It is quite surprising to learn that what we normally assume to be true or quite evident is not what it seems. This is the case with how we communicate with other people. It is even more surprising how our communications with the people very close to us, those we love such as our parents, siblings or spouses, often do not get the intent and meaning of our messages. This seems to be the findings of a new provocative research study which indicated people often mistakenly believe they communicated better with close friends than with strangers (U.S. News, 2011, p. 1). This is probably because when with friends, we merely assume they understand us much better as compared to strangers and hence there is no need to expound or explain our messages further. In other words, we take it for granted that close friends understand us much better. We have the false illusion of insight or understanding when we are with close friends.
The results showed these couples overestimated their ability to communicate than they actually did in the study. I do not find this surprising at all and I actually agree with the study’s findings. Many couples quarrel, lose touch and get divorced because of this apparent miscommunication.
I had encountered a similar experience with my mom. One weekend, I said to her that I will be going to the school library for research work to look for some book sources for my term paper.