Are love affairs good ways in dealing with unhappy marriages - Essay Example

Where a spouse feels neglected or overwhelmed with work or family responsibilities, they may end up cheating. Undeniably, reasons for having a love affair vary where research has shown that it is possible for a marriage to survive an incident or incidences of infidelity. However, the issue is whether a love affair is a solution to an unhappy marriage to which I think it is not. This is because of the emotional fatigue that it brings on both parties where the cheating partner is plagued with guilt and the other feels betrayal.

In addition, it raises trust issues that are difficult to resolve even over time. At the same time it is crucial to acknowledge that unhappiness in marriage is relative where one feels that their marriage is merely an obligation and they do not desire to be with their partner, then a divorce makes sense and avoids love affairs (Bernstein). Personally, I know of my cousin that started a love affair when her husband had to start travelling often because of his work. The love affair was with a neighbor, someone around the same age bracket as her husband that is a freelance interior designer.

My cousin and Gary, the interior designer, had been acquainted but got to spending a lot of time together when she decided to give a face-lift to the house as she was on leave after undergoing eye surgery. I remember meeting Gary at my cousin’s house a few times when I visited her on weekends as we usually have sleepovers just to talk and catch up as she advises me on school and life in general. I never suspected anything until once I saw them at a restaurant together after my cousin had just come from cancelling our monthly sleepover saying that she was caught up with work stuff that she needed to catch up on.

I decided to confront her about it as I wanted to shut the idea of her cheating out of my mind. She admitted and went on to state that at my age I would not understand the pressures of marriage. This angered me as she was being defensive implying that she knew what she was doing was wrong, yet still she continued with the affair. It was hurtful for me as I have always looked up to her as a mentor and her undermining my ability to understand the pressures she was facing made it worse. The affair went on to last for three months with her husband never having a clue.

He came to found out when she had a pregnancy scare and decided to tell him upon realizing that the guilt was taking a toll on her. Fortunately, her husband forgave her and chose to continue on with the marriage. My aunt, her mother, being a single parent felt guilty once she found out as she felt it was her fault. She even apologized to my cousin’s husband personally. This made it worse for my cousin and this brought her to the realization that marriage is hard work as it requires open, constant communication.

This is because her reasons for cheating were that she felt emotionally neglected where if she had talked to her husband about it then probably the affair would not have happened. Her husband acknowledged that his work had preoccupied him and resolved to spend more time with her. It became clear to me as well that unhappiness cannot validate a love affair as there are no perfect marriages both parties have to work at their relationship. Nevertheless, if one party feels that they have given their union their all, they should end the marriage first before starting a