Conflict in Married Couples - Personality Predictors of Anger and Upset - Research Paper Example

Conflict in Married Couples: Personality Predictors of Anger and Upset Introduction In this article David M. Buss is contemplating on the issue of conflicts in the relationship of married couples. Here the author is attempting to question the reason behind the conflict arising between different couples in their married life. Here the main reasons for the conflict have been depicted as angriness and misunderstanding arising between married couples. In this article the author has conducted qualitative research to analyze the reason behind the conflict arising between married couples. The personality of the couples has been studied in order to understand the defects in personal behavior of individuals bound in married relationship. For a successful married life, couples should possess right attitude, love and passion towards each other. Here the real hypothesis is to understand the mating behavior pattern among human beings and the underlying biological process involved in this activity. It is obvious fact that most of the misunderstanding arise among couples due to ego issues where a win – win situation arise (Marco) “Most conflicts are in areas that have more than two alternatives. If you do not like the choice your partner wants, and your partner does not like your choice, with a little more effort you might be able to find another alternative that you both like and want”. The author has examined the behavioral pattern of both men and women in married life to come to conclusion which is logical. The real subject examined in this article by David Buss In this article the author is examining the real reasons behind aggression among married couplesand how the spouses react to each other in varying situations. According to author (David)“A series of hierarchical multiple regressions revealed the effects of Urgency, Agreeableness, Conscietitiousness, Emotional Stability, and Intellect on evoking upset in spouses through conscientiousness, abuse , unfaithfulness ,inconsiderateness , moodiness , alcohol abuse, emotional constriction , and self-centeredness” .The author has collected data from various couples in order to understand the difficulty they face in their married life. Most of the time women are victims of abuse as men are indulging in alcohol and drug abuse and also react violently to their spouses. Moreover, the reproductive interest of men and women are different as men are always in an urge to spread his gene by natural instincts. Here the author has pointed out the anger and aggression rising in relationship is due to the over expectation they have from their spouses and this happens mostly in case of couples who are married due to love. Spouses even indulge in sex with the other people that are extra- marital affairs usually due to unsatisfied sexual urge. Methodology Used in the Article by David Here the methodology used by David is qualitative method and data has been collected from various spouses to understand their personality aspect and attitude towards marriage. Samples were collected by means of three sources, self-report, spouse observe report, and independent interviewers reports. The information provided by the author is reliable as it is supported by National Institute of Mental Health. This journal is addressing the underlying issue for the spouses getting aggressive with each other and why marriages fail in long and short term durations. The article insists that emotional instability is the reason for alienated behavior among couples. Conflicts usually arise in family life due to differences in opinion between the spouses and people possess unique characteristics traits and weaknesses. As per (Lian, 2008, pg 97-107) “Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in every close relationship, including marital relationship”. Here the author has used self report which is in the form of questionnaire and is filled by spouses according to their real life experience. This kind of research methodology is highly trust worthy as the information is of primary nature. Next is spouse observe report wherein the behavior of couple is observed by the author and conclusions are made .Last but not the least is interview report where author has interviewed spouses and understood their sour experience in married life. All the methodology used in the research is reliable as it is first hand reports. Personality aspects and its relation to marriage and relationship conflicts The author has explored on some personality aspects in this article so as to avail information clearly to the readers about conflicts arising among romantically and marriage wise involved people. Here the mating pattern, attraction and romanticism are given importance in order to analyze the conflicts arising in married couple’s life. These can be explained as follows: 1) Agreeableness: Agreeableness is needed in marriage as only this trait can lead to a prosperous marriage. Non – agreeable relationship arise when both the spouses are competitive and educated and the author is convinced in imparting the fact that agreeableness is an important factor for successful mating and marriage life. 2) Conscientiousness: This is an important quality to be imbibed by the spouses in order to lead successful mating and married life. According to (Roberts, 2007) “Personality traits predict mortality, divorce, and occupational attainment as well as, if not better than socioeconomic status and cognitive ability”. 3) Emotional stability: Emotional stability is one of the most required traits in married or romantically involved couple’s life. Emotions play a significant role in relationship as it keeps the mating behavior between men and women strongly bonded. 4)Intellect / Openness: By openness and intellect author means that right things should be done at right time in a relationship in order to avoid clashes between men and women in a relationship. 5) Urgency/Dominance: Even though it is ironical, dominance to men in a relationship increases the chances of success in married or romantic relationship. The main reason is women get carried away in emotional manner but men are strong emotionally and physically, even though this is a fact which most of women are reluctant in accepting. Concluding with Susan Fiske and David’s article comparison Fiske elaborates those Men’ scent can attract women in an unbelievable manner. In earlier times it was the natural scent of men and women attracted each other in order to mate. Nowadays, Men and women have changed their attracting power by holding on to fashion accessories and perfumes and scents. According to (Fiske 2010, pg 4)”Based merely on the scents of shirts worn recently by unknown men, women can, to a significant degree; assess the men’s physical attractiveness”. When explaining about social psychology and mating behavior of men and women, the brain and physical senses are tuned well enough to enhance the reproductive quotient of social beings. Simply explaining, the evolutionary advancement of human beings has led to change in the social and cognitive behavioral pattern of mating behavior in social beings. In totality , it could be described that one cannot expect a perfect social life between a man and women as they are naturally tuned in such a way that compromise and sacrifice need to be imbibed by both the parties to lead a successful married life . Men and women before marriage mostly seems to have a peaceful relationship with each other but as they enter marriage, the relationship gets sour due to freedom they have in the relation and the egocentric characteristics in their personality. In the end it could be well said that the author David has been successful in understanding the valid reasons for marriage conflicts and relationship break downs. Work Cited Fiske, S. D. (2010). Handbook of social psychology (5th ed., Vol. 2, p. 3). New Jersey, NJ: John Wiley & Sons. Lian, T. C. (2008). A STUDY OF MARITAL CONFLICT ON MEASURES OFSOCIAL SUPPORT AND MENTAL HEALTH. Sunway Academic Journal, 5(2), 97-107. 1.Mamdouh, M. (2012). A Clash and conflict in Married Life. In Penmai. Retrieved March 7, 2012, from http://www.penmai.com/forums/married-life/6279-clash-conflict-married-life.html Roberts, B. W. (2007). Research Interests. In Internal Psychology . Retrieved March 10, 2012, from http://internal.psychology.illinois.edu/~broberts/Brent%20W%20Roberts%20Research%20Interests.htm Read More