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Malnutrition in Children and Preventive Measures - Essay Example
Pages 8 (2008 words)
Malnutrition in Children and Preventive Measures SMARTHINKING's E-structor Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay…
I hope you will find my comments helpful as you continue to revise your paper. *Strengths of the essay: You have included a number of shocking supporting statistics. For example: “In the sub-Saharan Africa the number of children who are undernourished (low weight for age) has increased from 90 million in the year 1970 to 225 million in the year 2008. It has been projected that it would increase by another 100 million by 2015 (Teller & Alva, n.d)”. This very powerfully brings to significance of the problem to the reader’s attention. Well done. You now have an excellent draft to continue to refine. Well done. ?Now, let's take a look at it! *Marco 2638165 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis: Marco, the thesis appears at the end of the introductory section and should tell the reader what the paper is about. Your thesis seems to be: The topic has become important [because] of the increasing number malnourished children and it has been pointed out that in the first two years intervention should be made so as to prevent malnutrition and its consequences. While this does make your topic clear, it does not indicate the focus or scope of your paper. ...
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