Grief in Times of a Loss - Essay Example

These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Over the years, statistics have proved that other situations of loss can cause people to undergo the aforementioned emotional stages.

According to Kubler-Ross, the first stage implies dealing with the grief of losing a loved one; this stage is denial. “It is a temporary defense and will soon be replaced with partial acceptance” (Kubler-Ross, 1969). Denial is a state of unbelief when one first hears the news of the fateful event or death. The person is in shock and wishes that this is only a dream or a passing wind. In the Bible, Job lost all his wealth when he was tested by the devil. In one single day, he lost his ten children, thousands of household animals including sheep, oxen, donkeys, and camels. After receiving the news, Job fell and worshiped God, which is a contrast to Kubler-Ross's theory. Secondly, after acceptance, persons get angry and go out to seek reasons. Job got angry on hearing the news of the loss; he tore his mantle and shaved his hair but did not express his anger to God. Additionally, he cursed the day he was born. However, he did not ask why all that was happening in his life but he reckoned that he came naked to the earth and he would leave the same way.

Thirdly, Kubler-Ross observed that people get into bargaining with their maker or the universe about their loss. In contrast, Job accepted his maker’s wisdom and did not try to bargain. Fourthly, a person becomes withdrawn, gets into depression, and wonders whether life is still worth living. Likewise, Job felt helpless and his wife would tell him to curse God and die as a last resort. Lastly, Kubler-Ross observed that patients in terminal illness would eventually accept their fate and seek out a normal life again. Similarly, Job accepted the will of God and did not heed his friends and his wife’s request to curse God. He received a double portion of his prior wealth. The stages of loss, as suggested by Kubler-Ross, may not apply to Buddhism, which is a funerary religion. The Japanese poems dwell so much on death and eternity and regard it as a new way of looking at life or as new enlightenment. Additionally, they believe in cycles of rebirth and wondering oils, which gives them an aspect of accepting loss as the will of their Nirvana.

A strong relationship exists between joy and the above grieving models. Joy is a state of happiness contributed by good things in life. For instance, health, not dying, love optimism, hope, and admiration. According to Kearney & Griffin, parents draw joy from talking about the success of their children as affectionate, beautiful, generous, or cheerful. Joy is the opposite of grief and does not exist in isolation of grief. Drawing two circles and naming one joy and the other grief, the place they meet at is a combination of both joy and grief (Kearney & Griffin, 2001). At one point, one is happy about their life and success but at the back of their mind, there is a possibility of death, sickness, or loss of job. Therefore, people interact with grief as much as they interact with joy in their daily lives.

I concur with Kubler-Ross method of grieving. News of the loss of a loved one or a terminal illness leaves devastating Effiong one’s life. However, each person takes a different turn on receiving such news. Some will go straight to acceptance; others follow the five steps, while some may remain in denial forever. According to the Good Therapy website, “reaction to loss that can encompass a range of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, and is experienced differently by each person according to his or her culture, background, gender, beliefs, personality, and relationship to the deceased or loss” (“Good Therapy,” 2012). Grief is a natural feeling that flows naturally from the victim. Therefore, it is close to impossible to dictate someone to follow a certain order when caught in a loss. However, this research has broadened my thoughts on how I view grief, why I should assist persons in grief, and why others do not grief at all.