The Psychology of Attraction - Essay Example

? Love at First Sight: The Psychology of Attraction Schools Number and of (e.g., October 12, 2009) Love at First Sight: The Psychology of Attraction It seems that time ceased to be in its proper motion when I caught a glimpse of her blue eyes, which perfectly compliments her brown curly hair. Her plain jeans and t-shirt failed to conceal her voluptuous figure. She possesses an endearing smile that made my heart skip a beat. According to Holmberg & Blair (2009; as cited in Kalat, 2010, p. 480), this phenomenon can be explained through individual’s biological predisposition to be drawn to physically attractive men or women. In a particular study, researchers conducted a blind date among 332 freshman couples for a dance before the classes began. Participants were then asked to fill a questionnaire, but the researchers opted to randomly pair the participants (as cited in Kalat, 2010, p. 480). The researchers separated the pair and asked each participant to rate how much he/she liked his/her partner. Findings indicated that physical attractiveness heavily influenced their rating. Other factors such as personality, intelligence and similarity of attitudes failed to account for the attraction they had with their partner (as cited in Kalat, 2010, p. 480). In another study, researchers assess which partners the participants will prefer to meet in an extended period of time after speed dating. Findings of this study are consistent with those of the previous studies in entrenching that physical attractiveness highly determines the choice of the participants (as cited in Kalat, 2010, p. 480). The question of why individuals put value on physical appearance arises. However, researchers stress that men tend to put more value on the physical attractiveness of their partners compared to women. Women tend to be drawn towards financially stable partners. A study conducted by Kalat (2010, p. 484) provided evidence for such premise. He asked men to choose either a) a woman who is extraordinarily attractive and works as a waitress in a small restaurant or b) a woman who looked average and patented an invention as a potential partner. In contrast, he asked women to choose between a) a man who is extraordinarily attractive and employed as a waiter at a restaurant or b) a man who is average looking and patented an invention as a potential partner. Findings suggest that men opted for partners who are physically attractive, while women tend to be drawn towards financially stable partners (Kalat, 2010, p. 484). Evolutionary perspective explains such differences between opposite sexes. Women’s physical attractiveness signifies good health; thus, it increases the likelihood that the man’s genes will survive. In addition, it would indicate that woman is capable of giving birth and rearing her child. Meanwhile, women are drawn towards financially stable partners as it increases the likelihood that these partners can provide for their family. However, the question of whether financial stability remains valuable or not for women arises as the current society fosters economic equality among the two sexes. In addition, it is interesting to know how evolutionary perspective can explain the attraction among individuals who are homosexuals, bisexuals or transsexuals. The evolutionary perspective offered insights into my tendency to be drawn to physically attractive women. However, I could not stop pondering upon what makes an individual attractive. Kalat (2010, p. 481) asserted that individuals considered as good looking have a normal appearance. Most individuals rate a composite face with an average distance between the two eyes, average nose and the like as highly attractive. This image is derived from averaging the photographs of individuals’ faces. Thus, findings suggest that an attractive individual has average features. However, Pink and Penton-Voak (as cited in Kalat, 2010, p. 481) noted that attractive faces also possess few irregularities such as skin blemishes, assymetries, and crooked teeth. This leads to the next question of why individuals unknowingly consider average look as attractive. Researchers explain that individuals who have average looks may be associated with being healthy (as cited in Kalat, 2010, p. 481). I thought that my preoccupation with that woman will end at that particular moment. Somehow, I expected that she will be one of those faces who will have fleeting impression in my mind, but I was surprised to see that familiar blue eyes and curly hair in my neighborhood. Finally, I got the nerves to exchange pleasantries with her. From our conversation, I learned that she was an exchange student from U.K. I immediately grab the opportunity to familiarize her with our culture and places around town. Upon numerous meetings, I have learned that we have more in common even if we grew in different countries. She shared passion for music and for animals. It came to a point where there is an undeniable attraction between us. Social Psychologists assert that liking is the result of proximity and similarity. These researchers further explain that individuals tend to like those who live near them (as cited in Larsen, Ommundsen, & Veer, 2008, p. 126). Proximity offers a means to repeatedly meet, and this consequently elicits a sense of familiarity. Researchers termed this phenomenon as mere exposure effect. Mere exposure effect eventually leads to likings as it creates a sense of security and safety. In addition, individuals have the tendency to be drawn towards those who share similar attitudes and values. Similarity leads to liking as it provides a foundation for understanding the other individual (as cited in Larsen et al., 2008, p. 126). This explains why our proximity and similarity lead to mutual liking. Days passed in an instant, and fear in my heart grew. I dreaded the moment of letting her hands go, so I gradually detached myself from her. Somehow, a part of her has grown in me, and it makes it harder to envision life without her. A thought occurred in my mind that perhaps science can offer means to stop being attracted to someone. Perhaps, I can be easily drawn to someone who is physical attractive with her no longer by my side. Perhaps, forgetting is as easy as explaining the mechanism underlying attraction. However, I know deep in my heart that any attempts to explain a phenomenon will cease to capture the moment. In that certain moment, I only knew that I like her and everything else did not matter. I was solely driven by instinct to seize the remaining time that I can hold her in my arms. I hurried towards her home as fast as I can, and luckily saw that familiar blue eyes and curly hair. References Kalat, J. (2010). Introduction to psychology. USA: Cengage Learning. Larsen, K.S., Ommundsen, R., & Veer, K. (2008). Being human: Relationships and you: A social psychological analysis. USA: Rozenberg. Read More