Summary of Why Don't We Listen Better - Movie Review Example

? Summarize Summarize Petersen, J. (2007). Why don't we listen better Communicating & connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications. Summary of the Book In the book, the author brings out the strategies that people can employ when they want to become competent listeners. Jim seeks to explore the way people communicate and the role, which should be played by the sender of the message and the receiver during a communication endeavour. From reading the book, it is evident that listening while communicating or having a conversation calls for more than merely hearing the words of another person. As such, there should be a lot of attention by both the person doing the talking and the listener in order to ensure that the communication process is successful. In order for communication to be effective, both the sender and the recipient of the message should know their roles in the communication process. This way, they will follow the protocol and the rules of the communication game (Petersen, 2007). The author outlines how the human mind works and what determines human actions, especially during communication. Based on Petersen’s arguments, the “Flat-Brain Theory of Emotions” can be used as the basis to explain what happens to humans when they communicate. This theory brings the feelings, as well as emotions, which people posses when they communicate. According to the author, the best way to become good listeners is through engaging in a conversation through listening while at the same time talking to the other person. This way, effective listening is enhanced; as the person engaging in the conversation will focus on what is being said (Petersen, 2007). The book also examines and focuses on the techniques, which can be used while listening and calls for an evaluation of techniques to examine which ones can be regarded as better than others. Every listener in a conversation should be aware of the techniques, which work out best for them and focus on such techniques since they can help them improve on their listening skills. The book explores various ways, which can be employed when using these techniques in conversations where a person is expected to listen and talk at the same time. The book also explores the levels of communication, which are two as stated in the text. The first level of communication encompasses exchanging information between the talker and the listener. In the second level of communication, feelings and trust are explored where the parties in the conversation reveal their true intentions in the communication process (Petersen, 2007). While concluding the book, the author gives examples of how effective listening and talking can be enhanced. Petersen proposes the theory of “Flat Brained Syndrome”, which he contends is useful while addressing problems faced by people who have issues with listening. The author concludes that the use of competent listening and talking skills can go a long way in helping a person communicate better when having a conversation. Communication skills are essential and should be employed in a conversation so as to ensure that the message exchanged can be understood by both parties. Response to the Book This book relates to me in numerous ways; most of the parts in the book give a description of information, which in one way or another describes my experiences when communicating with others. As I go through the book, I got to understand the reason why I strive to express dominance in every conversation I have with other people. As such, the book is about me in that it explores my desire to express dominance in conversations. In most of my conversations with my friends, I tend to do much of the talking while I like it when my friends listen to what I say. This has led to conflicts with my friends on numerous occasions; as they have perceived me as domineering. More often, I tend not to listen to what my friends say, but rather opt to do all the talking myself in order to appear as the best in a conversation. By reading the book, I have learnt that I should not always try to dominate over my friends when having a conversation. Rather, I should listen keenly to what my friends have to say since they are also well informed about some issues in which I may not have adequate knowledge. Reading the book has taught me valuable communication skills; as I have learnt that effective communication requires that a person listens to what other people say. As one listens to what others have to say, it is also crucial to give feedback based on what a person hears from others. I rarely take other people’s opinions into consideration, and this may be the reason why I find myself in conflicts with most of my friends. While my friends may be having knowledge in some issues, reading the book has taught me to be attentive to what they say. The success of a conversation is based on how well we listen to what others have to say. Reflection to the book After reading the book, I have gained valuable insights, which will help me understand conversations and the varying dynamics of communication. I have learnt that communication is a crucial aspect of social life. As such, communication should be effective when having conversations with colleagues at the workplace, business partners, family members, and friends. Listening is essential when one wish to achieve efficiency when working with other persons. Having good listening skills in a conversation can be termed as vital; as it prevents disagreements with friends and with other persons with whom one has relationships. It is essential to listen to what the other person says pay attention until they finish talking. As soon as the other person finishes speaking, you can now start talking and base arguments on what they said. This book interests me because it explains why people experience difficulties while listening. Based on the flat-brain theory, the book explores why people engage in worthless conversations and arguments just because they did not listen to what others said. From reading the book, I have also gained insights on the benefits of effective listening for a successful relationship. People get along with one another because they listen; for the first time, I have realized that conflicts in conversations emanate from the failure to listen to what other people say. I am also amazed to learn that there are some techniques, which one can employ in order to ensure that they are successful in listening. What concerns me about the book is that it does not address some of the shortcomings, which may be experienced when a person strives to listen effectively. The book does not address issues such as the inability to tolerate the person speaking, which may affect listening. Taking Action From reading the book, I am certain that I will make immense changes in other people's lives. The book is particularly resourceful with information about essential skills that can be utilized in order to improve communication, especially with regard to listening skills. One of the ways in which I will improve my relational style is that I am going to be more attentive than ever before when engaging in conversations with other people. My conversations with other people will be guided by the ability to listen carefully, which I am sure will help me gain an understanding of what other people are saying. In addition, I will make sure that other people give me time and listen to what I have to say. This way, communicating with other people will become effective. The other in which I will improve my communication skills is through recognizing the role of emotions in communication. It is evident from the book that emotions play a crucial role in communication. It is vital to listen to other people as they let out their negative feelings and emotions, especially when they are engulfed by anger. Counsellors should note that letting out emotions has a cathartic effect. Thus, clients should be allowed speak their heart out and give their opinion on what they feel. This way, the counsellor can come up with strong intervention strategies, which will be based on the emotions expressed by the client. It is crucial to let the client express themselves freely; as this enables the therapist to have the basic information regarding the client’s experiences. Another technique that I have learnt from the book is ensuring that, in every communication endeavour, all the participants engage actively in the process. As such, people engaging in conversations should have an interest in the other person. During active listening, the client becomes comfortable to open up to the therapist. This way, it is easy for the therapist to come up with ways of helping the client address his or her issues. Being active while listening to the client is essential; as it helps to have an understanding the body language that the client wishes to communicate. Active listening helps to understand the tone of the voice of the client and wholly understand what the client wishes to say. Active listening requires encompasses the use of some techniques such as looking at the client face to face. Having eye contact with the client portrays that the therapist has some interest in the client and is willing to listen to what the client says. Listening should also encompass active response to what the customer says. In order to continue talking with the client, there should be an immediate response, which should be given directly when talking to clients. Listening should also have an aspect of focussing what the client says. It is essential to ask for clarification from clients in order to understand them wholly. Moreover, counsellors should continually engage clients in meaningful conversations so as to ensure that their situation is understood. Read More