Lust, Love & Relationship - Essay Example

Lust, Love & Relationship al Affiliation Lust, Love & Relationship Relationships are determined by the nature in which human interact. A positive relation will imply people interact freely. The natures of relationships vary depending on culture, gender and religion. The moral aspects of a relationship are protected by trust and positivity. The outcome of a relationship may be self-satisfactory or may cause harm to the parties involved. Relationship and love are costly. The result of a relationship would be either monetary or emotional depending on the level and type of relationship. The result of any relation will be determined by internal factors. The essay will focus on the essay by Eliza Kennedy in the New York Times. The article titled ‘When an Open Relationship comes at a Price’ focuses on a love relationship and the factors determining the nature of the relation. The articles outline the monetary aspect and the nature in which it influences the relation. The focus would on how a relationship could be influenced by the external factors. The article highlights the story life of the author during her college days. In her relationship, the author compares herself with other peers. The element of money and financial disparities arises. The author creates an environment where those with financial advantage tend to enjoy love compared to those who are financially disadvantage(Kennedy, 2015). Her envy of her girlfriend suggests the monetary aspect plays part in love and happiness. The author also reflects the level of relationship and her situation as she describes her love as serious as being serious. The article concludes by suggesting that the author’s college life was meant to sample and determine what factors surrounding love. The author indicates that marriage explores is a test of what one had experienced during their teenage lives. The failure to hold marriage would imply that one failed to learn from their previous relationships (Kennedy, 2015). According to Derlega (2014), communication plays part in determining the type of relationship to be experienced by different parties. The length of a relationship will be determine by the level of communication between parties. A close communication model will ensure a loner relationship. In the article the author indicate her love life with her boyfriend begins and ended in collage. The factors behind this could be that after collage the two limited their communication hence breaking their relationship. Communication and relationship have a positive correlation. According to Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, intimacy is a fro of relationship that defines closeness and define the love distance between two parties (Sternberg, 1986). In the author’s case, the intimacy developed during her college years. The choice by the two parties to live together highlights the closeness. The article is in line with Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love were intimacy is defined as a part of the triangle. The failure by the two to extend their relationship beyond the college years defines the impact of communication in a relation. According to Acevedo et al. (2011), love can be defined as an activity and as a felling. In the article, love is expressed as an activity. The relationship between the author and her boyfriend defines love as an activity. The story defines how the relationship was used to ensure a happy life in college. The activity of sharing and living together defines the level of love shared by the two parties. Trust defines the moral aspect of love and one to live with a person; they need strong components of trust. In the article, the author defines the level of trust that existed at their college years as being naive given her closing statements. The author highlights a perfectly matched model according to Sternberg’s Triangular Theory. The inseparable character of the two indicates the important aspects outlined in the triangle. A perfect relation is defined by different factors outline in the triangle. A person possesses all the traits and finding a perfect match would mean highlighting equilibrium between the pair. Jealous forms part of the relation aspects. Jealously would be exhibited by parties that tend to experience some sense of misbelieve and low self-esteem. According to Erber and Erber (2015), jealousy, would be defined as a driving point in a given marriage. In the article, the author’s jealousy components arise from the financial advantage of her friend. The author considers the other relationship to be perfect drawing her comparison from the monetary perspective of other couples within the college setting. According to Acevedo et al. (2011) long- term relation, create a bond and hence the psychological perspective. In the authors case the tendency to create unsafe environment defines how love can create a jealous environment where the parties fell dissatisfied by their current situation. The relationship between the author and her partners is affected by external factors. The author admits to have been interested in the financial status of her friend and showed less interest to their relation. Ironically, their relation survived only during their college years. The authors perceptive of money define the reason behind the short relation. The author represents dissatisfaction within relationship. The failure to meet her monetary targets prompted her to break their relationship after completing college. The author defines how the situation is different in marriages relationship. The author highlights serious components within the marriage relationship. According to Erber and Erber (2015), a perfect relation defines how a person identifies their match and work on similarities. In the authors story marriages defines a more serious relation where focus remains on the nature in which both parties communicated and interact. A perfect marriage defined the perfect model described by Sternberg (1986). External components push the perfect model to closely misplaced model. In this case, commitment and passion remains constant but intimacy changes. The mismatch in intimacy is what defined the author’s final years in college. Marriage is a long-term commitment and the long-term relation will mean the three factors need to be equal from both parties. The failure to match the three factors would means failed marriages. The issue if highlighted by the author in her final submissions where he explains how she had learned from the short relationship in her college years. Love can be defined as a game. According to the John Lee’s Six Kinds of Relationships, the different types of relationship define a person’s commitment and involvement with a second party. The theory defines love as a game. The game in the article highlights how the author was able to play for survival in college and highlight how she quit the relationship on realizing other priorities in life. The essence of survival in a college life is all about determining survival tactics. From her narration, it is evident that she struggled financially during her stay in college. The only way she would survive was to play a game that would favor her motives. Her boyfriend in college in this case was her means of survival. Comparing the Acevedo et al. (2011) research on closeness and time factor in love, it is evident that survival was the only reason the author lived with her boyfriend. Upon attaining an added advantage in the competitive employment market, she quit her relation and in essence adapted another aspect of love that is could lead to marriage. The author definition of aspects of love dominates the article. The first aspect of love is sharing, in college the author and her boyfriend shared common gander. At their final year in college, the two part ways thus creating an open space where the author would experience a more mature love. The new job seekers then shift their love from on e with fillings and apply the second aspect, which is activity. Their future activities disadvantages their relation hence need of both to quit the relationship and adapt new aspects. The next relation according to the author would lead to marriage. The author outlines trust, love and communication effective in a long-term relation. The author aligns the aspect of experiment in her love experiences. In the experimental on may quit a relationship due to failed expectation. The nature of success would be determined when the relationship last for a longer period. John Lee’s Six Kinds of Relationships define love as both realistic and practical. In this case, the relationship between the author and her collage lover was experimental. The love outlined her weakness and defined what to endure while in a relationship. Her more practical love is experienced in her marriage where issue need to be taken more seriously. The author however defers with the six-relationship theory. In her perspective, both kinds of love are experimental and hence could go against expectation. A relationship is a learning process according to the article in that if one fails to meet expectation he or she may seek other channels to explore love. In the article, money has replaced the traditional components of love. Love is no longer self- sacrifice. The author highlights how love is experimental. The author however states that her passion is driven by her economical success. The aspect of money arose during her college years. Her financial quest is the reason as to why she is married. Other external factors would change the manner in which she perceives her husband. According to Erber and Erber (2015), conflicts due exist in a love relationship. The nature of resolution depends on the two parties involved. In the article conflicts are only resolved through separation. Her separation with her college boyfriend paved way for her current husbands. Her tone suggests that a second option is always available. Erber and Erber (2015) indicate that selflessness is what defines an agape love. In the authors, perceptive love is defined by satisfaction and issue of sacrifices does not exist. In conclusion, the article outlines how relationship could be influenced by the external factors. The love for money and work commitment ends the author’s college relationship. The author however represents different theories of love. In matters commitment, the author commits herself to the college lover due to their similar circumstances. Her marriage is driven by the fact that she is satisfied finically and emotionally. Lack of emotions and describing love as an activity is what defines the author’s beliefs. It is evident that relationships are defined by the manner in which the two parties explore the internal environment. The external factors can be avoided and it is up to the parties to work on their trust. Communication is outlined as a means of strengthening relationships. The failure by parties to communicate would jeopardize relationship. Communication is also used to resolve conflict. In resolving conflicts, the nature of relationship becomes an integral aspect. Reference Acevedo, B., Aron, A., Fisher, H.E., & Brown, L. (2011). Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 10.10 retrieved from doi:10.1093/scan/nsq092. Derlega , V. (2014). Communication, Intimacy, and Close Relationships. London: Academic Press Erber, R and Erber, M.W. (2015). INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS: Issues, Theories and Research. (Custom Edition for Syracuse University), Boston: Pearson. Kennedy, E. (2015). When an Open Relationship Comes at a Price. New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/style/when-freedom-comes-at-a-price.html?_r=0 Sternberg,R ( 1986). A Triangular Theory of Love. Psychological Review, 93.2 PP. 119-135 Read More