss of sanity” (Bell). As mentioned earlier, divorce laws were tougher earlier. However, the courts started to liberalize the divorce laws from mid twentieth century onwards which resulted in steep increase in divorce rates in America. “Around 50 percent of the marriages ended in divorce in the 1980’s” (History of Divorce in America). Along with liberalized laws, people’s perceptions about life are undergoing changes constantly and continuously. The evolution of feminist movements and the call for equality in all areas of social life by females, encouraged females to take more tougher stands against the dominating male community. Females started to file divorce petitions even for silly mistakes of their husbands and the husbands also did the same. In short, liberalized laws and changes in perceptions about life and philosophy of life encouraged people to think about divorce. Various reasons cited by sociologists and psychologists for the increasing divorce rates in America. Economic problems, substance abuse, alcohol addiction, inadequate or inappropriate sexual relationships, myths, changing life styles etc are some of them. Money or financial problems in the family is the major reason for increasing divorce rate in America at present. The recent recession destroyed the financial abilities of many of the families in America. Many of the husbands and wives in America lost their employment because of recession and other factors which generated financial problems in the family. Couples may have different views, opinions and perceptions about spending of money. If both of them have contrasting spending habits, problems about money spending can develop in the family. The person who likes to spend less may be interested more in saving for the future whereas the person with lavish spending habits may not bother much about the future. These contrasting views about money spending and saving can generate conflicts in the family which can lead towards divorce. Alcohol addiction, substance abuse or drug addiction is another major reason for divorce. It is difficult for a husband and wife to conduct a happy and peaceful life, if either of them have the substance abuse behavior. Substance abuse may often create big clashes between the husband and wife in the family. “ALCOHOL IS THE DRUG most strongly associated with interpersonal aggression and violence alcohols indirectly causing aggression through its effects on cognitive processing” (Ogle & Miller). Same way narcotic drug use and other substance abuse can generate aggression which may destroy the peaceful atmosphere in family. Nobody wants to live in a problematic family. Life is precious to all and nobody likes to sacrifice it by staying with a person of abnormal behavior. Under such circumstances, people will think about divorce like ultimate solutions to settle their personal life. The third possible reason for divorce could be the sexual problems. As discussed earlier, alcohol addiction or substance abuse can increase or decrease the interests in sexual activities. In some cases, either of the partners could be sexually impotent. Sex is the binding force of the concept of husband and wife. Without sex, the concept of husband and wife or family life becomes meaningless. Nobody likes to sacrifice their family life with a sexually impotent person. Sometimes the husband or the wife may have over interests in sexual activities. In such cases, he/she may force the partner constantly for sexual activities without considering the interests of the partner. Such people may also force the partner to engage in unnatural sexual activities or hardcore sexual activities. Such over sexual activities may generate displeasure in the minds of the partner. When the sexual needs of a person unmet in his/her family life, he/she may starts extramarital affairs to satisfy his/her sexual needs. Such illegal relationships will often result in divorces. Marriage is a covenant between the husband and the wife and this covenant prevent either of them from keeping illegal relationships with others. When this covenant is broken, the chances of divorce may develop. All the people may have some preconceived beliefs, views and opinions about their family life. It is not necessary that these beliefs and views would be realistic. Such people will know the realities of family life only after their marriage. In most of the love marriage cases, the lovers try to exaggerate their merits while deliberately trying to hide their demerits. Thus the lovers get a glorified or exaggerated view about his/her dating partner before their marriage. After the marriage, the real personality of the couple will come out and then only they may realize their partner’s real personality. Such couples may start to think that his/her partner cheated him/her and subsequently the thoughts about a divorce may slowly enter in to the picture. Current generation likes to stay together rather than tying their relationship in a marriage. However, because of the pressure from parents, such people may finally decide to marry his/her would-be because of the pressure from the parents. In such cases, forced marriages are taking place. The strength of forced marriages is definitely weak and whenever a small problem arises in family life, such people immediately file a divorce petition. Only 18 percent of black women who married in the 1940s eventually divorced, a rate only slightly higher than that for white women of that era. But, of that far smaller number of black women who married in the late sixties and early seventies, 60 percent have already divorced (Divorce Statistics: Effects on Black Community) The above statistics are clear indications of increased divorce rates among black community in America compared to the white community. The popularity of marriage among blacks is diminishing because of many structural, social and family reasons. The number of females in this social group is more than the number of males which is another reason for the decreasing interests in marriage among this social group. Fifty-six percent of African-American children were born in families in which the mother was not married to the biological father. Of 8.4 million African-American households, slightly less than half are presided over by a married couple. About 4 million African-American children (36 percent) reside with both their parents (African-American Families - African-American Families In The New Millennium) Many people have the illusion that a divorce may affect only a husband or a wife. However, children seem to be the most important community as far as the consequences of a divorce is concerned. Divorce force children to live under the control of a single parent. For the proper mental, physical and emotional development of a child the love and affection of the mother and the safety and security feeling provided by the father are necessary. In some cases, the single parent may try to compensate his/her child for the lost love. However, mother’s or father’s love and care cannot be substituted. Single parenthood, which is the result of divorce, forces the parent to work hard and to leave his/her child in day care centers during their working hours. A nanny’s care cannot be substituted for the care of parents. “A divorce can feel like a big storm. Before the storm, the air may be filled with tension” (Winchester & Beyer, p.30). It is impossible to develop the thoughts of a divorce over a night time. In most of the cases, clashes or arguments between the couples can be observed well before any of them file the divorce petition. In other words, the family atmosphere could be changed drastically when any of the couple develop the thinking of a possible divorce. “Divorce put people, both the husband and the wife, under a lot of stress” (MacGregor, p.87). Many people have the false belief that a divorce may ultimately solve all their problems. However, they will realize only later that their real problems actually begun from their divorce. Thinking couples may have too many worries about the consequences of the divorce. Some people have the belief that increased divorce rate is a threat to the cohesion of American social and family life whereas others are of the view that it is better to allow people to get divorce, if they feel that a divorce is the only option which may save their life. However, it should be noted that, the concept of family life has not started only in recent times. It started at the evolution of human life itself. Holy Bible says that God created Eve as a partner to Adam as He thought that it is not good for Adam to stay alone. In other words, the necessity of a female in a male’s life is underlined by God Himself. The concept of marriage is accepted and promoted by all religions, cultures and castes not only because of the importance of marriage for the reproduction purpose, but also for the social and family cohesion purpose. Family is a place where a person can get physical, moral or emotional support for his life. Divorce may force a person to stay alone which may create emotional problems to the divorcee. Most of the people approach the issue of divorce, emotionally. They will file the divorce petition only because of a momentary loss of control of his/her emotions. Such people will regret over their activities later. To conclude, many people are of the view that divorce should be allowed in order to save people from leading an unhappy life. It is a fact that in some cases, diverse is necessary. If a partner has mental problems or behavioral problems like substance abuse, then it is necessary to seek divorce. Moreover, if the partner has impotency, then also divorce can be justified. However, seeking divorce for silly reasons cannot be justified under any circumstances. Such people should realize that their divorce may not only affect their personal life, but also it can affect the lives of other people as well. Works Cited 1. “African-American Families - African-american Families In The New Millennium”. Web. 05 May 2011. 2. Bell, Roberto. “The History Of Divorce In The Us”. 2010. Web. 05 May 2011. 3. “Divorce Statistics: Effects on Black Community”. Web. 05 May 2011. 4. “History of Divorce in America”. Web. 05 May 2011. 5. MacGregor, Cynthia. “The Divorce Help book for Kids”. 2001. Publisher: Impact Publishers (June 2001) 6. Nita. “Divorce Rates of the World”. Web. 05 May 2011. < http://nitawriter.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/divorce-rates-of-the-world/ > 7. Ogle, Richard. L. & Miller William. R. “The Effects of Alcohol Intoxication and Gender on the Social Information Processing of Hostile Provocations Involving Male and Female Provocateurs”. 2004. Web. 05 May 2011. 8. Winchester, Kent J.D. and Beyer, Roberta J.D. “What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids”. 2001. Publisher: Free Spirit Publishing; 1 edition (June 15, 2001) Read More