A Married home is better for children than a Divorced home - Essay Example

A Married home is better for a child than a Divorced home in terms of his or her behavior and psychological health Introduction Over the past years marriage institutions in the world have taken a significant change. Many of the marriages in the current world end up in divorce. It is estimated that the current divorce rate in the world is hovering around 50 percent. This means nearly a half of all the marriages in the world end up in divorce. United States is one of the countries with the highest rate of divorce according to the report by international studies of countries. Currently, US records 49 percent of divorce rate which is close to the world’s average. According to sociologists, high rate of divorce experienced in the world can be viewed as a problem. However, regardless of how family is viewed in diversity, increase in divorce has a greater influence on economic, political and social context around the world. In addition, the margin between marriages and divorce is also increasing over the years. This is according to the analysis by the American community survey conducted between 2009 and 2011. They found out that the ratio of new marriages to divorce ration in United States was two is to one. This shows that the rate of children living under one parental care has increased drastically. This has made a lot of couples and children to have emotional scars lasting throughout their lifetime. On the contrary, marriages have played a key role in the development of children in the society this is because they help in promoting stability and quality of families. This paper discuses the behavior and psychological effects of divorce to children. This is in an effort to support the thesis that married homes are better for children than divorced homes in term of their behaviors and psychological health. Effects of divorce on psychological health and behavior of children Divorce leads to destructive styles of conflict handling in children Children from divorced families have destructive styles of handling conflict compared to those raised in intact families. They acquire this incapability from their parents who ends up into divorce due to their inability to solve and handle marital conflicts. According to Fagan and Churchill, college students brought up in a divorced environment are more prone to violence while resolving conflicts than those from stable marriages (Fagan and Churchill 31). Children from divorced couples are also associated with unhappiness in their marriages. This is because they are prone to escalating conflicts with their marriage partners. They also initiate frequent arguments and sometimes assault their spouses physically while arguing. This results in the likelihood of divorce being transmitted from one generation to the other. According to world marriage survey, 40 percent of people engaging in marital conflicts across the world have a background of divorced marriage (Fagan and Churchill 38). Divorce diminishes social competence in children Divorce and marital conflicts in the society has placed children competence at risk around the world. This is as a result of reduced responsibility and high punitive behavior of parents towards their children. Many children are left with insecurity in their emotions making them to be the worst troublemakers in the society. Poor social competence leads to uncontrollable and unpredictable behaviors in children. These behaviors make them engage in stealing and fighting in various social institutions for example, schools. According to Hauser, these behaviors are transmitted from divorced parents who portray low affection and responsiveness (Hauser 338). In addition, lack of competence make children from divorced marriages to depart away from their homes and families as compared to those raised by stable couples. This is caused by weak family harmony and cohesion. Girls will move away from their families to marry or live on their own due to unhappy experiences in their families. It is estimated that about 80 percent of children from divorced marriages in the world end up leaving their homes at an early age to cohabit and start their new homes (Hauser 342). According to the research conducted by the Kent State University, children from divorced families have poor peer relationships as compared to those raised in intact families. They mostly display resilient and vulnerable behaviors. It is noted that children’s antisocial behaviors decrease because of the dysfunctional conditions of their families. Dysfunctional families in the society prior to the divorce lead to the worsening of the child’s social behavior. The current statistics show that about 70 percent of the children from divorced parents do not portray good relation with others in the society (Fagan and Churchill 51). Divorce diminishes the sense of masculinity and femininity in children Many teenagers from divorced families around the world struggle with inadequate feelings in their lives. These feelings in some situations lead to erroneous judgements of being rejected by other children in the society. Girls from divorced families find it difficult to value their femininity, and in some siuatuions, find themselves to be genuinely unlovable. This reduces their confidence of relating with other people. They mostly feel isolated and rejected in the society around them. In some situations, when the father becomes the custodian of the children, girls lack mothers as models to emulate, and this reduces their ability to have feminine characteristics. According Hauser, many girls raised in a divorced marriages and ranging between 9 to 12 years lack self confident due to poor relationship with theit mothers (Hauser 337). Boys, on the other hand, suffer from poor masculinity. This reduces their confidence to relate with fellow peers in the society. Instead of having musculine identity, they change their behaviors by developing a feminine identification. This is due to lack interpersonal skills from their fathers. According to Hauser about 90 percent of boys raised in divorced marriages acquire feminine characteristics from their mothers, because they spend most of their lives with them (Hauser 332). Divorce increases trouble in dating among children Parental divorce makes romance and dating difficult to their children when they reach their adulthood. This behavior is acquired from parents who frequently fail in dating and maintaining their romantic relationship. The effect is carried on to their adulthood, making them incapable of handling relationships. In most cases, a lot of women raised in a divorced parenthood are overwhelmed by anxiety when making decisions concerning their marriages. On the contrary, a woman brought up in a stable family develops love, friendship, and a feeling of security from her parents. She acquires confidence that allows her to be free when making future marriage decisions (Parke 2). In addition, children from divorced families have a positive attitude concerning divorce and less favourable attitudes concerning marriages. This reduces their lifetime commitment in their marriages. Men will mostly engage in hostile behaviours towards their partners and always engage in conflicts whenever a disagreement arises between them. They are, therefore, unable to sustain their couples in their relationship. Girls, on the other hand, will fear getting into a relationship, because they fear disappointment similar to what they observed from their mothers. According to Judith Wallerstein’s study on divorced children around California, she found out that many girls failed to satisfy their romantic ties and thus getting into a decision of not getting married (Fagan and Churchill 51). Divorce makes children to have out of wedlock partners and multiple sex parners Children from divorced parents are more endorsed into premarital sex compared to those raised in intact marriages. This is because most of the divorced mothers find themselves working full time and thus they have less time for their children. Most girls raised by one parent engage in risky sexual activities with the likelihood of getting early pregnancies. According to report by National Longitudinal Survey of Youth over 40 percent of girls below eighteen years from divorced marriages engage in premarital sex In addition, there is also a high probability that children brought up in divorced marriages will have children out of wedlock. This is because they do not highly value families and are thus unable to stabilize their marriages. It has been noted that many women whose parents are divorced have children born out of wedlock. On the other hand, men from the same marriages are also likely to have children with other women. This behavior leads to cohabitation and dramatic rise of the probability of divorce in their marriages. This shows that the issue of divorce can repeat itself from one generation to the other (Hauser 344). Divorce reduces learning capacity in children Children from divorced families have reduced learning capacity compared to those raised in stable marriages. This is due to the lack of proper parental care from both parents. Divorce in the family has a severe effect on the minds, hearts, and souls of the children. In some situations, they do not receive proper financial and emotional support from their parents. This affects their behaviors and social maturity. This is in contrary to children raised by stable married couples who receive maximum care and protection during their childhood. Children raised in this environment have higher wellbeing, because parents’ guidelines lay a strong foundation of their social life. Lack of proper parental care reduces the performance of children in school since in most situations they are unable to concentrate on their learning. They basically spend most of the time comprehending conflicts in their home between their parents (Fagan and Churchill 47). In addition, parents who gain the custody of the child after the divorce do not give maximum care to him or her. This is because after their divorce they also experience sets of problems in their lives. They are, therefore, unable to adjust to their new intrapsychic issues and thus neglect their role as parents. Many mothers around the world are faced with the stress of their divorce, thus damaging relationships with their children. It is evidenced that children raised from divorced families receive less support compared to children from intact marriages. This affects their education performance, since they are emotionally affected by their parents’ divorce (Parke 5). Divorce increases crime rate and suicide among children Children from divorced families have recorded a significantly higher inclination to crime as compared to those brought up in intact families. According to Hauser, children from divorced families mostly engage in juvenile delinquent behaviors and other risky acts in the society. This is because they have not received maximum guidance from their parents. Some of the parents neglect their responsibility of taking care of their children, and thus the latter do not receive the required moral support (Hauser 330). On the other hand, many children from divorced families end up committing suicide. This is triggered by the children’s thought that their parents have neglected them. They find their parents to have lesser interest in them and, therefore, think that it is reasonable to commit suicide. This is specifically due to weaker bonds between them and their parents. Weaker bond between parents and children leads to breakdown of communication. This is because children develop mistrust of their parents (Fagan and Churchill 39). Conclusion There is no doubt that families are the building blocks of every society, while marriages form the foundation of this block. The type of family in which an individual has been raised plays a great role in his or her behavior and social development. Divorce is said to have a pervasive effect on children, since it leads to weakening of their behaviors in various social institutions. Children brought up in divorced families are physically, emotionally, morally, and intellectually weaker compared to those raised in stable families. In addition, behaviors and psychological health of children is greatly affected by the nature of their families. This is because children need care and love from both parents during their early childhood. It is, therefore, clear that married homes are better for children than divorced homes in terms of their behaviors and psychological health. Works Cited Fagan, Patrick F., and Aaron Churchill. "The Effects of Divorce on Children." Marriage and Religion Research Institure. 11 January 2012. Web. 08 June 2012 . Hauser, Robert Mason. Indicators of Childrens Well-Being. New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2000. Print. Parke, Mary. "What Research Says About the Effects of Family Structure on Child Well-Being." Center for Law and Social Policy. 17 May 2003. Web. 08 June 2012 . Read More