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The Effects of Immediate Skin-to-Skin Contact - Essay Example

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Summary
The writer’s point in this paper under the title "The Effects of Immediate Skin-to-Skin Contact" appears to be about the impact of skin-to-skin contact between mother and child immediately after the birth of the child. The writer achieves to state categorically the thesis and an outline of the research question which are…
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The Effects of Immediate Skin-to-Skin Contact
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Peer Review of the article: The Effects of Immediate Skin-to-Skin Contact Does the make clear his or her PICOT in the introduction, including what research concepts (from the text and the class notes) are going to be addressed? If not, write here what you think the thesis is for this analysis and what questions are being addressed, but are not listed. The writer’s point in this study appears to be about the impact of skin-to-skin contact between mother and child immediately after birth of the child. To this extent I believes the writer achieve to state categorically the thesis and an outline of the research question which are; the skin-to-skin attachment between mother and child after birth is essential for bonding and what is the effect of delayed skin-to-skin contact for up to one hour? respectively. To these extents both thesis and question are addressed adequately. However, a more likely research question not brought out though slightly discussed is, “what are the long-term effects of immediate skin-to-skin contact when compared to delayed skin-to-skin contact? 2) Are the links between the concepts and examples in the research articles clearly made? If not, list here some issues that were left out or some important examples from the article that were left out. Yes, the writer has clearly made the links between the concepts and examples in the research article. A clear point of reference is when the writer mentions that, effective mother and child skin-to-skin attachment leads to proper bonding, and then correlates the same with a question that asks the contrary effect supposing there is no attachment for a period more than one hour. The writer also expresses that early skin-to-skin attachment affects emotional attachment of the baby to the mother including breastfeeding, physiological and neurobehavioral responses for up to one year. However, a great concern is expressed that too much concentration is made on the bonding rather than on the baby’s health should be checked hence the question, “How is the optimal bonding experience obtained?” the writer should have elaborated more on this topic to enhance the readers’ perception and clear understanding of this concept. This could have been achieved through the use of an appropriate question as illustrated above. 3) Does the writer use research terminology appropriately and correctly? If so, give some examples of good uses. If not, put an asterisk (*) in the margin where the vocabulary should be more clear and specific. The writer does truly make good use of the research terminologies appropriately and correctly. Research terminologies are key words meant to define the concepts of the study and the manner in which they are applied in the study should be able to outline the basis of the research findings (Ferber & Makhoul, 2004). The use of these terminologies is as clearly elaborated in the paper under review. For example, on page 5 of the draft document, line three, the use of the word ‘success rate’ is essentially applied to indicate that the rating of the research has been considered by the writer as appropriate and correct. Key words for the study such as neurobehavioral, physiological and emotional are used appropriately in their immediate contexts to highlight the themes to which they are supposed to be determining and elaborating. The use of these words appropriately signifies a concrete relationship in the concept being studied and so the writer achieves this well by letting the ideas flow in a logical manner. 4) Does the paper follow a clear organizational pattern? Do the body paragraphs appear in a logical order? If not, suggest which paragraphs should be moved and where. Does the paper flow smoothly? If not, put a question mark in the margin where you were confused. Yes, the paper follows a clear organizational pattern in terms of paragraphs structure and arrangement. The paragraph organization in terms of pattern and objectivity in the text seem to be well managed. The paragraphs follow a logical order in defining the concepts in the study and their relational organization. Beginning with the introductory paragraph to the conclusive paragraph, a logical order is shown in development of the thesis statement and its justification in an orderly manner. No succeeding paragraph talks of a totally different idea out of focus but instead, introduces a different concept based on the discussions from the previous topics in the preceding paragraphs. However, it is noted from the paper that the sentence structures from the paragraphs seem to be very long leading to the paragraphs being long too. The writer should ensure a concentrated analysis and development of ideas in precise and concise paragraphs that cannot like discourage a reader from skimming through the paper easily to capture the facts therein. 5) Does the writer give enough information from the research articles to clearly support his or her thesis? If not, put a wavy line ~ next to paragraphs that need more details, illustrations, or examples. Yes, the writer does truly give enough information from the research articles to clearly support and aid in developing the thesis statement. Part of the information given by the writer is from related texts such as those from Ferber, Mori and Moore et al. From all these texts the writer borrows relevant information and facts that are used to develop the thesis and in bringing out the deeper aspects of concept under study. By giving appropriate information, the writer applies strong argumentative essay skills by the use and application of the subject language in a right manner. This paper is a nursing paper and it is for this reason that the writer uses a lot of biological and nursing related terminologies to highlight the concepts. It is also worth noting that he writer has at all times proved in the paper to be relevant to the topic of study without deviating to other related concepts. This flow of information shows maturity of the writer in addressing the concepts under study in the paper. 6) Do you notice any errors in GMP (grammar, mechanics, punctuation)? If so, put an X in the margin where you see a mistake. Yes, the writer commits several errors both grammatical, mechanic as well as in punctuations. These are as outlined below: Error Paragraph Line Correction Any 1 14 Many ‘of’ omitted 2 1 Add ‘of’ Then 2 2 than Boding 2 3 bonding you hold this skin-to-skin 2 5 you hold the baby in this skin holding skin-to-skin 2 6 holding the baby skin-to-skin showed the mothers 2 10 showed that the mothers on breast-feeding 5 2 on the breast-feeding of a special 1 8 of a significant it is important 1 16 it is essential it is important 3 2 it is beneficial Comma omitted-Now 3 1 Now, if an infant were held 4 8 if an infant was held reaction to skin-to-skin 5 3 reaction of skin-to-skin 7) What advice can you give this writer to improve the draft overall? My advice to the writer is to try and improve on their vocabulary use in the essay and also to ensure that all sections of the paper that contain wrong sentence structures are corrected. Consequently, the piece of writing is short to be considered to have reached the threshold required for writing academic papers. Another thing is that the structure of the paper is so poorly done not even with headings and sub-headings. The writer should therefore learn the essence of such matters when writing such a paper as this as this will give the paper a more professional look and make it appear that it was well researched. For instance, the paper lacks critical sections such as the literature review which should have elaborated on the past literature reviewed in relation to the stated topic and thesis under discussion. It is also extremely essential that the writer avoid being too much wordy in the paper particularly in a single sentence without having the paper separated by punctuation marks such as commas or even semi-colons. In my opinion, the writer as well ought to consider properly citing the paper as the in-text citations are confused from one style to another. If you choose to use APA style, then the in-text citation should be the same throughout the paper. For example, on page 5 of the draft, the citation years for Carfoot are not put into parentheses as is required by the rules governing the style. Reference Ferber, S., & Makhoul, I. (2004). The effect of skin-to-skin contact (kangaroo care) shortly after birth on the neurobehavioral responses of the term newborn: a randomized, controlled trial. Pediatrics, 113(4 Part 1), 858-865. Read More
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