Influence of Grandparents on the Development of Grandchildren - Book Report/Review Example

? Role of Grandparents in Grandchildren’s Lives Role of Grandparents in Grandchildren’s Lives A significant role has always been played by grandparents in the lives of their grandchildren. However, as time passes on, the roles that grandparents take in bringing up their grandchildren are changing and grandparents are playing ever different roles in the lives of their grandchildren. This has been caused by a number of significant factors that are taking place within societies such as economics and social changes. The role of grandparents in the lives of their grandchildren is changing from just secondary roles to primary roles. These roles include paying up college fees, providing for housing and any primary financial needs the child may require. This is as opposed to the earlier times when grandparents’ only financial contributions to their children were for secondary things such as gifts and holidays. Literature review A number of studies indicate that grandparents of the current generation are carrying a much bigger burden on the upbringing of their grandchildren than the grandparents of before. According to The Company You Keep (2011), grandparents are now taking up more important roles in providing financial support for their children’s children. More than two million grandparents in America are playing a major role in their grandchildren’s lives such as taking daily care, paying rent and sending them to school (The Company You Keep, 2011). Dolliver (2005) also agrees on this observation and says that this trend is going to go on for a longer time. However, William (2009) doesn’t think that there have been any significant changes in the way the older folk are contributing to their grandchildren’s lives. He argues that the only grandparents who are forced to contribute financially to the upbringing of the grandchildren are those who failed to bring up their children (the parents of the grandchildren) well. The increasing phenomenon of bringing up their children is also playing a major role in developing personality types in the children. Having grandchildren in the family is more likely to help the children have a sense of family and belonging. In their paper however, Jesse and Gregory (2011) argue that the current changes that have been seen in the roles of grand parenting are as a result of the changing of the social-political topography. They cite two things to support this argument. One, they argue that the current technological and education changes have made the older parents and grandparents to feel inadequate to be counselors of their grandchildren, because they feel that their grandchildren already know more than them. Secondly, the economic conditions have changed and younger parents are unable to pay off such things as college fees for their children and the grandparents are being forced in to the equation. These two factors together have changed the role of grandparents from wise old counselors who give advice to their grandchildren to potential financial bailout providers. This observation goes with what Dolliver (2005) argued in his paper. Those children who are brought up by their grandparents are likely to develop positive personality traits such as honesty and integrity. This as Jesse and Gregory (2011), say is because the children are more likely to listen to their grandparents than their parents. As a result, those children who have the benefit of having their grandparents participating in their lives are more likely to enter into delinquency. However, there is a difference between those who are solely brought up by grandparents and those who are brought up both the grandparents and the parents. McDonald (2009) found that those children who are brought up by their grandparents are more able to develop a sense of responsibility. As Arthur (2011) points out, the roles of the grandparent may be more complicated than most people think because grandparents play very many roles that are more implicit than explicit, such as brining a sense of social security to the youngest as well as the older members of the family. Many parents report that they have been having a hard time explaining to their younger children about the whereabouts of the children’s grandparents. Such children are known to continually ask questions such as “when are we going to see our granny?” Psychologists say that while this kind of behavior can be easily dismissed as childish behavior, it really does point to an important issue that must be addressed before it gets out of hand. This is because such children are more likely to develop problems related to emotions. These findings shed some light on just how important the role of a grandparent is in a family and how it is often ignored by many people. Other scholars however site other things that have contributed to the changing of parenting roles in many societies. For instance, sudden deaths of the grandchildren’s parents, abandonment or neglect are some of the factors that are leading to grandparents having no choice but to roll their sleeves and start all over again. This argument however may not be entirely true as it fails to cite how mortality rates have changed for middle aged men. However, McDonald’s (2009) study seems to support this argument because it showed that those people who manage to go past the age of fifty are much more likely to live for another thirty to forty years, as opposed to those in the middle aged years. This study, which labeled the middle-age as the fatal age, showed that grandparents, who pass this age called the safe age, are more likely to have to bring up their grandchildren if their parents don’t make it past these years. This study is a controversial one and the results may need more validation for it to be taken seriously. However, it does provide a very good view on how the roles of grand parenting are changing. Grandfathers and grandmothers have different parenting roles Studies also show that grandfathers have different roles from grandmothers in the parenting of their grandchildren. Dolliver (2005) and William (2009) for instance, found that grandfathers were more likely than grandmothers to pay their grandchildren’s college fee or offer to buy them a home. This phenomenon is quite strange especially due to the fact that the opposite of the findings is what would be expected. As more and more grandparents are taking up financial burdens for their grandchildren, there is a high need to know how these old people are managing to offer this financial support without an income of their own, with only their retirement pension as the only source finance. The impact of this is that the children will develop certain attitudes towards life and this affects them in the way they develop social abilities that are important for them to interact with others. The study done by Olover (2009) showed that more and more grandparents are now expecting to take financial burden for their grandchildren and actually preparing for the same. This brings up two issues with regard to the personal and emotional development of the children. First, they will benefit emotionally by having a sense of security and knowing that grandma will provide and secondly, they will learn the importance of being there for other people. However, as Dolliver (2005) argues, this may also affect them negatively, making then irresponsible and carefree because they know someone will take care of their problems. Other scholars have also found that the roles are split between the grandfather and the grandmother. For instance, in cases where the grandfather was the breadwinner of the family and the grandmother was the homemaker, the roles may be structured according to this and the grandmother may only afford to give the children other forms of parenting other than providing financially. Arthur (2011) however agrees with the above findings and actually confirms that grandparents were found to be more resistant to offer financial handouts to their grandchildren. Jesse (2011) attributed this to the fact that older men are more likely to have more personal and selfish things to do with their money such as drinking and even investing. Grandmothers on the other hand may not have much else to do with their money, but are also more likely to be more empathetic about their grandchildren. Gerald and Wilson (2009) in their study confirmed this and found that data indicated that grandfathers were more likely to be apathetic of their grandchildren’s problems more than the grandmothers. In this regard, in cases where a surviving grand parenting couple is taking full care of the child, the roles are more likely to be split as opposed to when the grandparents are only offering a helping hand to the parents of the grandchildren, who are actually the ones with the main burden of bringing up their child. Other roles Apart from being financial providers, grandparents also have other roles that they play (Dolliver, 2005). According to The Company You Keep (2011), traditionally, grandparents have always been mediators between their grandchildren and their parents. This as McDonald (2009) notes is especially so for those grandparents who are involved with teenagers, because teenagers are more likely to be at loggerheads with their parents and be in peace with their grandparents. Grandparents and especially the grandmother may be the symbols of peace and cohesion in a place where the teenagers are not at peace with their parents. These grandparents offer solutions and also offer guidance and advice to their grandchildren as well as the parents of the teenagers. This as William (2009) argues, has been the model of a perfect family and any family that lacks a grandparent may be more likely to produce young adults who may be frustrated in life or have to go through a really rough patch of their lives as they grow up. While this relationship is seen to be falling apart by some people such as Olover (2009) who believe that the older people are refraining from acting as advisors and preferring to be watching bystanders, there is still evidence that most of grandparents are treasures source of wisdom and courage to their extended families. The children look at them as a source of inspiration and a source of belonging because they present a strong family tree (Dolliver, 2005). Olover (2009) however refused to agree with this view as he believes that more and more families are being forced to live away from their grandparents, hence the grandparents are less able to offer their parenting skills to the children. This however is debatable as the assumption being made here is that distance can fully disable the grandparents from being able to offer moral and emotional support. This is not true especially in an age where communication and travelling across distances have been made easier. Cultural and ethnic differences in the roles and functions of grandparents Cultural and ethnic differences play a major role in determining what ways and by how much grandparents play a role in their grandchildren’s lives. For instance, as the The Company You Keep (2011) points out, Caucasian grandparents are more likely to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives out of will, while African Americans are more likely to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives as a means to close a gap that the parents of the children have being unable to close. African-American grandparents are more likely to have a closer relationship with their grandchildren and the grandparents may take the children to live with them. Caucasian grandparents are more likely to offer financial help to their grandchildren than the African American grandparents. According to his study, Caucasian grandparents are more likely to have a plan ahead of time on how to bring up their children such as planning to pay for their college fees in case the parents are not able to do so. Another factor that has been seen to be a determinant in the way the grandparents get involved in their grandchildren’s lives is the social economic class that they may belong to. Those from the lower social economic classes are more likely to contribute to their grandchildren’s financial needs as the parents may be working class parents, who may not afford the expensive things such as education for their children. Because the grandparents are more likely to have more money from their retirement plans and they also have fewer financial obligations, the grandparents may spare some money to assist in paying up financial obligations for the children’s needs. Overall, the role of a grandparent in a family is too important to be ignored. Some sociologists argue that grandparents are very good social catalysts and that they can be very useful in most social situations where the younger people may not be able to handle things. This is because they are less diplomatic and they may able to freely share their opinions and tell someone to the face what they think is the best thing for the person to know. References Arthur, D. (2011). Grannys and Parenting. International Journal of Home Economics, 17-21. Dolliver, M. (2005). Examining The Role Of Grandparents In The Lives Of Their Grandchildren. Retrieved from http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising/examining- role-grandparents-lives-their-grandchildren-81353 Gerald, D. W. (2009). Split Parenting, Going back tot he Roots. Journal of Psychology, 29-32. Jessee, P. (2011). The Grandmother: Role in the Family. Family Economics Journal, 89-91. McDonald, O. (2009). Changing Roles in parenting: Understadingthe Role of the Granny. Juournal of Psychology, 45-47. Olover, D. (2009). New rules for Parenting . Journal of Psychology, 34-45. The Company You Keep. (2011). Grandparents Take on a New Role: Raising Grandchildren. Retrieved from http://www.newyorklife.com/nyl/v/index.jsp?contentId=15041&vgnextoid=9225ce42249 d2210a2b3019d221024301cacRCRD William, P. (2009). Family and economics: the Role of family Strucure to Microecomics. Journal od Economics Studies, 22-23. Read More