Marriage in Crisis - Essay Example

Marriage in Crisis Abstract It is clear from the presentation of the case study that Jessica and Luis have a very difficult relationship. While the two of them do seem to want to stay together, Luis’s behavior has become a threat to himself, Jessica, and the children. Therefore, his problems need to be addressed and considered. In order to try and counsel this family, a few methods can be used to assist them. The first method is that of a genogram, which can provide a helpful family map for the family, and may also demonstrate that, in the case of Luis, there is a pattern of abuse relationships going back through the generations. After this, the next step is to analyze the families based on the multi-generational transmission concept. Since it is generally accepted that those who were abused generally repeat the cycle by becoming abusers, this is probably the case with Luis. By allowing him to understand this and reviewing his own feelings as a child, he can develop empathy for what he is putting his children through. Furthermore, some of the issues Jessica is causing also need to be addressed. Jessica’s relationship is unstable, as Bowen argued that many two-person relationships are. Therefore, to bring about stability, she tends to involve her older son. This is unhealthy for her son, since he is too young to understand fully the repercussions of what is going on. Therefore, this situation needs to be addressed, and Jessica needs to be taught alternate methods for handling her issues. Part I: Use of Genograms Genograms cam be a very helpful tool in a number of situations. In the situation of Jessica and Luis, it can provide a helpful visiual chart that may help to make them more aware of their bad situation. Jessica and Luis are undergoing many relationship issues, and genograms can be helpful in providing awareness in issues like this. The genogram itself “is a visual representation of an individual's family of origin and is similar in concept to a family tree” (Daughhetee, 2001, p. 21). It has been used for many decades in family therapy and was initially created by Murray Bowen. The genogram allows the counselor and the family to take a look at the relationships, roles, patterns, and functions that are common within the family. This can therefore allow the counselor to gather important data, cover levels of functioning, create hypothesis, and increase the awareness of the family regarding the emotional processes and repercussions their family structure may be undergoing (Daughhetee, 2001). Genograms can be quite helpful as far as many theoretical models are concerned. Genograms have been seen as a very effective way to analyze marriage and family relations. However, genograms have also been healthy in other areas as well; health care being one, and addictions treatment being another. Genograms can be useful for people of all ages and across the lifespan, and therefore can also be used with all ages. In this case, it can be used for Jessica, Luis, and the children (Daughhetee, 2001). The genogram, with its emphasis on patterns and relationships, is therefore a relevant and appropriate intervention tool for use with a struggling family. When a genogram is used in counseling, the counselor gains a abundance of information concerning systemic patterns within the client's family of origin. Although a genogram is advantageous simply as a method of gathering and analyzing information, it is also capable of deepening client awareness and insight. The family history that comes alive on a genogram can often explain disturbing or confusing behaviors of family members, and the insight and understanding that are realized through discussion of these insights can promote healing and growth. As the client perceives the connection between systemic patterns and behavior, the tendency to same is diminished, and healing can begin (Daughhetee, 2001). In the case of Luis and Jessica, the genogram can be used to track the family history and the relationships between those in the family. The therapist would then be able to take down information about every family member, going back at least three generations. This could be done during various meetings with both Luis and Jessica, either together, or on their own. Obviously, the therapist will need to gather the necessary information from both parties in order to construct a valid and useful genogram. By developing this chart, a visual would be created regarding the clinical problems in the family, and how they have evolved over time and through the various generations. Having the visual in front of the therapist, and in front of the married couple can present all three individuals with a way to research the potential problems that date back through the family tree. For instance, cycles of abuse and drug addiction have often been deemed genetic. The concept that an abused child usually becomes an abusive parent is not always necessarily true, but there seems to be a strong underlying concept supporting the fact that those who abuse were abused in the past. This would lead me to want to take a close look into Luis’s past, especially. His habits of abuse and drug addiction are clearly causing an additional amount of stress in the family, and distressing the children and his wife. Is this a problem that can be discovered to be stemming from something in his own childhood? The answer to this question would allow the counselor to get a better picture of Luis and what may then need to be done to help him change his behavior. If this is the case and he was abused, he is merely repeating what he knows as a father, and he will need to be helped and assisted with learning new techniques in order to keep the family together. Genograms would also be helpful in this instance because it will allow the family to view itself as a whole on a visual chart. It would basically serve as a visual representation of their togetherness and how they got to where they are. It should, then, give them a solid overview of what is going on, and how concepts that occurred in the past may actually be spilling over into the present. A united picture story, however, is a strong reminder to the family of their overall togetherness, and will also hopefully help to inspire them to wish to stay as a single family unit, and both address and attack their problems. Part II: Multi-Generational Transmission The concept of using the genogram also translates into taking a close look at multi-generational transmission in the case of Jessica and Luis. There is a strong belief that what one experiences as a child will be reflected in one’s own parenting styles. Thus, understanding influences on parenting behavior across the spectrum, including early family-of-origin influences, is essential in the prevention of deleterious outcomes and the promotion of competent child functioning. Existing studies in nonselected populations suggest cross-generational continuities. Parents of young children report parenting styles comparable to those of their own parents (Covell, Grusec, & King, 1995), and persons from more punitive backgrounds are more likely to endorse the use of harsh and physical discipline with their own children (Huesmann, Eron, Lefkowitz, & Walder, 1984). In one of the few studies to benefit from the use of prospectively collected observational data, initial analyses suggested that when boys at high risk for antisocial behavior become parents, they demonstrate behaviors similar to those of their own parents; that is, they provide more physical discipline, more negative feedback, and less cognitive assistance to their children than do parents in a community sample (Fagot, Pears, Capaldi, Crosby, & Leve, 1998). As far as Luis and Jessica are concerned, this could be the second step in the process. After developing the genogram and learning more about the patterns of behavior present in Luis’s own childhood, the next step would be to analyze why he is choosing to repeat these concepts. In order to make him understand the pain and damage he is causing to his own family, it may be important to make him realize the pain he experienced as a child. He would need to be taught that he can break this cycle and overcome this kind of behavior, and therefore he could have a happy life with both Jessica and his children. If he is presented with this concept and able to accept it, he would be past the most difficult part of the process, and ready to learn about the healing process and how this could help his family. Part III: Unstable Two-Person Relationships Bowen’s triangle theory suggests that a two person relationship is primarily unstable. There is little that can be done to escape this. Within the marriage of Luis and Jessica, it appears this concept is more than true; Luis is certainly the leader, and does whatever he wants. Jessica always invites him back in, no matter what he does, and she seems to have no control over him or what he does to or in front of the children. In order to try and achieve some kind of balance in her life, Jessica has been trying to use her elder son as a crutch in her life. She often uses him to vent, to explain things, and to make herself appear the victim in this situation. While it may make her feel better, it is detrimental to her son. Jessica, therefore, is not a total innocent in this capacity as far as hurting her family unit is concerned, although her actions are far more unintentional than Luis. Still, she is putting her elder son into adult situations that he is not psychologically ready to handle. This is increasingly damaging for him as a child, and may lead to him continuing this cycle of abuse so present already in the family. Therefore, the counselor will need to address this issue with Jessica and try to help her find alternate solutions for dealing with her pain. If Luis is attempting to heal and change, she may not need to do this so often, but he will ultimately stumble and have his issues while he is attempting to start again. It cannot be expected that his actions will be perfect even if he does want to change. Therefore, the counselor will need to assist Jessica in finding a more positive means for emitting her emotions, possibly even allowing Jessica to come to the counselor, and not her son, when Luis does something that angers her. Conclusion By using a genogram, the concept of multi-generational transmission, and the concept of unstable two person relationships, it is hoped that the problems of Luis and Jessica can be addressed. Since the instigator of most of the problems is Luis, much of the discussion has focused on him. It is the hope of the researcher that Luis will realize, through the presentation of a genogram and multi-generational transmission, the fact that abuse is a pattern that runs in a family, as far as both drugs and physical abuse are concerned. In Jessica’s case, it will be hoped that by demonstrating the damage she is doing to her son by involving him and relying on him, she will stop using him as a crutch, and find a better method (i.e., speaking to the counselor) of dealing with her pain and anger. By combining these three methods, it can be hoped that the family will be able to revise its actions and achieve peace and success as a stable, happy, family unit. References Covell, K., Grusec, J. E., & King, G. (1995). The intergenerational transmission of maternal discipline and standards for behavior. Social Development, 4, 32-43. Daughtetee, C. (2001). Using genograms as a tool for insight. Journal of College Counseling, 4.. Huesmann, L. R., Eron, L. D., Lefkowitz, M. M., & Walder, L. O. (1984). Stability of aggression over time and generations. Developmental Psychology, 20, 1120-1134. Fagot, B. I., Pears, K. C., Capaldi, D. M., Crosby, L., & Leve, C. S. (1998). Becoming an adolescent father: Precursors and parenting. Developmental Psychology, 34, 1209-1219. Read More