Narcissism and Romantic Relationship - Term Paper Example

? Romancing a Narcissist Noor Iqbal Northern Virginia Community College, Loudoun Psy 202 TuF 8am Narcissism is a personality trait which impacts an individual’s sense of autonomy and controls making these individuals perceive themselves as unique and superior, it also has a great impact on their frame of mind, their level of commitment when in a relationship, their perception and behavior towards a partner and who they are attractive to. Research conducted by Baldwin, Miller & Campbell, 2008, on the subject shows how narcissists view themselves as influential, competent and self-sufficient also tend to feel that they are disliked by other instead of being socially acceptable as unique and special. As far as romantic behavior is concerned studies conducted by Foster et al, 2006; Le, 2005; and Finkel et al, 2009, go to show how the main aim of narcissists as far as relationship formation is concerned is to enhance their self-esteem instead of the want to experience intimacy; Also that their inability to commit is due to their need to maintain power and autonomy. Building on this notion Campbell and Foster, 2002, conducted research to analyze the impact of narcissism on commitment in ongoing romantic relationships. Furthermore as far as the romantic attraction of narcissistic individuals is concerned Campbell, 1999, introduced a working model that showed how narcissists are highly likely to be attracted to individuals who are not just highly positive but also those who tend to admire them extensively. Title Introduction The Roman poet Ovid highlights an ancient Greek myth which narrates the story of Narcissus, the protagonist who falls in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. This can clearly be looked at as a tale of romantic attraction. The handsome youth who scouts the globe to find the one who he deems worthy of his love. Eventually, coming across his own reflection and becoming so enamored with the flawless replication of his image that he declares his aversion to commitment to anyone else but himself. The vast amount of research conducted on narcissism indicates that modern narcissists undergo a similar aversion to intimacy as that of the mythical Narcissus. In this essay a basic understanding of the concept of narcissism and an analysis of the literature conducted on the subject will be conducted. Special attention will be paid to the literature that is related to narcissism in context to romantic relationships. Concept definition Narcissism can correctly be defined as the personality trait in which individuals tend to undergo an inflation of their sense of control and autonomy. This has a direct impact on their perception of how intelligent, attractive and appealing they are (Brown & Hill, 2004). Not just that, there is a tendency in these individuals to perceive themselves as being unique and superior (Emmons, 1984). Furthermore, Campbell et al, 2004, refer to the notion that these individuals also experience a sense of entitlement; more specifically, they believe that they deserve added benefits and special attention. It is due to these tendencies that they tend to be more defensive and prone to aggression and distress when they are criticized. It is also why they care little of the needs of others, displaying a purely egocentric perspective. Narcissism can also be conceptualized as a personality disorder. Historically, it has been viewed in a number of ways including paraphilia, pathological self-love, heightened introversion and a personality type. However the focus of the research is purely on narcissism as a personality disorder and its implications on romantic relationships. The Narcissistic frame of mind Research shows that majority of times individuals that exhibit narcissism often view themselves as influential, competent, and self-sufficient but also feel that they are disliked by others instead of being readily accepted as unique and special. Consistent with this notion, is research undertaken by Baldwin that showed that narcissistic individuals often perceive their initials as attractive, but less liked when compared to other letters. The extent to which an individual perceives his initials as attractive is an indication of their sense of authority and agency. On the other hand the likeability of these initials is a reflection of their sense of acceptance. This proposition goes to explain how these individuals display aggressiveness in their interpersonal relationships. That is, when they feel powerful and special, it reaffirms their ability to win in conflicts, which provokes an aggressive temperament. So they indulge in conflicts, mainly because they do not feel accepted and so believe that any kind of discord won’t undermine their current relationships. This leads one to assume that the personality of narcissistic individuals is laced with high extraversion but low levels of agreeableness (Miller & Campbell, 2008). Narcissism and Romantic behavior Narcissistic individuals mainly form relationships which aim to enhance their self-esteem or reputation instead of their want to experience intimacy, warmth or candor. For example, to boost their self-esteem narcissistic individual’s look for relationships in which they can highlight their personal qualities and achievements as well as associate with appealing members of the opposite sex. However, they avoid relationships that comprise of closeness or empathy (Foster et al, 2006). When in a romantic relationship these individuals undertake a number of maladaptive behaviors. These comprise of infidelity or game playing and enjoy exerting control over the other person. Their insistence at avoiding commitment is a direct result of maintaining a sense of power and autonomy (Le, 2005). They also have a higher tendency to be unfaithful and seek out alternative partners. Despite all that, there is research conducted by Finkel et. Al, 2009, that goes to show that individuals who have the tendency to be narcissists can be as committed in relationships as other individuals. This study conducted by the researchers comprised of exposing some individuals to pictures that epitomize communal or supportive inclinations, for example an aged man aiding an elderly female in a wheelchair. Then there were participants who were simply exposed to pictures of neutral objects, like a tree. The results of the study indicate that the subjects that had been shown the communal photographs had a tendency to perceive themselves as committed, dedicated, loving and loyal positively relating to the extent to which they had been narcissistic. This extent was determined using a Narcissistic Personality Inventory test. In case the participants were not shown these pictures, their level of commitment was inversely proportional to narcissism. Generally speaking communal motivations have the tendency to be dormant in individuals that display narcissistic behavior. However the opposite is the case as far as communal motivations in normal individuals is concerned. So basically, through the activation of these motivations narcissistic individuals would benefit and change but this doesn’t hold true for other participants. Narcissism and level of commitment in relationships Campbell and Foster, 2002, conducted research to analyze the impact of narcissism on commitment in ongoing romantic relationships. The two studies conducted by the authors were based on the prediction that there would be a negative relationship between narcissism and the level of commitment; it would be this association which has a great impact on the framework of the romantic relationship. That is the level of satisfaction, personal investment and available alternatives. It was due to the lesser commitment experienced by narcissistic individuals that they tend to be less accommodating. The first of the two studies conducted showed that narcissism was negatively related to commitment; a notion that was further reaffirmed by the use of a mediational analysis. This revealed that their lack of commitment was a key result of the developed perception of narcissists of alternatives to their existing relationships. The second study conducted by the researchers replicated the findings of the first study. However it incorporated additional measures of alternatives. Even though it remained to show that narcissists were seen to be less committed to their current romantic relationship, this weak link was due to their perception of availability of alternatives as well as paying attention to other available dating partners. Narcissism and romantic attraction Campbell, 1999, conducted extensive research on a model that aimed to study the implications of narcissism on romantic attraction. The study conducted showed how narcissists are highly likely to be attracted to individuals who are not just highly positive but also those who tend to admire them extensively. It was also seen that narcissists were less likely to be attracted to individuals who had a higher tendency to be emotionally intimate. The researcher undertook five studies to gain support of his model. The first study showed how the narcissistic individuals in comparison to non-narcissists, had a distinct preference for more self-oriented, that is highly positive, romantic partners. The fact that they placed little importance in other-oriented qualities, like caring, was also a finding of the first study. The second study showed that narcissists tended to be highly attracted to hypothetical targets that had a tendency to be overly attentive and admiring toward them. Their attraction was in comparison very low when it came towards caring and warm individuals. The third and the forth studies, reaffirmed these findings showing how narcissists had a clear preference for highly positive non-caring individuals in comparison to thoughtful but not highly positive individuals. The last phase of the final study was based on the conduction of mediational analyses that showed how a narcissist’s romantic attraction is directly related to how much of their self-esteem is being enhanced by the other individual. Foster and Campbell in 2005 conducted a similar research which aimed to look at the level of commitment by narcissists when in a romantic relationship. Their hypothesis was based on the notion that narcissism would be directly linked with a resistance to doubts as far as committing to romantic partners was concerned. This resistance was completely in discord with a healthy relationship dysfunction which was mostly followed by doubts. In support of this hypothesis it was found that narcissists had more difficulty in the completion of a task which asked for an individual to list down reasons as to why their romantic partners were less committed. In conclusion to this task it was found that narcissism was linked with less relationship dysfunction, this was defined as a noticeable lack of commitment, higher desire to accept dating invitations from other individuals, and higher tendency to use a more game-playing love style. Conclusion With their perception as unique and superior narcissists have an inflated sense of autonomy and control which leads to their expectations to be treated by others as special. This explains their aggressive behavior in terms of wanting to feel powerful by asserting their authority through conflicts with their partners. We also view how their main goal to be a part of a relationship is to inflate their self-esteem and reputation instead of the more common reasons like the need to feel intimacy, warmth and trust. Research by Le and Foster et al, goes to show how it is this primary perception and goal definition that narcissistic individuals have a tendency to have commitment issues, avoid closeness in a relationship and have a higher probability of being unfaithful. It also explains their unhealthy relationship dysfunction and their ability to be highly attracted to individuals who are overly admiring and forthright instead of traits like emotional, warm and trust. References Brown, R. (2004). Vengeance is mine: Narcissism, vengeance, and the tendency to forgive. Journal of Research in Personality, 38, 576-584. Campbell, W. (1999). Narcissism and romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 1254-1270. Campbell, W. ., Bonacci, M., & Shelton, J. (2004). Psychological entitlement: Interpersonal consequences. Journal of Personality Assessment, 83, 29-45. Campbell, W., Foster, C. A., & Finkel, E. J. (2002). Does self-love lead to love for others. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83, 340-354 Campbell, W. & Foster, A. (2005). Narcissism and resistance to doubts about romantic partners. Journal of Research in Personality, 39, 550–557. Emmons, .A. (1984). Factor analysis and construct validity of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. Journal of Personality Assessment, 38, 290-300. Finkel, J., Campbell, W. K., Buffardi, L. E., & Rusbult, C. E. (2009). The metamorphosis of narcissus. Personality and Social Psychology, 35, 1271-1284 Foster, D., Shrira, I., & Campbell, K. (2006). Theoretical models of narcissism, sexuality, and relationship commitment. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23, 366-387 Le, T.N. (2005). Narcissism and immature love : vertical individualism and ludic love style. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 542-560. Miller, D., & Campbell, K. (2008). Comparing clinical and social-personality conceptualizations of narcissism. Journal of Personality, 75, 447-475. Read More